Well my dear sisters, here I am, Let the Hospice folks talk me into letting Ron go for Respite for 5 days, because they said" you need a break" now here I sit at home totally alone and lost without him and worrying about his care. I feel no one can take as good care of him as I can. Is that awful of me? I miss him something awefull and this is just the 1st night. He is just in town about 40 miles away but has no phone so I can call him. The ambulance came and took him away today and I just want to go and get him and bring him back home but know I cannot do it without help. Whats to do? Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder but I've no place to go and nothing I would like to do except have him with me. Thanks for listening/Lillian
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Today I believe will be the day Ron comes back home!! If I am off on the timing then as late as tomorrow, and you have had a new perm, 2 Easter dresses, watching your grandson Caleb play ball and visits with friends and stitching of course! Hoping there was a bit of sleep in there also. Hugs to you and your wonderful family for keeping you busy. We understand just how difficult these 5 days have been for you and we are so glad that you had eyes and ears visiting Ron daily so that his needs were fully taken care of, otherwise they all knew that you would not get the rest and rejuvenation that your body and spirit were so desperately in need of. (((Hugs))) Pam
8217The hardest thing to do is to let someone else care for your loved one. But, you NEED to care for yourself or you won't be any good to care for your loved one.
35167Please have a good rest I know what it is like I cared for my sister and mother and now my husband It tears us apart more to leave our loved ones.All my love and prayers he is being very well cared for
10296I just saw this too. I've been busy and haven't been checking in on everyone. Lillian, hospice people are some of the most caring folks there are. He is in good hands. How are you doing? They tell you that you need a rest but when you've been taking care of someone and then you're left alone all you do is worry. Please let us know how you are doing. Time moves so much more slowly when you are suddenly left with nothing to do. Here in NY state my flowers are starting to push up through the ground to start anew . It is still too early to start planting yet but thank God for perriennials. They always give me hope that life made it through the cold nasty winter and new life is coming , renewing my spirit when it needs hope so badly. It has been a rough winter and I thank God for the reminder that He is still with me and I have another chance to feel the warmth of the sun on my face and His beauty is coming through again offering hope which I tend to lose when I'm cooped up indoors for so long. My Maurice tells me I get this way every year when snow has become a four letter word and I'd forgotten that hope is also a four letter word and I can start over again. You are in my prayers and I know you are not alone. Check in with us and I will check back to look for your post. God bless you.
15572Happy Last Day off for awhile! Hope you've had some good rest and recuperation, like the troops on R & R.
66908I have only just seen this Lillian. By now I am sure that the pain of Ron not being with you is getting better. Take full advantage of the rest and try not to worry. I am sure he is being well looked after. Thinking about you. Hugs Sarah
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255050Your husband is in wonderful care. I am sending prayers and hugs. Suzanna
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18140Big hugs and prayers your way!!!!! That is the way I felt with my Dad. I understand you!!!!!
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72397I've just seen your post, Miss Lillian and I'm so sorry. You have to be exhausted after all of these months and lost without your darling Ron. Please rest, for him. He will need you when he gets back and you need to get re-charged and revitalized. You will both be better off. I'm praying for your heart and your body to rest and mend. Go sit in the sunshine and get a dose of Vitamin D, and take your Bible to read and get a dose of Vitamin G. ;)
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by lbrow
08 Apr 2017
I love it Jerrilyn. I get my Vit G every morning come what may, couldn't make it through the day without it. It gives me a jump start. As for sunshine. Today I'm going to get to go and see Caleb play ball, something I haven't been able to do for 2 yrs now. He's always asking me when am I going to see him play ball again and todays the day.. Ron's Aide from Hospice is still seeing him everyday and giving him his bath. Talked to her yesterday. She got them to move him from the rm he was in to another that is better with a better rm mate so my mind is resting a little better. about him knowing she is going to see him every day even the weekend. . Went and got a perm yesterday so that helped me also. Thank you for loving us/Lillian
by toogie
08 Apr 2017
So happy you got a new hair- do. That alone helps a woman feel better. Let us know how the game came out. Either way, Caleb's a winner as you were there!
by jrob
09 Apr 2017
Sounds like a beautiful day you had. Give yourself permission to enjoy it. (Yes, I know you.)
158715Lillian , get some rest. Hospice is a wonderful organization. They will take good care of him. We are all praying. Kay
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by lbrow
08 Apr 2017
Thank you Kay, Internet has been down since yesterday afternoon and has just now come back up. Daughter took me for a little ride last night and I am better reconciled/Lillian
85867I hope you are feeling better today. More hugs coming your way.
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52686Dear Lillian. as hard as it is, he is in good hands. You need to rest so when he is released you are rested. Prayers for you and Ron. Take care. Hugs Lynn
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51302Oh, Lillian, I just read this and I believe I would feel just the way you are feeling - kinda lost. I am certain you probably do need a break - but, unless you were going away to visit some friends or family - I would feel just the same. You needed to have some specific plans to keep you entertained. Otherwise, you will just sit there and miss your dear hubby!! Call your daughter and see if you can go visit her. Post us and let us know how you are!!! Hugs and love!!!! Laura
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96266115749Have a cyber hug. Other Cuties have given great ideas but Ron is in capable hands and getting good attention. You need to be A1 to be his main carer. Do somethings you enjoy so you have some happy stories to tell Ron when he comes home. You have reminded me that I must try and take a local neighbour to visit her husband who has been moved an hours journey away permanently for his care and she cant drive and there are no children to help. Thinking positive thoughts for you both and before you know it he will be back
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by lbrow
08 Apr 2017
Thank you what better way can we show our thanks than to help someone else in need. Much love Lillian
115749You have great advice from several who have been in similar shoes and understanding the stress you carry. I join my voice in wanting you to get out of the house. You know all the things you can do at home and while sewing all night is one, the visit to a dear friend was exactly the hope that they wished you to do. Hair done, shopping or a new something you would like. Get out see friends and family, purchase material, and take a nap at any time. Treasure preparing for Easter services maybe getting a new Easter dress if one is desired, if services are something you are able to do when Ron is back home, if not just enjoying this Sundays services. You are most definitely going to think your house is empty and that you would know best how to care for your dear Ron, and you truly can and have done so, for many years, but this is not about Ron needing better care but about you yourself getting the better care. This is what they could do to help you and your family, to lighten your load that you have been trying to carry mostly alone. The long run situation is if you do not get rest and an occasional break then both you and Ron could need to be in a nursing facility. You yourself need pampering rest and rejuvenation. Staff at the hospice share the burden and get to go home after a shift. You know they are calling you to keep you reassured and now you need to focus and make the best use of these days so you are strong and rested. They chose the 5 days for a reason, as they knew that it would be a difficult thing for your heart and mind. Giving you one or 2 days would have just been torture to have him away without gaining you the respite that you are in such need of. Make sure that you remember to eat and take the time for some deep restful sleep. Even multiple naps in a day if you are going to continue sewing all night. Yes, you will wake up confused that you had not heard Ron, but the hope is you will spend at least a few of these days doing those things that will help your body the most. It goes without question you know your lives are in the Lord's tender hands, He too knows you need to be cared for and get your rest. If the house is too quiet put on some comforting music, stitch something for the hospice workers, but mostly remember you are both in the Lord's hands and he knew you needed some rest. All Cuties stand ready to send you (((hugs))) across the internet, and will help dry every tear you may shed, though in reality, the Lord is already by your side, He has already been drying them before you could finish typing your post. Feel His comfort and concern for you. His strength helps you each day care for Ron, now let Him help to give you some healing restful time so you will best be able to care for both you and Ron in just a few short days. ((Hugs))) again, Pam
I had to correct a sentence as I thought Easter was this Sunday not the 16th- hope I did not confuse anyone else along with me. :)
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by lbrow
08 Apr 2017
Thank you Pam, you made me shed some tears again but only of joy. Your heart over flows when you know there are so many that really and truly care about you. I'm doing some of these things. Daughter insisted I go and get a perm yester day. I did.. They are taking me to see my Great G son play ball today. something I haven't been able to do in quite a while and he will be 9 the end of this month. I hate shopping for anything but Fabric so here came daughter with 6 dresses, telling me to try on and pick 2 for Easter so I did. . Easter of course Ron will be back but I will get to go to sunrise services which is always a blessing . I love all you Cuties more than you will ever know. Having been here almost since the beginning many have been with me through thick and thin and I will always be grateful for you all. Much love Lillian
8217dear Miss Lillian, I can imagine how hard this is for you. Try to rest like the doctor said, so you will have enough energy again when Ron gets home. He will be in good hands, he knows you love him and would like to be at his side, but he will like you to have a good rest too. Prayers and hugs for the both of you. and every time you need that shoulder please let us know, hugs/love and prayers are coming your way .
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743281Maybe you could go to Walmart and buy a cheap tracphone and take it to him so that you two could talk. They have some phone with service for about 19.99. When me and my hubby are apart we have a phone date at 7 pm, we started this when dating. It does help.
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by lbrow
08 Apr 2017
I love that you and your hubby have a set phone date. Thanks for the advice/Lillian
87Oh my*** try to rest**** and know he is in good hands **Praying for you hugs
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by lbrow
08 Apr 2017
Now Carolyn you know resting is not something that comes easy for me. The 2 of us are a lot a like. I am doing some things I enjoy though. Working on 125 small holders for small pks of tissues to put in purse. These are for the Homemakers Club big district meeting. and luncheon.. They will be given as favors. Unable to get to any of the meetings anymore but still try to do my part. Love you/Lillian
360641This breaks my heart, it could be any of us. I have thoughts and prayers for you and you husband. Perhaps you can make this lonely time into a preparing time and do some things to prepare for his return in 5 days. Keep good thoughts and hum. Humming is good. I am thinking of you and hope you and your home are refreshed and invigorated when he returns.
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5277Dear Lillian. I understand the pain you are suffering right now. It is very hard to be alone while someone you love is ill.
Try thinking this. Ron maybe a little more relaxed knowing his beloved is getting a well deserved rest.
Hugs and prayers for all.
You are in God's loving care.
Doreen
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10852Ms Lillian my heart goes out to you. I know the pain you are going through. It is natural to feel you are the only one who knows how to care for him. The greatest gift you can give him right now is to take care of the caregiver. Hospice is a wonderful organization, and if they suggested you need the time, then they are probably right. So do as everyone is suggesting and take time to do something you haven't been able to so you are refreshed. We are all here for you. Sending prayers of comfort and healing for you and peace for Mr. Ron.
t
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by lbrow
07 Apr 2017
Aahhhh kuddle again I welcome you to Cute. You are in the middle of finding out just how wonderful this site is. So many caring hearts are difficult to find in one place these days. But here there are many. Thank you/Lillian
14637My heart goes out to you. I know how it is I cared for my mom for 3 years 24 /7 No one could do it better ... But Ron is in well trained capable hands... He will be back before you know it and you will be refreshed to care for him ... Come let us hold your hand and be with you... Prayers are with you and Ron.. Suzanne
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111376Love and prayers from me to you and comfort in your love for him and his for you. May you be refreshed during this time. Hugs across the miles, Joan
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9536Dear Lillian, surely Ron is in good hands and you do need to get out of the house. You could find things to do at home, but you can do that when Ron's there. Thing is, you can't get out when he's there, so take advantage of this opportunity. Just think he will be home soon so do something for you now. Have lunch with a friend, shop for some fabric to make all those pretty dresses you do for charity or for a new quilt (like the pretty one you made your granddaughter ). Go see the movie The Shack I've been wanting to see, on second thought I think I remember someone saying it was good but sad, you don't need that. Maybe, just go for a leisurely drive through a countryside. I love seeing the natural things God made for us to enjoy.Whatever you decide, just don't stay home and worry. And come back and tell us what you did, how refreshed you are and Ron's home again! love Toogie
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by lbrow
07 Apr 2017
Thank you Toogie. I smiled when you suggested a movie. I think it has been 6 or 7 years since I've been to a movie. The kids get DVDs/movies) a d bring to us to watch,/Lillian
109780Sending you big hugs. Come here anytime to vent. I Wish could make you feel better. Maybe reading a good book?
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109774Oh! dear Miss Lillian I feel your sadness and heartache. You've been Ron's carer for so long, but as the others have said you do need a break yourself.
I love Betsey's idea of pampering yourself a little and am so thankful too that your family are so close by to help you. Are you still driving yourself?
The five days will go by so quickly I'm sure and just think of the things you can do for yourself around your lovely home. Can you go out with someone for a day of friendship, or ring a friend and have a long uninterrupted chin-wag? I hope that you will come out the other side of these 5 days renewed, refreshed and reinvigorated. Thinking of you and sending cuddles and prayers, love Chris
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by lbrow
07 Apr 2017
Thank you Chris. I did go and visit a friend who just got out of the hospital. She is 89 and had been in hospital almost a month. She is a precious person /Lillian
234496Oh, Lillian. You aren't alone. Yes, you have friends here on cute, but you and I know who really is right there with you. God understands exactly how you feel. Go right ahead & cry on our shoulders...that's what friends are for. Praying for you right at this very moment.
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35675Whose care is he really in all the time, sweetheart? Acknowledge that in your prayers and go lie down in peace. Pull a couple of pictures of him near you, just in case you need to take a peek on how he's doing in God's care. In the morning, I want you to do something luxurious like a bubble bath or a pedicure or a foot soak or a call to a friend or a time outside in the sunshine (I'm hoping).. In five days I want you to look and feel younger and ready for a re-start with your darling. Saying prayers for you now.
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by lbrow
07 Apr 2017
Thanks Betsy. Sleep never would come last night, but today is a new day. Daughter told me last night to go and get a permanent and hair cut so I just might do that but going to wait until I hear from the Hospice nurse after he sees Ron this morning. His CNA will also call me after she gives him his bath. When I hear from them my mind will be easier I hope. It's really gotten cold here again, had to turn on some heat. How was it on South of here?/Lillian
by graceandham
07 Apr 2017
Chilly here, too. Can't figure this wild weather out, but I definitely prefer chilly to crashing rain, hail, thunder and tornado sirens.
66908My dear Lillian, I am sorry you are feeling alone. Try to get some sleep. You are the BEST person your husband could have for a caregiver and wife. I am certain he would want you to be happy and breathe easier for a few days. I know it will be hard for you. I will pray that the Lord will bless you both!
Hugs!
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