Well it seems that things are about where they were last December---as the link below will show---I go shopping and buy lots of things about bats for Hween without having Hween on them---I send a different small or medium box of bat things to the grands---write the parent a note telling them basically what it is and if they don't want it give it away---then I text a pic of what has been sent---well, my offspring called last night---had not called for 1 1/2 months---I am sending too many boxes---then I get a text tonight saying to stop texting pics---too many and too often--and stop sending boxes---put it all in one box---well that is great if I can---then they would never get the stuff--and even when they do get the stuff I get no thank you or response that they even got the stuff---which is ok considering the busyness and stress of young families--so I AGAIN was hurt---I sent him a text saying there would be no more boxes and no more pics--I deleted all strands from offspring and offspring's spouse----it hurts to do it----I have been hurt one too many times---I was taught to just say thank you for the gifts and if you don't want them give them away---so I will not FB or text unless they initiate the conversation--If I call there is NEVER an answer----so I ask Cute Family to pray for peace----the things I have purchased that I was going to send for an inbetween Hween and Tday are going to the homeless shelter and to children I know who are in need----pray for peace and healing---God bless y'all.

I feel your pain. I wonder if they expect money. You are a good person doing good things.

I am still dealing with all of this. Gave all the stuff to a family at church---actually 3 families are getting the stuff. I love the ideas of giving to the homeless and less fortunate. I will be making replies to all of the Cuties below later in the day. I am still finding homes for stuff. And I continue to do stuff that will need homes. God bless Y'all.

1 comment

by asterixsew 04 Nov 2015

Take care and thanks for the reply

You are not alone.
I have a few friends with grandchildren who are not allowed to gift or make anything for their grandchildren. A few live close to their children's families and others live far apart.
All tried to make and give things to the family and they were either ignored or told not to do it.
They are now all doing grandchildren things for the homeless shelters that want that sort of stuff. Making beautiful cardigans and toys and clothes, etc. They are still making stuff and enjoying the making and the giving, but not having the hassle from the parents of their own grandchildren.
One lady reported last month that her eldest grandson liked what she was making for charity giving and asked if she could make one for him. She kindly told him that he had plenty of things and the things she was making were for less fortunate children. She gently referred the child back to the parent who doesn't want "homemade" for her kids when he still wanted one for himself.

There is family and there is Chosen Family. Find your Chosen Family - friends, neighbors, church members, babies who don't have local grandparents and need occasional babysitting so the parents can afford a night out. After my first DH's funeral, my only sister demanded to know who the woman was that I pulled up beside me into the family pew! She was my prayer partner of 3 years who sang faithfully beside me in choir and who I had helped get a job. She got me through that funeral with her quiet presence and a few little hand pats. We had shared so much, that this was just one more thing.

Try to be patient, protect your heart, pray(as others are also praying for you), and perhaps things will improve when they realize what they are losing.
After time, I have been able to recover from a toxic relationship by being civil instead of open, by responding instead of initiating. I miss the closeness, but not the pain, and I have not had to withdraw completely. You might find blessings by following the suggestions of those who responded before me to reach out to those in need, and who might show some appreciation.

1 comment

by osueo 25 Mar 2016

It is now March----I sent a CHRISTmas card with a few $ and a small treat----response??????????---my husband bought an Easter card for each GChild---he asked me to address and sign--I did---he enclosed $$$ or ???---and he sent them---It STILL hurts---have spoken to son 2 weeks ago--little change---obviously my interpretation---I found less fortunate in the area and young cousins 1200 miles away---they received a lot of stuff that I purchased and made----tonight at Good Friday service--a young woman came up and said thank you and we love you and you can give us anything anytime!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It made my day. God is good---Happy Easter to all and God bless Y'all. This has taken a LONG TIME to respond. I pray about it constantly.

Oh so sorry May God be with you now as you need him to hug you Carrolyn

I am so very sorry. I know your sweet heart is breaking. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I will pray as you have asked for peace and healing.
Have you thought about being a big sister or foster parent? There are lots of discarded children out in the world that would love to have your generous and loving heart in their lives.

This is my second attempt at replying as the other vanished in the ether... I remember your previous comments. Just remember that you brought your son up to your standards and if he has chosen to abandon them then its not your fault/problem. I am in the UK and I know many who instead of sending a gift send a donation to a national charity for something like feeding a family for a day, provide safe drinking water, providing a compost loo, animals, soap, the list is endless. One is able to let the person that you are buying the gift for know what you have done for them. I know that a group of people I worked with each put the money they would have spent on Christmas cards and then bought something from this Charity.

i am sad for you because family kids and offspring is Gods give to you and if their lives became to busy for you it is sad but look up to Him and He will guide you and there is always somebody that needs your love and attention send your boxes to the shoe box foundation over Christmas and i am sure you will make a little one happy love

I too am sorry this is happening to you. I know the feeling as I go through the same thing when sending gifts to my children and grandchildren. The past few years, they haven't appreciated anything they received and made it very clear, they didn't feel we had spent enough on them.
It is a shame as my children were taught to say Thank You no matter the value of the gift, not today. You will go through a lot of tears and anger but in time you will work yourself through it and decide to give to those that show appreciation which is what I do. Rather than purchase items for those that aren't going to appreciate it, I give to every organization out there that helps children and veterans.
Take care and enjoy those around you.

1 comment

by asterixsew 03 Nov 2015

It is up to the giver to decide what they send and the receiver should never make a comment that you have not spent enough.

My heart grieves for you and your family. All are losing such precious relationships. But I agree with dididwiar. There are so many who need and would welcome your love and your gifts. And what a difference you will make in their lives.

Oh I am so sorry this is happening for you!! Give your lovely gifts and spend your time on those that will appreciate it. Take comfort in the fact that you have tried and tried with your family. Maybe you should send them a christmas card and enclose a photo of you with some grateful recipients Thanking you for your selfless efforts.

So sorry it hasn't worked out between your families, I'm sure there is a charity or shelter that will be ever so grateful for anything you can do. Chin up we appreciate having you here. Marian

I am so sorry to hear this news. It used to be so different. I think it should be different. I know you will find a place where your gifts are well received and appreciated. God Bless.

This is heart breaking for you, and i know you must hurt terribly. Hope fully the family will come to their senses, before too long. Enjoy your neighbours and friends children, make things for shelters, homeless, disadvantaged and other charities. I get great pleasure from making knitted or crochet blankets for the cancer hospital, and booties for still born, and prem babies. There is always someone needing help, and you seem to be a very generous person. Take care. Sandra.

This is just heart breaking for you and your grand children. I just cannot imagine what you are going through. Having never experienced any thing like this is is hard for me to understand. Keep strong. Thoughts and hugs to you. Sarah

1 comment

by osueo 03 Nov 2015

thanks Sarah---they are 500 miles away---praying that I will get through this and move on---will do for children where I am---God bless you