so lazy, shutting myself off from everyone because i can't be bothered???? Mental illness causes so much pain and anguish, and isn't talked about because u feel so disgusted in yourself. I think i need to ask all you beautiful people for a bit of prayer and loving. My problems are minimal to what i have been reading lately on this site, i try to convince myself to snap out of it, but tonight have conceded and taken a damn pill to see if it will help me get back on track. Most people don't understand mental illness unless they have experienced it themselves. Please i need a hug. Sorry to dump this on such a great site but thought i would give it a try and see if i can reap the benefits of such wonderful caring cuties.

Here is a big {{{hug}}} from me.I know what you are feeling .I was at the point one time i wanted to die .I prayed and prayed and God answered my prayers now I say God I can not handle this you do it for me and let it go and he does.We have a awesome God.

Here is a hug from me...if the doctor gave you pills for it please take them as instructed. It is not a sin if you take them. They will help and there is no sense in being miserable if you don't have to. I took them for years and was very glad to have them. I pray that you get better.

I have only just found your post, at the time of your posting I was in the thick of making things and cards for craft tables and didn't visit cute everday
I know a little of what you are going through - though I hope by now you are finding coping a little easier. Here in Uk at this time of year it's dark at 4.15pm and doesn't get light much before 8.45am. I feel like sleeping all the time, feel very lethargic - it takes me forever to do even basic housework etc, don't want to be bothered by anything or anybody. I've put on a lot of weight over the past 3 years since I've been retired which has made me unhappy too.
I've just managed to stay off the tabs for the past 3 years, it hasn't been easy, but I have succumbed to too much wine.(not the answer as alchohol is depressive)
My exhusband used to laugh at me when I was in tears when I couldn't cope with looking after 4 children and him and my very down days - his sympathy was he would say "pull yourself together". My doctor was no help either and it wasn't till I changed my GP I received some treatment.At that time I was suffering quite badly during the menopause and had reached the end of my tether and would have ended it very easily.

You shouldn't feel disgusted with yourself,depression is just another illness and because the symptoms arent physical it's not easy for others who don't or haven't suffered to understand it - you are very brave to air this and judging by others replies, they have suffered in in their own way too

By setting yourself very small simple goals each day you will find you strt to feel much better about yourself. Start by just going out for a walk and enjoy what is around you, just a few minutes in fresh air will help. Try to eat healthily and get restful sleep. Take those pills if they help take the edge off and help you cope in the short term, they wont be for ever anyway. I've taken St. John's Wort in the past during the winter months, but if you decide to try it please check it is compatible with any other medication you use.

With all the support,love and affection from us all here you will come through this bleak period. Hugs Jo

A personal question where abouts in Melbourne are you I live in South Australia in a town called Balaklava I have a msn account and if you want we can talk on that let me know on butch-carol@hotmail.com through email and I will add you, we could be a great support for each other, and we have a couple of things in common, like this deppression and also love embroidery and this site,

I know exactly how you feel , it is a TABOO subject but if oly more people would understand it, It is nothing to be ashamed of as It isnt our fault, it is a diasese and as my Phscoligist told me it is like any other diease (eg diabetics, heart etc) it is not choosy who it affects. I have learnt some wonderful techniques to stay on top. PLEASE try and think of all the good things, look after number one for a while and dont worry about what people think, as this can make things worse. If you have a caring family eg: hubby kids etc talk to them and let them know how you are feeling, some times this can help.... I am thinking of you AND here is your HUGS Carol....

Blackie it is now December 28th..and I have only now read your message of pain and depression.......I still do not know how to use this site properly i.e. can never find answers to my questions so I hope you get this. All I can tell you is..I went through depression so badly in my late 20's and early 30's that I would have been happy to be dead OR SO I THOUGHT. I AM not a religious person but I am not one to say I do not believe in God...because I sure as hell saw the Devil...in those moments of worst depression I swear I saw him..I was so terrified that even the hands on the clock moving were the worst fear.. I slept and slept and slept....and for years I suffered this dibilitating fear.......this year I celebrated my 65th birthday...and now I look back on those years as a total waste of time and my energy that could have been used so much better........so how does this help you now?
have you ever heard the expression idle hands are the Devils work? well let me tell you for me the answer is / was to get busy....read a great book GET OUT OF THE HOUSE surround yourself with interesting things, hobbies, people and do not do NOT spend one moment feeling scared or sorry for yourself......Prayer may work for some but God helps those who help themselves and with knowledge and action you will repair your broken heart and life...study, read, and do not depend on others to fill your time.....YOU must learn to love yourself. and if need be to be selfish. doing what you think other people want will never make you happy and will not make them happy either. Guilt is the most wasted emotion. Take charge and be the person who is trying to get out...the internal conflict is what depletes your strength.......learn to know who you are...whether it is a horoscope ....learn your sign.. and how you tick... get in touch with God from inside yourself....walk by the Ocean if you can water and the sound of water is healing...when you pray Pray for the strenght of positive thinking all is within you you and you alone have the power to change this pain. I can tell you it does go away and only if you want it badly enough...everytime that fear starts to take hold..visulize it as an evil being......and do not let it get you do not let it in...get outside listen to the birds and see the sun. and even on a gray day......realize that it is the beauty of life.............you are not alone many of us have trodden this rocky rocky road.........I don't know why we have these trials but you will be a better person when you come out of the other side of it......also take Vitamins....many physical needs can manifest themselves in mental disorder so do everything to make your body clean and healthy.....NO Aspartame..it is in all kinds of thing....diet cola ...sugar free gum....yoghurt. read lables and heal yourself.......it can be done and you can do it..................with a mental hug and assuring you YOU will win over this challenge and come through.......
A friend.........................

hope it helps you could write this down,big hug for you as a support.

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Blackie, There is some wonderful advice given here by all your loving friends. I too suffer from depression, it got so bad that at times I thought about ending my life. I got help with medicine, it did take a couple of weeks for it to take effect, but I felt so much better afterward. Not being depressed feels great! After taking the meds for about 4 years, with the help of my doctor, I was able to stop taking them, so far I have been doing well. I have been off of them for 5 years now. I still have the occasional bout of depression, but they are gone in a day or two. Depression is a serious illness and taking meds can help you tremendously. Please talk to your doctor about this. You are in my prayers.

I hope this note finds you in better spirits today. Remember one day at a time and one small craft. Maybe try to feel inspired by a book or magazine. I have found that even flipping through a cook book or craft mag helps. Or you can write down how you are feeling in a notebook. That helped me after my best friend was killed. I could not do anything. It will get better. Just remember you are loved.

It is an illness, and it is okay to admit you need help... you know whats wrong and thats a start, a big start. Talk to your doc, pills are not always the answer but i know they have made a huge difference in my daughters life. She is much happier and back to her old self now that she has and stays on anti-depressants. Being down and anxious and not wanting to live life is no way to live. Hugs to you and things do get better. :-)

Big hugs,sorry have just read your post i know it has been a couple of weeks. If i get down in the dumps,i search why, it is normaly something very uninportant to anyone else except me. Example if the ironing is not done,i realy hate ironing but hate it not done. The best cure is to get stuck into it then i feel better. The answer is search to find what has caused you to be sad and sort it out. Big hugs

sending you a hug and letting you know you aren't alone. even though i battle this at times (some times worse than others) i always seem to manage to have hope that God will always see me through it and He does. you are in my prayers and i want to say that you are one step ahead of me because i have always tried to hide my depression from everyone when i'm having a hard time with it but you have stepped out of it and asked for support and that is really good. i hope it helps to know we all care.
carla

Blackie, I think most of us can really understand what you're going through... I too often get depression... to the point I just wish GOD would end my life... it really hits me during the time I have my "cycle" very badly... BUT... one thing GOD showed me that convicted my heart is this:

When we become depressed, we are focusing on ourselves... we are feeling based creatures, but we are not to act on feelings...does that make sense? I'm preaching to the choir... I need to be reminded of this myself. I don't know if you have a relationship with the LORD, but that is your first step. Without knowing the creator, the creation dies. Next is to praise Him. The more you praise GOD, the more He pulls you closer to Himself... where there is light, there is no darkness.

In the middle of sadness, praise Him.
In the middle of grief, praise Him.
In your darkest hour, praise Him.

Satan and his buddies cannot hang around when GOD's presence is there... GOD loves you Blackie... so very much! He is calling you out of darkness and into his marvelous light. You have so much to PRAISE GOD for... He desires YOU my darling.. my dear new friend... YOU... He created YOU to be His pleasure. YOU to be someone He can shower with love... He can wipe away any sadness, take away any pain. Will you let him?

Take your meds my friend... but seek the One that loves you more than anything...the one that knew you before the foundation of the earth.

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by mariahail 10 Dec 2008

Tery, you are so sweet, great words. Suffering from depresion is like any other illness, but sometime people don;t understand what we are going thru, please talk to your doctor about it, and pray, pray a lot.Love.

Here is your hug from me. You are in my thoughts. This is certainly the place to post it. You are not alone that is for sure.

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by blackie 03 Dec 2008

so kind of u michelej - so many wonderful people who care! Love Dianne

This totally amazes me to find such a wonderful group of ladies many of which are suffering the same problems. You are all very supportive and full of love for all the cuties. I have depression and anxiety attacks have tried almost all the meds and am super sensative to most of them. I have been good for about 9 months now because I am taking a high dose of Omega 3 pharmacutical grade was able to lower my celexa to 1/2 daily from 1 1/2. Still have bad days but can get myself out if i go for walk in sun or spend time with grand daughter she is my love. Husband is usually supportive but gets frustrated sometimes cause he thinks I can just snap out of it. I want to thank all the cuties for the support it is very helpful. I send my love to all here and a great big Hug to. LOL (lots of love) Lisa

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by blackie 03 Dec 2008

Seems like we are not the only ones - just astounding to see so many have the same problem. This is the best therapy and i feel i can express myself best in writing, glad to hear that you are feeling better and i send my love back to u with big hugs - Dianne

First and most important here is your big hug and I will put you in my prayers.You have gotten alot of great advice and you always have all us Cuties, so you never have to be alone.XXX N ***

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by blackie 01 Dec 2008

For this i am truly grateful , my love to you dgrammy

by dgrammy 03 Dec 2008

You can come get a big ahug from me anytime you need one,my love and hugs to you dear friend.

Everyone gets depressed at some point in their life. its nothing to be ashamed of. I went through a period of time where I felt rock bottom. Kept asking the LORD what was wrong with me and why I couldn't do anything right. On the way home a beautiful song came on telling how Jesus was by our side all the way, just don't turn away. Slowly
I am working on getting my act together. I don't socialize very well with others, but I am now volunteering at church and getting to know more people. I found this site and have just loved reading everyones inspiring heartfelt replies. PLEASE surround yourself in GOD'S warmth, and beautiful people that are caring and thoughtful. I find that watching TV, and certain music tends to bring you down without you realizing it until you change the types of shows and music you listen to. I am starting to get back on track with myself and hope you will find the right answer and help you need. I believe that sunshine is definetly a good thing for us. Being in the morning sunshine is the best for you. You will start your day off better, and the rays are not quite as harmful..Many many prayers are going to you from alot of people. Even if you don't answer ddaily, just reading here is like medicine to the soul....

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by blackie 30 Nov 2008

Faith will get us thru, and all you beautiful people - thankyou - Dianne

Dearest Blackie Meganne is right on top of things, Have read all the way through. Depression is very prevalent, it takes moxie to stand up & tell the world "hey I'm depressed" I've bn a nurse for many yrs & seen so much of it & many people don't even realize that depression is their problem, Others will say "OH snap out of it" but as Meg says it is caused by a chemical imbalance. Many of us at some time in our lives have suffered from depression. I know I've been there. Take your medicine it will help. My hubby has to take meds 4 depression, I recognized that was some of his problem, told the Dr. & now the depression is better. We care about u I hope u can see that & recognize that u r not alone. Not all meds work the same way on everyone, & sometimes they have to try several ones before they find the right combination 4 u. Sometimes group therapy helps but I do believe you're getting some of that right here, Just not in person. I will put u on my prayer list, Just do what u have already done here. Talk to us. Lillian

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by blackie 29 Nov 2008

Dea Lillian, you're a darlin' - this info coming from a nurse and experienced it yourself makes u see things from post perspectives. I have tried group therapy and found myself feeling for the others in the group and coming home crying my eyes out for the frustration that the others in the group had serious serious problems to cause them to fall into depression - but i had no reason i could think of. Life hands u all challenges - some good and some not so good. I have already been blessed with good of sorts, just by coming and talking to all you beautiful people - i love u all, and my sincere thanks for your posting LOL - Dianne

our cute friend, you are not alone on this I have been suffering for years now and at the begining of the year I had a break down and did some thing that I wouldnt normally do and found my self facing the courts, I have just been back to court and the out come was not in favour of me, I got two years good behavior bond 1000 fine and the (B*#dh) that tried taking my hubby got nothing. I am having a bad day today but I have learnt to take one day at a time....... We can be support to others as they can with us.Most people don't understand mental illness unless they have experienced it. Here is a big hug and please keep intouch

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by blackie 29 Nov 2008

Dear mollymarie - i am sorry to read your post - some situations cause you to react how u wouldn't normally react - i don't like anyone in my life tha has caused me previous heartache and then u end up not trusting anyone and totally closing yourself off to avoid being hurt again. I am learning quickly tht not everyone is out to hurt you. Big hugs back and lovely to chat with you - Dianne

Diane, how I admire you for saying something about this - you have gotten some great advice and by now - have decided - so my putting my two cents worth in this late in the day - will not help - but I do want to send you my love and prayers - I have days that I feel some what like you are talking about - from time to time, too. I have been ill for several weeks - been to the doctor and have found nothing wrong - to date - but they ran more test today. I have others that I have to care for and I have to bring myself to a level that I can be there for them - care giving is difficult on it's best day - to watch another go through so much pain and depression from their illnesses - I also live in a basement apartment and some of what Debbie said rings true for me - when I think about not getting out in the sun-light - this is a hard topic to cover - but you have made it available for others to reach out to you and for you and you back to them and for them. Isn't that marvelous? I am giving you a big hug ((((((((((((((Diane))))))))))))) and I will be praying for you daily. Keep us updated on your progress.

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by blackie 29 Nov 2008

Shirlener, thankyou for your support and honesty and love and prayers, you have no idea what a lift this gives me - selflish on my part, but noone can have or give enough love to another. You sound like u are going thru hard times with your health and sincerely hope that the Drs get to the bottom of your problem. You sound like a very caring and loving person, caring for others who are ill, are these family members? I send you my love back in a big bundle. PLease keep me posted on your health. LOL - Blackie

by shirlener88 29 Nov 2008

Diane, the doctor's office called today and said everything was ok - so whatever I have isn't showing up in their test. Good news, but still don't have any idea of what is going on - my DH went and bought the whole apartment new lighting, as I shared what was posted here - who knows in a day or two - I will have a brighter outlook on everything - I know I can see my embroidery work alot better. Hehehe!

by meganne 29 Nov 2008

Shirlene, may I just add that you might benefit from taking Vitamin D3, The Sunshine Vitamin as lack of sunshine has been linked with depression, especially in countries that have long, bleak, sunless seasons. It was also on Oprah recently. But also sending you love for looking after your Mum (i also know) must be very hard on you. I'm getting a break 2 days a week now and it's like someone lifted the world off my shoulders. hugs n blessings, dear friend,
M

by blackie 29 Nov 2008

Great news shirlener - however u need an explanation of why you aren't feeling good? You really crack me up (make me laugh) with your wit - so at least the lighting makes you see your embroidery work better. I really admire all your beautiful work and am still tryin to work out my FSL dilemma - haven't been in the mood the last few days. I find if the machine gives me grief i have to walk away from it. I'll try again in a couple of days XXXOOO

by shirlener88 28 Dec 2008

Meg, I will look for that V D3 - thanks. Diane, I do hope by now you have attempted FSL or have an idea of what your dilemma is. I love it and will be happy to help you in anyway that I can - hope you are having better days by now - update us - if you wouldn't mind.

by marjialexa 30 Dec 2008

Shirlene, have they checked for food allergies? They can produce psychological symptoms too, not just hives. PM me if you want more info, I've had them for years. Marji

Hi I am going through the same thing at the moment. Doctors have me trying so many different drugs to find one that helps and I find the confusion and lack of energy really getting me down and now my blood preasure has gone right down which is the worst thing as it makes me light headed and dizzy. Tried to vacuum last night and fell over and had to wait for neighbour to help me get off the floor People ask are you OK but don't want to hear if you say something is wrong. People seem to think you should just bounce back but it is not that easy

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by blackie 29 Nov 2008

So sorry to hear this raels, funny that you should mention dizziness. I have had a few bouts of that the last few months - even when lying down in bed. Not blood pressure but put it down to vertigo. Never had this condition before in my life - maybe its all tied in together. Have been given eye exercises and it helps. Not good to hear that you fell and had to get help to get up off the floor, very distressing for u - I am thinking of you and thanks for your response LOL - Blackie

I know how you feel. My Dad has suffered from depression that I know of since 1991 when he was diagnosed with macular degeneration. He has been tryed on at least 30 different meds. I know the last 6 since because I had to do his meds after my Mom died of cancer in 2002. He has been hospitalized 3 different since then. The last one was Efexor and the dose that works for him is 37.5mg. The doctor in the nursing home thought Dad didn't need it any more and took him off it. They soon found out that it is for him, and it took 2 months before he was better.
Last year when I started not enjoying activities that I normaly do. Long story short I am now on Citalopram 20 mg.
after thinking I could get out of the rut that I was stuck in by my self. I don't know if it's because of my age, time in my life, or if I am my Fathers daughter but consider this a great big hug from me. I have not told anyone that till now so take heart. I xxxxxxxxx you.

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by blackie 29 Nov 2008

Hi Liz and firstly welcome to this beautiful site with the most beautiful people on this earth!!!! And now you are one of those beautiful people!!!! Sounds like you are going thru very tough times yourself at the moment, don't keep it to yourself, you need people to give u the love and support you so deserve. You'll get heaps of that from here on this cute site. How lucky are we! I have heard of citalopram (friend recommended) it but haven't talked to GP about it yet. My father was a very depressed man, and i am hitting 50 next year so change of life and all that stuff may have a bearing on all of this - maybe like yourself more than we realise. Keep contact and keep your chin up LOL - Blackie

by liz26 02 Dec 2008

It has taken about 6 weeks to feel myself again. Having had to deel with my Dad I didn't want to get as bad as he did. I just turned 47 so I know what you are talking about. Yes, this site is woderful. I am soo happy I found it last year when I didn't feel like doing anything. I havn't been chatting much but have learned lots reading all the comments. I don't remember how I found this site. From the first moments on here I knew I had found something great. It has become somewhat of an addicteion I have to check out whats happening everyday if I can't get here every day I feel like I am missing out on a good thing.

by blackie 03 Dec 2008

I like you don't put mcuh input into this site - not as knowledgable as everyone here in regards to sewing etc. But it is a must that i come on here daily to check things out and se what is happening. I love the projects area and love to get ideas from there - some very talented people out there thats for sure! So glad to hear that u are feeling better and my love is sent to u in abundance - Dianne

Please don't try to deal with this by yourself. Marji and Meganne have given you good advise, so I'll only add a little about what has helped me. I suffer from SAD and found it helps to go to a tanning salon once or twice a week in the winter months (in Erie sometimes that's 6 months of the year) building up to no more than 8 minutes so not to get the bad effects of tanning. I also have full-spectrum lighting in most of the lights in my house, they are worth the price. In addition I up my vitamin D, as recommended by my doctor. Most of all don't isolate yourself. As hard as it is to do, get out of the house, or at least call someone who doesn't mind chatting on the phone for hours. Marji and I use our headsets and talk for hours, we get more done that way than just sitting home alone.

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by blackie 28 Nov 2008

Please tell me what SAD is, is that a vitamin D deficiency? Thank you for your reply and will try to take your advise on board to help myself LOL _ Dianne

by debleerl 28 Nov 2008

I'm glad you're laughing. SAD is Seasonal Affective Disorder. Most people who get a mild version call it Cabin Fever. It's a type of depression that's believed to be caused by not getting enough sunlight. We create our own vitamin D when we're in the sun. However, in recent years we've been told the sun is not healthy for our skin, so now people cover up and lather on sun screen which prevents us from absorbing the sunlight we need to create the vitamin D. Now doctors are finding out we need the sunlight. I've never doubted we do, we just shouldn't overdo it and get sunburned. I could go on and on, but I know I feel better when I can get outside every day. Most of the information I've found suggests we need only 8 - 20 minutes of sunlight a day. Tanning beds are to intense, so I limit myself to 8 minutes.

by blackie 29 Nov 2008

I've heard of vitamin D deficiency thru sunlight. I cannot think of tanning bed as a solution as i am so against this due to skin cancer (seriously dangerous stuff i think) so be very careful please please! LOL - Dianne

by meganne 29 Nov 2008

Sitting in the sun just 15 minutes a day is supposed to be enough for your body's requirements or Take vitamin D3 with Magnesium... Straight from Dr OZ
hnr, M

by blackie 29 Nov 2008

Hi meaganne - hope u r feeling better and i will try what u suggest XXXXX and OOOOOO to u

by debleerl 30 Nov 2008

There's not much sunshine here from October to April, so the tanning bed is my only alternative. I'm very careful, I only go once or twice a week at the most and never more than 8 minutes. Also, I'm fortunate to have a skin type that doesn't burn easily. Thank you all for your concern.

by meganne 01 Dec 2008

My DH, (Ray) lost his first wife to Melanoma all from a small mole on her leg and that she loved to be tanned. From diagnoses to her death was less than 2 years as they could not stop the cancer from spreading through her body to her brain.
PLEASE don't sunbake as Tanning beds have been proven to also cause melanoma.
And it has nothing to do with burning, browning, length of time tanning, it is purely the body's reaction to the UV Rays. The results of which, i believe, are cumulative.

Australia has the highest incidence of Melanoma so we are all very aware of the dangers here. Now!
hugs, Meganne

I too am on meds for depression; have been for many years now. You must take your meds for 2-3 weeks before they start to work. You can't "grin and bear it" and only take them when you feel you need to. They are not magic pills, it takes time for them to build up in your system enough to correct the chemicals in your brain. Please work with your doctor and find a medication or medications that work for you. Once you get stabilized you will feel "human" again! The worst part about depression is that you don't feel like doing anything, even going to the doctor. But please, get help and stick to the meds until they start working. Taking each dose at the proper time and every day is the only way to get better. As you can see by all the posts, you are not alone. And doctors today look at depression as a medical condition, not a mental one. There's no shame in having depression. The only shame is not getting treated properly for it. Hugs for you.

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by blackie 29 Nov 2008

sweet ibht2k2 you have given some very sound advise hear and i hear what u are saying. So do you really feel different? I hope that works for me too. You feel horrible with the stigma attached to mental illness, however as proven here on this posting we are "normal" people just struggling with life. I believe caring people seem to be the ones that suffer this illness - i may be wrong but thats how i feel. I am always worrying about everyone else and what they are going thru, maybe to focus off my troubled past - who knows, but counselling didn't help me 5 years ago really. Everyone is different i guess. Thanks for your advice and i send u hugs back tenfold - Dianne

by ibht2k2 01 Dec 2008

Counseling never helped me either. It IS a medical disorder. The meds really do make a huge difference. I am on Paxil and welbutrin, so it took both to stabalize me. One drawback is that Paxil can be habit forming for some. But the cost is very reasonable because there is now a generic brand, and the benefits far outweighs the side effects. I was able to go back to work and have a normal life again. It is soooooo worth it. There's too much in life to enjoy, Go for the gusto! And believe in yourself once again.
xxooxx

Dear friend, although this won't help your situation, please know, you are NOT alone, And there is no shame in admitting you are suffering from depression, though i will confess I cried as I asked my GP for help, because i too felt embarrassed and ashamed that i was not coping and going through all the things you have just described. Yes, me, the commedienne, the strong one,,,, NOT.
*******Depression is caused by an imbalance in chemicals in the brain!!!! TRUE!!!!!!! ******

i didn't believe it either until my brother convinced me to seek professional help. You cannot 'snap' out of it! because it is a medical condition.

I hope this will help you, my GP prescribed Efexor XR 75mg, though i don't know if they will be called the same where you live.

Please visit the link below and then seek professional help. If you had a headache, wouldn't you take a painkiller to ease it?
hugs n blessings dear friend, prayers will not help you with this, but you CAN help yourself and I will be here for you if you need to talk. love, support and understanding is what i can give you, Meganne

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by blackie 28 Nov 2008

Dearest Meaganne, u sound just like me and it does make it a little easier knowing that i am not alone. U hit the nail on the head when u said that u cried when asking yu GP for help. Same here, my dear husband just doesn't understand and is trying to but as i said u don't understand what its like unless u have suffered thru it. My Gp gave me a script for Efexor about 2 months ago, but stubborn me decided not to go back on pills. But the other night when i posted this i was really rock bottom and popped one - i know it will take at least 2 weeks before i see some change hopefully, last time - 5 years ago i was on 75mg plus 25mg (highest doseage). This time i am trying for just the 75mg. Today is a better day becuase i know there are so many like yourself that truly do care and support someone else thru difficult times because u know first hand what it is like. My heatfelt thanks to u for caring and being so open about your own personal experience LOL - Dianne

by shirlener88 29 Nov 2008

Meg, is this yet another avatar - how on earth are we to know who you are if you keep changing???? Hehehe!

by meganne 29 Nov 2008

My bottom was sore from sitting on the rocker, besides it was making me nauseous. I'll probably change it again as my fairy has lost her sparkle.... LOL!
hugs n roses, n keep smiling, M

How brave you are to share here with us. I have not myself had to deal with clinical depression, but I have had dear friends who have and I know that it is not something you can snap your fingers and have go away or get better. I have been told the pills make you feel bad, too....Until you find the ones that actually made you feel a little better. It is difficult to find the right fit, but please persevere. Your doctor will not give up and you don't either. I promise I am praying for you right now and will continue to keep you in my prayers. Try this hug on for size.;)

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by blackie 29 Nov 2008

This is one very special hug dear jrob and i take it with open arms, thankyou for your concern and understanding - i send u my love - Dianne

something told me to go to personals and now i see why yes depression sucks i am manic depressed and know the feeling so please keep your chin up that is what i do as far as meds i dont take any i have not found one to work at all but if you have one that works for u then please keep taking it

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3 comments

by blackie 27 Nov 2008

I knew u would understand what its like from previous posts u have done mary. What is the difference between bipolar and normal depression - do u know. Do u get angry with yourself, can't focus on any one thing and so agitated all the time? I send my heartfelt thanks to u for replying and understanding. It is very important to me LOL - Dianne

by marymoore 27 Nov 2008

angry with myself is not the word sometimes i dont know if i am coming or going it is like that with manic depression you are up sky high one minute and then the next you are so low you want to crawl in a hole and hide i really do understand and i know i am not the only depressed person in the world but it is hard to deal with it sometimes agood cry also helps just hang in there if you ever need anything my email is still in my profile i am a good chatter lol

by marjialexa 28 Nov 2008

Oh, Mary, I used to be the host of a Classical Music program on a PBS radio station!! I just love your saying!! I have to go play with flowers, be back later. M

Oh, Blackie, I hear you!! Depression is difficult at best, and you can't "just snap out of it"! You can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps, because you have no bootstraps. I know this first hand. Please take your medication. If that one doesn' work, try another one and another one till you find one that does. My doctor & I worked very hard at this till we found something that made a dent in the darkness. True clinical depression is a disruption, a chemical imbalance in the brain, and you need to use something to get the balance back to normal. Will power won't do it. I know, I fight this battle every day, and most days lately I lose, too. If you have any kind of support system at all, take advantage of it. I wish to God I did not have to spend every day all day alone, company would go a long way to healing. It's hard to look forward, when there's nothing to look forward to, except more of the same aloneness. If anyone is willing to help you, take them up on it. Go to a movie, talk, laugh, go shopping. Let people give you a hand up, one day, one hour at a time. I'm giving you a big cyber-hug right now!! I surely wish I could do more, because I do really understand how it feels. Luv ya, Marji

2 comments

by blackie 27 Nov 2008

Oh Marji you dear sweet person - i know what u have been going thru and my heart aches for u, as a said i have no real problems yet i feel this way - to me you are so justified in the way u are feeling. This is what i mean whn i say cutes are such a caring community - i see all the love being given out and it is just amazing. I have been told that i should try other meds as i don't feel these are doing anything. I hear what u are saying and am listening and will try to take this very sound advise. I admire u and really appreciate u posting this message and i sincerely luv ya back tenfold - Dianne

by meganne 28 Nov 2008

Marji, I am with you always and Dianne, I am also someone who had no reason to be depressed, especially since I found my darling Ray 4 years ago and I should be on top of the world. But i have suffered with this, on and off all my life. Imagine me, super intelligent, with a 160 plus IQ, I wouldn't accept i needed help to cope with this, I kept thinking I should be strong enough and smart enough to "get off it"
Finally, when my brother said i was unbearable to be with or even to talk to, i realised how low i had sunk, and yes i now know I have a form of Manic depression, (now called Bi-polar disorder) super highs, super lows, that can last for hours, days, weeks, months or even years, like this last time. I have read masses of medical articles now and understand that there are varying degrees of this disorder and many, many, many, people who suffer their whole lives before they seek the medical help that is required.
Please visit beyond blue website, it will really help you understand how widespread this human condition is and that there are sometimes 'triggers' that set it off.
For me this last bout started about 5 years ago when my second husband and one of my two closest friends both died. This was closely followed by the deaths of another 7 loved ones, then My Darling Mumsie and my Closest friend of over 50 years, who coincidentally, shared the same birthdate. My Mumsie died very suddenly and six months later, to the exact date and exact time, my best friend left me.
I should have realised, long before i did, that i was on a downward spiral, when four years later i still sobbed uncontrollably when i thought about my best friend and my Mum.

It has only been with the help of my GP making me look backwards for the triggers, and the meds he has prescribed and being able to come here to my Cute family where i have found love and support and a reason to be, by helping others the only way I can.

And while i am being brutally honest I have to tell you that I have been scared to make new friends because I could not bear to face the pain of caring so much only to lose them.
M

Here is a big hug!!!!!!!
Now for a bit of a lecture, sorry. If you are suffering from depression you must take your pills. It is awful, but you must. They should get you back on track. And have a look at the website, Beyond Blue.They will help.
Another big hug.

1 comment

by blackie 27 Nov 2008

Thanks so much mpo14011. I have slowly been creeping back to this state for about the past 12 months. The first bout i had was back 5 years ago when i cared for my dear motherinlaw for 2 years who had MND. The doc says it can recur when i saw him about 2 months ago and he wrote a script for me but i have seen and read info about meds not doing anything for depression, so tried to battle on and snap out of it but unfortunately it isn't that easy as i have found out. Thanks so much for your concern and love the hugs.