I just need to tell my Cute friends the following. Please say a prayer for us and for Chris Pennifold as she is going through the same thing.
For the last 2 years I have been taking care of my oldest sister, she has Dementia. She lives alone, I would take her to appointments and shop for her. I would spend hours trying to clean the hoarding house. Her house is need of major repair. The signs have been there for some time but now it is at a point where I need more help with her. We do have another sister, but she has not spoken to us in over a year. Yesterday I sent her a letter telling her I love her and about our older sister. I hope she responds.She did stay at a behavioral hospital unit for 10 days. Medications were adjusted and upon release the doctors said she can no longer live by herself, and she must go to assisted living. Well, we found one, but she had to wait 2weeks to become a resident. I brought her to stay with me. She also has Sundowners. I only slept about 3 hours a night for those 2 weeks. At times she does not recognize me or my house. I tried to be calm with her but at times I did get aggravated. I have cried many of times. One thing I do not understand is the doctors say she is competent but unable to be on her own and unable to make good decisions for herself.
She had a dog, 16 years old, we found a senior dog foster, strange but sister was not upset when the dog left. But that night was a nightmare. Of course, she did not remember doing destruction of the bedroom.
The most sewing I have done in months is putting her name on her clothes. It’s a sad feeling.
The resident room was ready last Monday, and she was looking forward to going to assisted living. Once there dementia took over. But we did get through the hours of signing paperwork. That night my emotions of am I doing the right thing or should I have done something different etc.
I did not go visit her Tuesday or Wednesday. I did call and they tell me she is doing great, participates in activities, is friendly, very social and eats well, still hides things. I will go visit this afternoon.
Cuties thank you so much for understanding. Hugs and flowers to all, Suzanna
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UPDATE ON SISTER SANDY
UPDATE ON SANDY
Yesterday's visit was very good. I think a few days away from her was a plus. She still wants to go to her house, the bank and a few other things, but I try change the subject. At first, she did not know me, I told her I was her sister Suzie and then she accused me of going into her room and taking things. She continues to hide things; she is very attached to her purse and her clip board. We went to her room, and it was not too bad. Her clothes she likes to keep in bags not in the dresser. That’s OK with me. We went to a craft activity and made a necklace. She talked to others at the table, and she was quite relaxed (meds about an hour earlier). Staff says she is very social. The night before during the dinner time they played 50’s music (she loves that). She was the joy of the dinner time, she got up and did the twist and other dances to the music. The staff and residents love it. She seems to be adjusting, loves the 3 meals a day, and likes to do the activities. One of the directors bought her a bird feeder and put outside her window, I hope she opens the blinds and watches the birds (at home her windows were covered with sheets, towels, blankets) so no one could see in. That is the paranoia that goes with dementia. I will go see her Saturday or Sunday.
I felt pretty good about the visit, so after the visit I treated myself to Chinese Pineapple Shrimp, rice and Rangoon’s. It was so good!
I feel lots of stress has been lifted. Even my dog is not stressed now that the house is getting back to maybe normal. Tonight, I might go to my high school class reunion.
Thank you, Cuties, for your blessings and prayers. You are the best friends! Love, hugs and flowers to all, Suzanna
4 comments
by dailylaundry
22 Jul 2022
Suzanna, thanks for the update! And be sure to go to your reunion!!! Sounds like your sister is in good hands! Loads of prayers and hugs, Laura
by pennifold
22 Jul 2022
Oh! Suz, that is so good to hear. I'm glad your sister is at last getting constant care. Mum is the same, I'm sure she would love the companionship, 3 meals a day etc. Go and relax now, knowing Sandy is in the best of care. Love Chris
by 02kar
23 Jul 2022
It is so good to hear good news. I'm so glad the 2 of you had a good visit and hope you have many more. I hope you did go to your reunion and had a good time.
18140Suzanna Our prayers are with you and Chris. IT is a terrible disease for sure. I went through it with my dad... It is hard to give them what they need and take care of yourself too at the same time. My heart goes out to you both along with my prayers. Try to enjoy your visit. She may surprise you and enjoy her new place. You are doing great. Your sister is so lucky to have you.. HUGS
1 comment
by sebsews
22 Jul 2022
Thanks. I am sure you were a great support for your dad. I will continue to help her but some of her requests are not possible. I know it is going to be a long process and I will try my best.
111382Suzanna...so sad when things like dementia strike...we have had similar situations in our family as well. Please know that you have done the right thing, as difficult as it is. Hugs and blessings to you and your family. I hope you hear a positive response from your sister...
1 comment
by sebsews
22 Jul 2022
Thanks! It is one of the most difficult decisions in my life. Still waiting to hear from Sister Judy. Thanks for the hugs and blessings. Suzanna
318472Oh! darling Suzanna, I hear you and my thoughts and prayers are with you. You have certainly done the right thing and this is what we will have to do too for our Mum.
It's for their own safety and health and that's what is the most important, I'm so glad to read that your sister is doing well there.
Your sister's actions sound like Mum's, especially hiding things he he he. Keep your spirits up and be assured of my thoughts, love and prayers. Love Chris
1 comment
by sebsews
22 Jul 2022
Thank you Chris. I really do know I have done the right thing. Her safety and health have been a concern for some time. Her meals were toast and peanut, and pm either a cheap pizza (she did use oven) or a healthy Choice sweet and sour Chicken (microwave). I would cook and take her food (found in the freezer) I thought she was eating food I brought. You too, keep up your spirits and we all care and wish you the best. Thanks for being there for me and Sister Sandy.
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52686Suzanne, your sister was blessed to have had such a loving and supportive sister ....you were able to give her a home and care until she could go to the assisted facility....it is always tougher on the caretaker but you certainly did what is best for all of you. Blessings and prayers are headed your way!
1 comment
by sebsews
22 Jul 2022
Thank you, Vicki. Yes, tough on me too! I know she is in the best place. Thanks for the prayers.
261163Suzanna, you did the right thing! I am only sorry that you haven't received a call from your other sister. Families need to help each other - not one family member taking care of everything by themselves - it just isn't right. You certainly do need a big hug and I wish I was there to give it to you. Please take a deep breath - be kind to yourself. Let us know how your visit went with your sister. Again, you did the right thing - loads of hugs to you!! Laura
1 comment
by sebsews
22 Jul 2022
Thank you, Laura. I have told my sons, if Judy calls them and asks for information, they are to tell her she should call me. That way Judy would hear the story from me and not get others involved. Thanks for the hugs!
96279I wish I could wrap you in a BIG hug and tell you, that you have been and continue to be the best sister and you deserve to hear this many times. It is so hard to have to bring a loved one to be cared by others. But it is often the best thing for our loved ones. And for us. I'm glad you gave your sister time to adjust to her new home and you a time of rest. I hope the 2 of you have a wonderful visit with many more to come. I agree, so many of our Cute family are going through this or have been through it. So please don't feel alone. Please do reach out and talk to us. We are happy to share your sadness and fears.
1 comment
by sebsews
22 Jul 2022
Thank you, sweet Karen! When I took her to assisted living, I had to go to another room because I could not stop crying. The feeling was like dropping your child off the first day of school. The staff was very caring and helped me through it. This step is best for all.
169064Oh Suzanna, I nearly cried reading your post. People that care as much as we do always second guess, did I do the best thing? or should I have done differently? When I had to place my sister in the nursing home I came home and cried like a baby. She on the other hand loved it. She had felt afraid to live alone and she always did like people attending to her. Dementia is a heartbreaking disease. We still try to think rational and think they should too but they can't. You have done the best you can for her. Believe that. It is also the best for you even though you may not want to think of yourself. You couldn't go on like that forever and then suppose you got a health issue and be hospitialized. What would happen to her on her own at your house? She is in the best place. Don't let guilt creep into your thoughts. We know you love her even if she may not be able to remember. It is very sad your other sister is so distant. I pray her heart will be open, to receiving your outreach to her. I pray you can accept this is the best for both of you and know you have done all you could. Love and many warm hugs to you-Toogie
3 comments
by sewtired
21 Jul 2022
Excellent response Toogie. Don't be hard on yourself Suzanna for doing what needed to be done. Take a deep breath and continue with life.
by crafter2243
21 Jul 2022
Toogie said it all. I know what you are feeling having gone through some of it myself. You are in my prayers
by sebsews
22 Jul 2022
Thank you Toogie for such a positive message. Sewtired and Crafter2243, thanks for your comments too. I know in my heart she is in the best place for both of us. She is good at times, then dementia jumps in, and I realize yes, she needs assisted living. Yes, I have put my own health on hold, cancelling or reschedule doctor appointments. I will try to do better for me. I wrote the letter to other sister because she has blocked my phone number. Still hoping we can talk soon.
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