by amarilloactor 22 Sep 2008

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear the rules
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem < B>only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see i n only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or

motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

general

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Comments (31)

by sufferingsonje 24 Sep 2008

Ok it is a good laugh. But its like walking on thin ice. lol *4u

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by modo 23 Sep 2008

ha ha ha *

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by katydid 23 Sep 2008

No man has ever sat down in the middle of the night, in the dark on the toilet thinking the seat was down. Admit it ladies!!! Apologies are not accepted.

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by gerryvb 23 Sep 2008

I think my husband agrees with you. and for me : I think it's fun , you made me laugh!

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by grannyo 23 Sep 2008

lol Thanks for the laughs. I have to share this with my husband. :-) *4u

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by colonies1 23 Sep 2008

I liked the kettle with a man boiling..........cute. Flowers for you Eric.,

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by clawton 23 Sep 2008

Good one Eric. I can see this way of thinking in men. My husband would really love this but don't think I'll share it. Thanks for sharing with us. You are a brave man!!! :):):)

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by gramsbear 23 Sep 2008

Thanks Eric my DH and I both liked that one!

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by sqdancer 23 Sep 2008

Now aren't you getting frisky Eric...LOL...nice one...always good for a laugh....xxx

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by celticlady1031 23 Sep 2008

Wich #1 do I answer first! If Christopher Columbus had asked for directions he would have landed in the right place. I have to agree with most of the women here and say.... Eric you know where the sheets & couch are.... Enjoy. It's a good laugh and a nice try. LOL
Mickey

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by blhamblen 23 Sep 2008

OH You ARE a Brave Man...Hope the couch at your house isn't lumpy..or maybe it should be lumpy..you won't want to "camp out" that often:)

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by bonita1313 23 Sep 2008

Eric--You are "SPECIAL"!!

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by stitchship 23 Sep 2008

I am safe! My husband rarely gets on-line... no chance he will read this! My goodness! Some of these are impossible! Sorry Eric, by now you have been overruled! But it was a pretty good try! LOL * And who has ever heard of a woman having too many shoes!

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by quiltgrama 23 Sep 2008

Cute Eric wont show to dh he would agree fully. But you made me laugh for the day. Have a great one.

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by tolgamum 23 Sep 2008

Both hubby and I laughed over this - see I even let him read it! However.... he said you're a brave man posting this in a predominantly female site and asks how often you "camp out"??

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by mops Moderator 23 Sep 2008

Very funny, and such a well balanced view..

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by wendymay60 23 Sep 2008

Thankyou for this Eric. Will send this to my Hubbie at work. (at a minesite) no dought he will print it out & post on the notice board. *4u

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by salsabil 23 Sep 2008

I'm a lucky girl my boys don't know this rules (-;

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by workbecky 23 Sep 2008

Eric, this is wonderful. But since I am a women and men NEED a woman's help--I have to point out that Christopher Columbus may not have received directions but he didn't end up where he planned to go so MAYBE a woman SHOULD have given him directions. Thanks for a wonderful laugh. Becky

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by marjialexa Moderator 23 Sep 2008

Hilarious, and perfectly true!! I think I liked the one about Sunday sports the best, hee hee hee. Thank you Eric, you made my day! Marji

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by lbrow 22 Sep 2008

Eric this is hilarious, I grew up n an era when women were just suppose to cook, clean house & have babies. they weren't suppose to have an opinion, Hubby said"I say it & that's the way it is" wife said,"yes dear" Boy we have come a long way baby. *4u

2 comments

by katydid 22 Sep 2008

A men!!

by nonmusicmom 23 Sep 2008

Yes we have and most of the time it's a good thing.

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by michele921 22 Sep 2008

This is great I agree but if it was that easy we wouldn;t me women and you wouldn't be men LOL take it as part of life ,learn, live and be happy!! just always remember there is nothing that bad you have to fight about it, go to bed sleep it off and wake up loving the other in the morning lol

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by adelmarie 22 Sep 2008

I will like to say it was funny but, then I will be lying!!! lol

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by mpo14011 22 Sep 2008

FUNNY, ERIC!!!!I won't show this to hubby, he'll agree!!!!!! I just can't win!

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by dkjack 22 Sep 2008

Thanks a lot Eric! You made my DH's day. I have a feeling I'm going to regret reading this to him. :)

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by oldandgrey 22 Sep 2008

Nice try but you are well outnumbered on this one

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by jrob Moderator 22 Sep 2008

I'm just going to say, "O.K., dear.";)

1 images:[1]

1 comment

by marymoore 22 Sep 2008

lol good one jrob

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by tabsolom 22 Sep 2008

Your just looking for trouble, hehe *4u

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by marymoore 22 Sep 2008

good one i guess u like this pic lol

1 images:[1]

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by blackie 22 Sep 2008

Very clever Eric - can't say agree ON ANY OF THEM but very clever and it gave me some insight into how u men think (like i didn't know already). It is so true Men are from MARS and women are from VENUS, but i am glad you had the B---S to post this on this site and i am still laughing my head off - Sorry Eric CHICKS RULE!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha! I think u deserve a bunch of rotten eggs and tomatoes for this one (and a * if i have to ) hahahahahaha! LOL-Blackie. PS> How often do u "GO camping"???? ha!!!!!

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by bikermomfl 22 Sep 2008

Silly boy if you actually try to use these answers you will only get in trouble. We make the rules, we change the rules, we are the rules, now be a good boy and take out the trash! (hahahahaha) :-)