I am so sorry I have not responded to any post I have been spending my time in hospital with my son he has been sent home and i am busy almost all time i have no one to help but my husband and as most of you know we are separated but he comes over and does what he can runs errands for me .moves stuff around for me if i am doing some thing he will jump in and help .it is almost 12 noon and this is the first time i have had to sit down. doctors tell me he has a cancer that can not be treated it is all over him inside and out .it is the kind of melanoma that can not be treated has tumors in his stomach and lungs this is a fast growing cancer it has only been two months and he is bad that is all i know and all the doctors have told me he does not have much strength his feet and legs are so swollen they shine. can not hardly eat any thing Please Pray for him.and me all this at one time is almost more than i can take you know they always say in a crises you find out who your friends are well i have found out who mine are as i have no one helping me/but that is ok I love all of the ones I really thought was my friends.

Oh, that is so sad. We just went through the same scenario, and it was VERY difficult for the patient and for us. God grant both of you strength to get through this extremely trying time.

God Bless you bot.
Anneliese

So sorry to read this sad news, you both are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm sure you have a lot of friends, they just don't know how to handle this news, the word cancer is frightening to us all.

I can only repeat everyone else's best wishes. As a nurse I do know that many times people have no idea what to say. Your friends are probably just overwhelmed and fearful of doing the wrong thing. They will frequently say "let me know if you need anything" and of course you are not impressed with that. Actually - if you ask someone to come over for a cup of tea or coffee that lets them know you would like to see or talk to them. If they could visit with your son for a few minutes that would be nice too. I think people are so scared of bothering you or intruding that they back off. They don't want to say the wrong thing. I just read an article by a cancer survivor that said do NOT tell me of your friends who had XYZ cancer and how it went for them or weird cures/things you see on line - they have already done their research and decided on their plan of care. They really have no interest in your sisters office mates friend and their disease, etc. Coming over and talking about everyday things is fine and normalizing. A person that sick really doesn't want to think about it 24/7. talk about someone's dog digging up a garden is good. If there is no hospice in your area I would be amazed - call the local cancer center or ask your doctors office for information. There is no restriction of how long you are expected to live. It is not even restricted to a certain type of disease. They are there to help you do what the person wants - in home, hospital, whatever. They can provide help in the home and let you catch a breath. I put my mother on it in August and they were very helpful. I know my sisters husbands family is attempting to care for his mid 90's age mother who is denying need for help - they called hospice and she is co-operating somewhat with them. They are not a religious organization but support you in every way possible. I just know how much they have helped various people I know. I will be thinking of you frequently. I am impressed that your ex/seperated husband is helping - so often men are so afraid of any hospital or illness related problems.

1 comment

by bowlds 18 May 2015

Such wonderful advice for lenamae.

Oh, my goodness, Lenamae.......I am so sorry to hear of this tragic news....will pray for you and family......I wonder if your friends don't know how to respond to this devastating news and may not realize that even though they don't have first hand knowledge of what you are going through, they are still needed........try to reach out to several of them and see if they can lend their support....

Oh Lena, will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. At least you have a lot of friends on the Cute Site who are thinking and praying for you. Hugs from Maureen in South Africa.

Oh, my dear Friend, I pray that God grant you the strength to cope with the nursing of your very sick son and that you will stay strong and healthy. I pray that your son will be carried in God's Healing Hands and that he will find peace and comfort in the Lord. All the best to you and your family.

Prayers and hugs. God watch over you and keep u safe.
ElizabethAK

Oh dearest Lena, it is a hard time you and your son and his husband are going through. Most of the burden is lying on you alone - but think, there are some cuties around the world thinking and praying for y ou
and your son. Sending you love and hugs and thoughts - you are not alone - Maria from Germany

I am so sorry, but please know that we are always here to listen to you and are praying for you.

Hugs from Germany,
Gabi

Sorry life is so hard for you now, all I can do for you and your son is pray, hope the Lord will help you carry, or lighten the burden. Thank you for being here. Prayers and hugs are coming your way.

My heart goes out to you and your ex husband. I am so sorry your son is so ill. My thoughts are with you at this very hard time. Thank you for your post. Love and hugs Sarah.

I wish I was close...I would be there for you...Sending Hugs and Prayers your way...hang in there...We women are stronger than we think..God created us to bear the impossible all the while loving like no other....We are going through something wrong with our oldest boy also...My husband is in california trying to figure out whats wrong with him and helping where he can. Your Love will carry you through...And we are always here waiting for you to call upon us. deanna

I am so sorry you have such a heavy burden. I will pray that God will lighten it for you. Pray and be positive. We love you! Kay

You have my deepest sympathy. My prayers and thoughts are with you. I wish I could do more to help you at this time. Sometimes "friends" distance themselves in rough times because they either feel inadequate or do not want to intrude on a personal time. It is not always the right thing to do however....
Love & Hugs, Nadyne

Oh, LenaMae, my heart aches for you. This has to be such a tough situation, and glad your son's father is pitching to share the load with you. Take one day at a time and work with it. Thinking too far ahead only drains one more in these circumstances. As someone else mentioned, check out available resources to help you locally, such as churches and hospice organizations. I am still grieving over family members and friends I have lost the past two years to this dreadful disease. Praying for your son, you, and your family. May God bless you with your needs and give you the required strength through all of this. Hang in there!
Hugs, Angel

This is so heartbreaking. No words that I have can express how bad I feel for you. All I can do is pray that you will find the strength needed.
Hugs

My heart aches for you as I have faced a similar situration. I will pray for strength, courage and peace for you all.

God bless you for all you have been through and are going through. Wish I could hug and help you. Being a caretaker is very stressful and most people have no idea how much strength it takes every day, mentally and physically. My prayers for you and your son during this difficult time. Please know we are all here for you always. Hugs,Barba

I will say a prayer for you I am sure that you have a lot of friends here

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son. It is nice that your husband comes in and helps you. Love and hugs Shirley

Dear Lenamae, my thoughts and prayers are also being sent to you across the miles. I am praying that you will receive the strength to cope with all that is going on. May our Lord's presence be with you to comfort you and ease your burden. I agree with everyone else on here - check out your local hospice, aid assistance etc. There must be some respite available to you. I'm glad to read also that your ex-husband is still available to help out in time of need. Please be assured of my prayers from 'down-under'. Love and blessings Chris

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ah my dear friend I wish I was there to help you through this! Sometimes the crazy word Cancer will scare even the most well intentioned friend into hiding.....Ask God to send you some help & there you go your husband is there through all of this & how great is that. Keeping you in my prayers ~hugs & one more Hug for good measure!~

1 comment

by pldc 03 May 2015

Local Hospice & church's help are there all you have to do is ask. I do think there might be a local Cancer chapter that has many volunteers as well. Just so that you are not alone in carrying this burden.

So sorry there is nothing to do for him physically, but we know(as mothers) there is much you can do for him emotionally by being there to talk or listen. God bless you and your hub as you help him through this phase of his life. I will pray for you for strength and the right words. Check into hospice in your area, too, so you can have some break.

I am so sorry to hear this sad news with your son. The two of you have this time to share your love and relive happier times. Please know that I will be adding you and your son to my prayers asking for strength and comfort for all of you. Please let us know how you are all doing and know that we Cuties do care and wish we could be there to help.

Lenamae, please know your are in my thoughts and prayers. May God provide you with strength and comfort you during this tragic event in your life. Hugs, Mary

God be with you and your family. I am so sorry you do not have friends and more family help. It makes things so much worse when you are all alone. You both will get through this. I will pray for you all.

Oh Lena if I could I would help. Life can be so hard at times. My comfort is in knowing God has a reason for it all and will give us Grace and carry us through if He must..I can truly say this because He has done it for me. You as I have said before are in my prayers and will continue to be. Just remember You are loved!!/Lillian

Don't apologize! You are going through the worst thing a mom can. so here is my prayer for you. Dear Father God, we ask you to touch this family, mother, son, and father, heal the son keep mom strong and let her feel your presence! I ask this in the name of Jesus, AMEN

I know we are not ther, but you are not alone, you have all of us and all of our prayers. I can only imagine how painful this time is for you. God bless.

Sweet Lena, don't apologize to us. You have a great burden and I know that God is with you always. My prayers are for you, your son, and his father. Take a few minutes when you can to rest, and just be still.

My heart goes out to you...so very sad to hear about your son...I will keep you all in my prayers...although we are not physically there to help you, know that we Cuties are all here to help you emotionally and support you...and "crosses" is correct in suggesting you contact a local hospice to help...

I am so sorry to hear the situation is what it is. God Bless you and your son and your X for jumping in.

Bless your heart - you are overwhelmed - please know that your son and you are in my thoughts and in my prayers! Hugs to you, Laura*

My prayers for you and your son in this difficult time, hugs S*

So sorry to hear of your difficulties. I pray for comfort for your son, and peace for you to endure this difficult time. Can you get hospice or home health care to help. Hospice was a God send when my husband's mother was in the last stages of cancer. We couldn't have done it without them. Again prayers and hugs

My thoughts and prayers are with you. You should contact your local Hospice and they will help you.