by jrob Moderator 16 Sep 2008

Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed downat a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit---no flies, nosmell. What business could that poor kitty have had here?' murmured Ellen.'Come on, Ellen, let's just go...' But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining, 'I'lljust put my things in your bag, and then I'll take the tissue.' She dumpedher purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle andlower the former feline into her own Dillard's bag and cover it. They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods inthe trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burialbag in the trunk, warmed by the TEXAS sunshine while they ate, Kay's Luminawould soon lose that new-car smell. They decided to leave the bag on top ofthe trunk, and they headed over to Luby's Cafeteria. After they cleared the serving line and sat down at a window table, they hada view of Kay's Chevy with the Dillard's bag still on the trunk. BUT not forlong! As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll bytheir car, look quickly this way and that, and then hook the Dillard's bagwithout breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision. Kayand Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement. It all happened sofast that neither of them could think how to respond. 'Can you imagine?'finally sputtered Ellen. 'The nerve of that woman!' Kay sympathized withEllen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grandsurprise awaiting the red-gingham thief. Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticedEllen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line. Following hergaze, Kay recognized with a shock the woman with THE Dillard's bag, hangingfrom her arm, brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier. Helplessly theywatched the scene unfold: After clearing the register, the woman settled ata table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat.After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually liftedthe bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, butnot far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled outthe tissue paper and peered into the bag. Her eyes widened, and she began tomake a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap asshe sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beveragecart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboyto call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver. A crowd quicklygathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to theirchairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes the woman emerged from the crowd, still gasping,strapped securely on a gurney. Two well-trained EMS volunteers steered herto the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings. The lastthey saw of the distressed cat-burglar, she disappeared behind the ambulancedoors, ...................... the Dillard's bag perched on her stomach!! Sometimes, God does take care of those who do bad things (AND once inawhile..He allows us to witness it.)

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by gramsbear 16 Sep 2008

I have to tell you this, LOL, I thought this was funny and emailed it to a friend, she and her DH called me and they couldn't stop laughing! Seems this is true (with a coupla changes). it happened in Lawton OK, a few years ago to some friends of theirs when they lived in Lawton! Go figure. I still think its funny! Another *4U.

1 comment
jrob by jrob 17 Sep 2008

that's a riot!

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by marjialexa Moderator 16 Sep 2008

She was probably allergic to cats, hee hee hee. Here I thought since she ordered fish, the kitty woke up in the bag when he smelled it. It's still funny, but I like my ending better, since I love cats, giggle giggle. My kitty brought me a supposedly dead chipmunk today, but apparently she just scared the liver out of it, because when I picked it up to bury it, it had begun breathingc again. So, figuring it was just shocky, I put it in the warm sun on the lawn chair, locked kitty up, and pretty soon Chip got up, a little wobbly, but apparently wiser, and made his way under the shed. He'll have a story to tell his grand-chips. And kitty got her treat of baloney anyway, hee hee hee. Funny story, Jerri. But I still think the kitty was alive in there, and she was allergic to it. Luv ya, Marji

1 comment
jrob by jrob 17 Sep 2008

I like your ending, too.;)

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by lbrow 16 Sep 2008

Even if it isn't true It's hilarious jrob. Not funny that the thief had a probable heart attack, but who r we to question God's wisdom. after all the bible tells us His eye is on the sparrow. *

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by grannyo 16 Sep 2008

lol Now that is funny. *4u

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by katydid 16 Sep 2008

Sick, but funny. I like sick humor!!

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by blackie 16 Sep 2008

Very funny, but i like to see an eye for an eye! thanks for the laugh!

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by stitchship 16 Sep 2008

Thank you so much for this one. I needed a good laugh! ;)

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by dlonnahawkins 16 Sep 2008

That is funny - but can you imagine when she tries to explain "what's in your bag?" Thanks for sharing

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by auntbaba 16 Sep 2008

Great story!

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by dkjack 16 Sep 2008

Thanks for sharing jrob. Wonder what the hospital thought if she told them what was in "her" bag. :)

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by colonies1 16 Sep 2008

that will teach her NOT to steal.....

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by adelmarie 16 Sep 2008

Thanks for sharing

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by workbecky 16 Sep 2008

What a laugh! Thanks. As one who lives in Texas I know all too well the Texas sun. lol Becky

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by sanc 16 Sep 2008

She got her reward - what she deserved. God's will be done.

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by americangirl 16 Sep 2008

I like it.
Thanks for the laugh.

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by damaris 16 Sep 2008

It was funny. I wouldn't have had the guts to put it in the bag to begin with

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by blhamblen 16 Sep 2008

O M G :) I had to share this with my sisters. They all love to shop.! Here I sit alone in the house giggling till I can't stop...:)

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by gramsbear 16 Sep 2008

Thank you for sharing that, it is great! *4U

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by mops Moderator 16 Sep 2008

Just imagine sitting there and witnessing.. Funny!

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by michele921 16 Sep 2008

Oh that is so cute I can imagine that happening LOL
Thank you for th giggle today LOL
Michele

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