SHOPPING FOR MEN
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. "By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3:
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99- cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4:
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6:
Do not buy a man any of those fancy coffees. If you do, they will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Rule #7:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
Rule #8:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10:
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
Rule #11:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12:
Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
Rule #13:
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #14:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
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My first time looking in this part of cuties, and this not only funny, but true. Just wondering if you are from Mich. and if so what part?
1952That IS funny, but my DH and I fight over WHOSE tool it is. Don't know if I ever mentioned it or not, but I am a CRL (certified registered locksmith). I can use ALL of those tools and then some.;)
1 comment
by shirlener88
05 Jan 2009
Oh my Jerrilyn, I had no idea - what a great thing for you to be, as well as all the others - that you are and do. Hehehe!
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32767Very very funny... and so true !!! Thanks Shirlene lol
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200127This is funny Shirlene, except my husband I both have power tools and just about every concievable wrench, socket and hand tool imaginable. I won a DeWalt 7 piece cordless tool set, for some reason my hubby thinks it's his, he hides the battery packs from me so I can't use it!
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62461Want to know the funny thing? My husband doesn't own a single power tool. They are all mine. I'm not even sure he would know how to use one! I have a pair of drills, a huge variety of drill bits and sockets, wrenches galore, multiple screwdrivers, power sander, and so forth. My honey isn't even the one who purchased them. I had to do that myself as well. :) The ladder is mine, the wheelbarrow is mine, most of the rope is mine, and we don't even own a barbecue grill. I got hubby socks and games for his holiday gifts this year, and he loved it all. Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!
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6653Oh, how funny Shirlene!! But I must say, my late DH was a computer guru, and tools of any kind were his worst enemy. The man knocked himself senseless with a simple hammer trying to hang a picture. Needless to say, when he picked up a power tool, I had the phone in my hand with 911 on the speed dial. BUT, replace tools with computer parts, and the whole thing still works. I would buy him the nuttiest things, but if they said "computer", or anything close on them, he was thrilled. Some of them are still in the drawer. No one knows why. Hee hee hee, Merry Christmas!!! Marji
1 comment
33451Shirlene I started laughing immediately... a cordless drill is what I got my huny for chriastmas this year and last! He claims he needs different ones for work! LMAO
1 comment
by shirlener88
28 Dec 2008
Lisa, isn't that funny - a new one each year will keep him loving you - Hehehe!
2756This is sooooo cute. My husband has a saw for everything and yes he would love another one.
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9846Very funny but true,my DH has like 4 cordless drills and would still love a new one!
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11240Honestly Shirlene, where do you find the time between all your lovely FSL to find such gems? I'm still laughing!
When I lived in England my washing machine broke down. A new one had the high VAT percentage, 18 or 19 at the time, and the man who delivered it said to me : Isn't it a shame. You use it every day of the week with those children, but it's the luxury tariff. If your husband buys a drill, it's a tool and takes 4% VAT, even if he uses it once a year.
1 comment
by shirlener88
28 Dec 2008
Martine, I make time for humor - I have to - to keep sane - you are very funny, too!
145305can i relate to a gift for and EX husband? I needed a new hedge trimmer so made his xmas day when he unwrapped his present.
OH WOW. A BLACK AND DECKER LONG REACH HEDGE TRIMMER!
HE never used it but it sure cut the time i had to spend trimming the hedges, but, boy did he ever enjoy recieving it. No one knows why. So ladies, if you want something for yourself then simply buy it for the man in your life. YOU, get what you want and HE, gets what he thinks he should have.
THIS COMES AS A VERY CLOSE REASON AS TO WHY HE IS NOW MY EX
2 comments
by camylow
26 Dec 2008
oh my gosh that's pricless... I bought my self a chop saw and gave it to my hubby as a gift.
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