by jrob Moderator 15 Jan 2009

Twas the month after Christmas,

and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,
the chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties
had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber),

I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter, disguised as a man!"

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip.
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

tips

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Comments (18)

by asterixsew Moderator 22 Jan 2009

Thanks for this which I have just found. I think its worth printing off and putting up to look at from time to time...

1 comment

by asterixsew 24 Jan 2009

I heard this read out on the radio last night

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by sewmom 19 Jan 2009

I've been going to Jazzercise for over 26 years. I love it because I can feel like a dancer but it doesn't matter if I don't look like one. I also get lost in the music and make friends there. When a couple of pounds creep on I go 4 or 5 times a week instead of 3. Of course I got lucky/unlucky last fall. I took a new medication to get rid of migraines and it made me lose 15 pounds. I also got a little psycho so I don't recommend it. I'm not on that medication anymore so my goal now is to keep the weight off. I cut my portions in half. It's amazing how much food you really don't need. Try
Jazzercise.com and 1-800-Fit-isit in the USA to find a class near you. They are world wide. You can always modify Jazzercise moves for injuries and low impact!

1 images:[1]

1 links:[1] http://Jazzercise.com
jazzercise.com

2 comments

by jrob 20 Jan 2009

Sounds good, but I looked and nearest class for me is 40 miles away ;(

by sewmom 20 Jan 2009

Sorry to hear that. Maybe look for an aerobics class that would be similar.

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by gerryvb 16 Jan 2009

With a good laugh you use many muscles too!

1 images:[1]

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by simplyrosie 15 Jan 2009

What works? Limit sugar, reduce portions and exercise. I used to be a die hard exerciser, but have gained weight I'd like to get off soon! So I walk 2-3 miles at lunchtime with a friend at work... oy vey!

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by lbrow 15 Jan 2009

I love it, & yes I'm fasting & have been for a week. *

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by clawton 15 Jan 2009

Cute. I think it is hopeless. I don't even drop those pounds by not eating and that's not fun!

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by grandmamek 15 Jan 2009

You made my day. That sure made me laugh. I guess we are all in the same boat. See you at the gym.
LOL!!

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by blhamblen 15 Jan 2009

Jerilyn You hit the nail on the head...I'll have to post the peal a pound soup for US all in the PERSONEL section...We can ALL share in the 4 letter word D I E T...

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by toet 15 Jan 2009

Jrob very funny thankyou. OH thats me,i think i have put on some love handles over christmass ouch,do we buy nice new clothes or loooooooooose the pounds and buy more embroidery equipment? Lots of water helps,when you get the nibbles,drink water instead. flowers for you