This sure has been the weirdest Christmas I've ever had.
I usually have one year of bought presents for everyone and one year of gifts I have hand made.This year was supposed to be my hand-made year but I was devastated by my embroidery machine seizing up and wasting months waiting for its return, so nothing got made.
So then I thought I would shop the last week before Christmas and enjoy all the season's festivities and get into the swing of it.
We had planned to spend one Christmas (with my grandchildren) on the 20th by driving up to my son's place and for the first time ever, my younger brother and his new fiance were going to join us. He's never even seen my grandchildren so this was something I was looking forward to sharing with him. (He's never married so has no children and had been disappointed many times when relationships broke down after most women developed jealousies because their children loved him and he doted on them (probably more than he did on them)) LOL!!!
Anyway, our second Christmas was to be (24th) when Ray's Son and Daughter brought his grandchildren over to our home to get their presents from under our tree. Usually a very brief visit as not all is Rosy between them and their Dad's (unapproved of, second wife to be) partner.
Our third Christmas was to be with my Sister and her family on Christmas day.
All this was before someone decided to throw a spanner into the works and turn our world upside down with just three words 'malignant breast cancer'.
So instead of buying turkey n pork n vegetables and presents n gift wrapping n Greeting cards, we spent our money on biopsies, scans n blood tests n some new respectable pj's.
Instead of writing out Greeting cards and wrapping presents n making stuffing n cooking glazed ham n White Christmas, etc, we spent our time going from one doctor's surgery to the next, to the hospital and the Medicare claims office, to the Chemist and back to the hospital.
But all is only, as you allow it to affect you, and despite being dragged unwillingly, away from my family and friends to face the biggest fight of my life, I refused to allow it to spoil our Christmas family time.
So with my available shopping days (between surgeries) shortened to one late shopping night on Thursday the 18th, Ray and I shopped (til i dropped) made one more (pre-operation) visit to the Surgeon, then went and shopped some more until the shops closed and I was so hungry i had to get back home to eat before my midnight fasting deadline. so we ate and while Ray wrapped gifts and labelled them, I cleaned, packed my hospital bag, embroidered an Angel Lena, wrote last minute emails to friends and pigged out on a full punnet of Rich Red fresh Cherries, (Hopefully this would be PayBack for the anaesthetist for giving me such a sore throat during the lumpectomy surgery, ten days earlier. (nyuh hah haaah!!! Dastardly Dudley laugh)
19th December -And so my Christmas gift begins, removal of the Ductal Carcinoma In Situ, which surrounded the 'invasive Grade 3 tumour', (removed 10 days earlier) removal of my underarm lymph nodes, removal of all my breast tissue and the leaky silicone implants (i had foolishly had done 30 years ago).
Then repeat the procedure on the second side, and if possible try and save my nipples on both breasts. Then the plastic surgeon will take over and try and re-shape my empty sacs of skin and insert expanders ready for later inflation with saline and hopefully (later still) replacement with (self esteem restoring) natural looking breast implants.
All this (supposedly) instantly reduces my chances of breast cancer from its current 120% probability (Oh DUR!) to a tiny 3% chance of re-occurrence.
So I arrive at the hospital (hanging for a cuppa) at 6AM. I leave for the theatre with my very distressed Sister and extremely worried DH trailing behind the surgical team procession, we say our worried good byes and I go under the anaesthetic at 8:20 am.
I'm back in my private room at 2:45 PM attended by my sister and nieces & my 'Ray of Sunshine' all standing around me with such obvious love and concern clearly visible on their faces.
Sore, groggy, hallucinating under the morphine, itching fit to bust as an allergic reaction takes over my senses and succumbing to spasmodic sleep n dream cycles and awake moments. I lay there fighting to regain my senses but longing just to sleep.
There is a numbness in my chest, a heaviness I can't fathom, I'm sore under the arms, my jaw & neck are pain zones I wish I could escape from and my tinnitus is screaming so loudly in my head i think it will drive me insane.
but tomorrow is another day.......
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I am so sorry to hear this..Stay strong YOU WILL BEAT THIS..My prayers are with you.
Love,Julie
2007Meganne I wish you the best as you recover I ent threw this 13 years ago with my mother bless her heart and I know you will do well with all the new treatments out there. My prayers are with you. Mary Lee
122Hi Meganne,
I wish you a healthy and wonderful new year. 2008 is one year I surely wish to put to rest...it can only get better....keep up your spirits and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayer....
5256Hey Meg, keeping with your sense of humor and great strength, I will put it simply...YOU GO GIRL!!! (and I love the Betty Boop-she's my favorite)...hugs and lots of support..
6578Dear Meg I have been away but thinking of you. My prayers are with you and can't wait to here you are on the way to full recovery
76409Meg, Thank you for sharing this . you brought tears to my eyes. You are blessed with so many people who love you
46645Why?
2 comments
by meganne
27 Dec 2008
Welcome to Cute family Auntie.
The answer is Breast Cancer. And I have been sharing my journey with my family in an effort to encourage everyone to be more aware and listen to their gut instincts as I had two previous wrongful diagnosies but following my instincts I saw a Third Specialist, thankfully.
As part of our Cute family, you are welcome to join in and share my "tongue in cheek" but honest, reports, or ignore them, as you wish.
Hugs n roses, keep smiling, Meg(Anne)
1819I love you, Meganne! Thanks so much for your story of hope. Marji
33451dear Meganne I see Betty Boop is showing us how strong you are.A SURE WINNER. Christmas didn't go as planned for us either my dad was hospitalised on 11/12/08 & has had 2 very very close calls.He stopped breathing on 2 occasions & had to be transferred to another hospital.He was on life support for about 5 days,& the Dr gave us the alternative to leave him on life support or let him go.He is only 65 years old, what an experience for us (devastating) BUT HE HAS PULLED THROUGH THANK GOD. & we had christmas lunch & dinner in hospital,he will be staying for quite some time now love & hugs Debbie
1 comment
by meganne
27 Dec 2008
Oh Debbie I am so happy to hear your Dad has such a fighting spirit, I pray his health will improve and he will live a long, long, life.
Sometimes these tests are sent to us (i believe) to test our resilience and see just how much we want to live. We must stay positive and fight all the way. Please give him my love and support from another Aussie Battler and tell him I wish him the best of health for the future. hugs n roses, keep smiling, Meg(anne)
4290Meg, you are one very strong Special Lady and an ispiration to me....and a valueable treasure to your family...
Just love all you wrote, keep your positive outlook it will get you through...Love from Kerry
25546Next year will be so much better for you....you get well and then plan for the year ahead....you are in my thoughts....
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3594Oh Meggie, wish I could b there & be your pvt. duty nurse. Know you r n my thoughts & prayers. I do so admiare you for your bravado & spunk. *4U
145791i can't possibly imagime what you are going through but know my thoughts and prayers are with you. i do for some reason look forward to reading your posts maybe its the nurse in me and i care or maybe its because i used someone elses experience as an assignment on cancer and is interesting to get another's perspective, thoughts and experience. Take care and know that each day WILL be better than the last hugs for you take care. :)
5120Meganne, in my book, you are one fantastic lady! You and your family are in my Prayers and I pray for a speedy healing for you. Keep your chin up. Hugs and Prayers.
92391Meganne, thanks for a wonderful and inspiring story. Get lots of rest so you can continue with chapter two. We are so glad to hear from you.
9846Hope you are not still standing up Meg while you are writing this...You are a wonder my dear, loved reading of your exploits over the past few weeks...look forward to the continuing saga..don't go over doing it now, behave yourself....big hugs G xxx
1 comment
by meganne
26 Dec 2008
Thanks G, no, Ray set up the Laptop in the bedroom for me, but i seem to doze off more easily now, so it took me several hours to write, in between snoozes LOL! hugs n roses, m
27071THANX so much for sharing..I too look fwd to chapter 2.. Don't tell anyone...but you remind me of Erma Bombeck...she had a funny for EVERY occasion..and she wrote several books. The kind ya just sit and laugh out loud. I cried alot yesterday too with and without family..It was a VERY hard and long day..BUT today is a new day..Onward and Upward:)
1 comment
by meganne
26 Dec 2008
You just gotta keep on going and keep on smiling, if you smile when you're hurting, it seems to help eaze the pain. hugs n roses, Sis, m
31942Dear Meganne thank you for your Christmas story. Take well care of you, rest...
I send to you love and hope
25533I'm sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks while you share the details of the last few days. Your strength is amazing and an inspiration. And what better Christmas present than you coming through your surgery and back in your home so soon surrounded by your loving family and able to post an update to your Cute family too. Now the worst bit is over my best wishes for a speedy recovery. I look forward the the "next instalment" in your amazing story. Your dedicated medics should have a special thanks for their skills in bringing a happy ending to this first stage in your treatment. Hugs love n *s Jo
4957I take Adelmarie words, she said so well... You are in my thoughts and prayers, Meg. Love&hugs.
88650I am so glad you have so much support with you..rest and don't exert to much...happy holidays...
34246I am happy to know that you have such a supporting family and admire your strenght and will. You are an inspiration to many of us *2U.
34304thanks for sharing your feelings and emotions, so good to read you've so much support from Ray and family.<br />hope we can be a little support too.that's why love and hugs for you!
743153Dear Meg, I'm so glad you wrote chapter one of your story. I hope you will be able to tell us in chapter two that Christmas turned out to be not the one you had planned, but one in which you experienced love, from us, from your dearly beloved Ray and the rest of your family and above all from Him whom Christmas is all about. Blessings and a very careful cyber hug, Martine
145301Hello Meqanne, so glad to see you at least being able to drop the Cuties a line (a lovely long line). Glad to hear that everything went well, and to hear you are still smiling. May God give you the power to get well soon. Keep the sunny side up, even if you have to bear pain.
We all Praying for you all the time.
Love.
15907Oh my dear Meg, I had you on my mind - several times today - wondering how you might be dealing and feeling once home - it seems to me - you have a start of a very good short story - a good tool for others - perhaps. Keep writing - more than anything - keep your sense of humor and love for Ray in your mind. Unconditional Love, Shirlene
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6653I find I do not know what to say except, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this time.
2577Meg I read yout messase and it just broak my heart .Right here at Christmas a time of joy. the surgey is over with and now the healing process. then you will be like new.it sounds like you are tking it all very well. You are a strong lady .God has belessed you in that sence ,we will all keep you in our prayers and God will take care of you .because OUR GOD IS A AWESOME GOD!!!!!!!! I have a dear school friend that i have had eversence I started to school that had them same thing done and she is the happiest person I know of.
I do not remembre when she had it done.
God Bless you dear embroidery friend.
1 comment
by meganne
26 Dec 2008
This is a HAPPY Christmas story, Lenamae. Please don't be sad.
i just got too tired to keep writing so i will continue with chapter two, tomorrow.
hugs n roses, Meganne
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