that Hospice thinks that the care that she has received has improved her health so much - that they are releasing her from their service, not from the facility, just from Hospice overseeing her care. This was exciting - because it means that she no longer is in that fragile state - that means that she was dying - but it also means - that the care that she is receiving could be denied. So at this time - I am in need of prayers - to accept God's will for her and to see that He has a plan in place - that things will work out and that the help that she may need for this long term care with medicaid will not be denied and that she will be able to continue with the care that has given her such an improvement in her quality of life. Thank you in advance for all that you may do on her behalf. Unconditional Love, Shirlene
211079
Shirlene - keep your faith. We know that this is something that you are struggling with, and hope that this is indication that you will be able to have your mother with you a while longer. We are all hoping the best for you and your mother. Hugs
1 comment
by shirlener88
25 Mar 2009
Beth, I do believe that all that we have done to this point is to assure that we will have my Mother around for many more years - we will wait on the outcome and see if she is accepted or not - then we will deal with it - one way or the other. In the mean time - they have started my Mother on a physical theraphy - we might get her out of the wheel chair that she has been in for the last couple months. If that is all that comes from this - beside the added physical health benefits - then it will be worth it. Thanks for your loving support.
44905Hello Shirlene, you know I never look in Personal, but tonight decided to do that, and was touched by your writing.
I looked after my mother and father in law for many years. Mom had Alsheimers, and Dad had Parkinsons. My mom in law was the first to get very sick, and I got a nurse aid to help me during the days. When she went to the hospice, we thought that she would not live long, but even though she could not see or hear us, I believe she heard every word we said, and we made a point of talking to her when we visited. She was eventually sent home, and we had to put her in a centre where they took care of her, and they were very good to her. We visited every day, but after a period of two weeks, she also passed away. I just want to tell you that she believed more than anybody can in God, and I believe it was that faith, that helped us all through the trauma of all that happened. It was worth looking for a good place for her to be looked after, even though we sometimes felt so tired of all the "red tape". I hope things work out real well for you, and that the medicaid will be given.
We were so lucky to also get my father in law into a very good centre, and he lived on for seven years. When he died 3 years ago, we knew that, even though he did not know us at all, (this was the worst to accept) he had been taken care of very well, and we could also visit him often, and be part of his life.
I will pray for you and your mom,because God knows what is best for us all, and will never let us, big or small, old or young, suffer more than we can bear. My prayers and feelings are with you all the time, and I am certain that things will work out right for you. Love and hugs. Marietta
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by shirlener88
25 Mar 2009
Marietta, thank you so much for sharing about your in laws - I too believe that with good care - that my Mother will live on for many years - it has been a good move for her and she is active - now the paperwork is finished - we will just wait on the outcome of it - I don't know what they can or can't do - if it doesn't come through - but we will wait and see. Thank you for your sweet support.
15907Shirlene, You and your Mother are in my prayers. I know what it is like. We have not had to make a decision like that as of yet, but I did quit my job last July 31 to be able to stay home and take care of Mom. Although I know that I'm doing what God wants me to do, I also know that I have to let God's will be the final decision maker in all that is done with her. With her cancer and the alzheimers (all is well as of now) at sometime we are gonna be faced with the decision of what is best for her in the long run. We almost lost her this past Christmas due to the chemo and she has yet to get started back on it due to not being able to recover very fast and the weather. My fear is is the quanity of life and quality of life. We know that it is not cureable, but treatable. But to what degree do we push the treatment. If it is not cureable, then there can be no remission. The chemo puts her at such a risk for everything else. That's what almost took her life. Not the cancer, but the robbing her of any thing to fight off other infections. Right now, she is healthy and pain free, so it's so hard to start her back. I, like you, can only trust God's decision in this. Yes, I would love to have her here forever, but only if her life is "worth living" as she has often told us. Yes, it's the most heart wrenching decision you can be faced with, but I know that I have to let God do the hard decisions, cause as her child, I can't. I would want to do what might not be fair to her. We lost my Dad in Nov of 06. I found him when I came home from work. For months I was so angry that I was the one who had to find him, but then realized that if it had not been me, it would have probably been her. Sometime I wish he was still here and know if he was, it would be with all the pain of nerve damage in his feet and legs from Diabetes. He spent the last 5 or 6 years of his life in pain everyday even though he took several pain killers everyday. I would love to have him back, but not at that cost. Not to see him like that. I try to handle Mom's illness in that way. Yes, I want her to be here for as long a possible, but not if this illness robs her of some quality of life. Yet, it's hard to picture life without her. I've been here with her for 8 years, part of that time with Dad also. It's hard to even think of giving her up. So, I pray for God's guideance and acceptance of the future. I will remember you and yours everyday. Prayers and Blessings, Libbie
1 comment
by shirlener88
23 Mar 2009
Libbie, it is great to know your name finally. Thank you so much - it seems that the two of us - are trying to do for our loved ones - with almost the same situation - my Mother has a mass in her pelvic area - but she will not allow them to do any sort of testing to find out if it is cancer - so for now - she is just dealing with the pain - she has Alzheimer's and dementia - a couple spots on her lungs and has had trouble with her heart and high blood pressure for a long while - along with I don't know how many other severe things - but she is doing better - since I put her in the Skilled Nursing Center - my DH and I moved from NC to UT to care for her - but we both lived in our own apartments - we gave up and left a house in NC - so we are starting over here - I would love her to live with us - but her health went down hill so fast - that I had to make a decision or lose her - so I put her in the Skilled Nursing Facilty and her health has improved enough to get her off of Hospice - now we are just working on getting the help with Medicaid - she is in a room with a room mate - as of today and we will see how that works out. Hehehe! I too, lost my father in November of 06 and he battled cancer and had trouble with his legs, too.
11500Hi Shirlene
Sorry only saw your post now.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother.
I went through that with My dad just in January. The paper work was a pain.
But I managed to get him in, he was first in the sick bay. Then they said that he was stronger and could move into a room of his own.
He has his own room now. And he seems to have settled in well.
I try to see him at least 4 times in the week and his younger sister goes to see him once. I also pop in over the week-end if I'm passing that way. But my sisters then see him on the week-end.
I went to see him today after I had been at the hospital to see my new GD. So that I could show him some pictures of his new GREAT GD.
The nursing staff said to me that he did not want them to shave him this morning . But when I got to his room he had just shaved himself. So yes he seems to be doing ok.
I feel so much better now, than back in January.
Shirlene,All you can do is trust in the Lord.
I will remember you and your mother in my prayers. It is wonderful that her illness has improved.
God Bless
Hugs
Yvonne
2 comments
by shirlener88
23 Mar 2009
Yvonne, thank you dear - I do relate to all that you said - I feel better for my Mother's improved health and I do have hope that it will all work out for the best for her, too. I will keep your family in my prayers, too.
132773Shirlene, I hope for a good outcome for you and your mother, you will be in my thoughts.
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58029I'm praying for the best outcome, Shirlene! I can't imagine going through all that paperwork and stuff, hang in there! I love you, Marji
1 comment
by shirlener88
21 Mar 2009
Marj, thank you - the paperwork has been submitted - we are just waiting for acceptance, now. She has been dropped from HOSPICE and moved to a room with a room mate.
33451Shirlene, I will remember you and your mother in my prayers. It is wonderful that her illness has improved. All you can do is trust and fill out papers. Wanting to be proactive can be so hard when waiting, but we are promised that everything is in His hands and His time.
1 comment
by shirlener88
20 Mar 2009
Thank you Jerrilyn, we are just waiting for the outcome now - she was a bit upset - having to change rooms and nurses and getting a roommate - but all in all - it will work out - I just feel - He didn't bring her this far - to drop her. Hehehe! Thanks.
158718Sweetheart let me tell you a little story. My Mom suffered a long time with multiple ilnesses ever since I can remember. My Dad had health problems too. But they took care of each other and when they couldn't I did> Thepaper work and begging to get help for them was a mess but by the grace of God we got theough all of it. Them in October 2002 they told us Moma probably wouldn't make it to the end of the month. We were kinda ready because she had been so sick for so long. On October 20 I got a call from her asking where my Dad was I told her I talked with him and he went to the store this was at 3;30 and she called me at5;00. Well she found my Dad in the car parked in the back yard. Where he passed away from a heart attack. We buried him onWendsday and took Moma to my house to stay. The following Monday Oct 28 my Mom died. Exactly 8 days after my Dad. My life when down the toilet for a long time. I blamed mysrlf for a lot. I do pray for you and your family because time is so precious youjust don't know. But my faith in God brought me through and eveyday I miss them but I know thier troubles and pain are over and one day we will be together again. Don't get discouraged by the paper work and proedures just try to make minute to minute that's all we really have anyway. God does have a plan and it will turn out for the best. Rest whn you can and believe. God Bless
3 comments
by shirlener88
20 Mar 2009
OH thank you for sharing your parents story - I can see that you went through alot with them and I too believe that God has a plan - He just hasn't told me about it and that is what bothers me - but I do know that it will work out - the struggles aren't as bad - today - she will be moved into another room and get a room mate - they don't allow them to be singled out - in private room - unless they are dying - I guess - so time will tell - how it will work out - I know it will be OK - I am sure of it. Thanks!
by marjialexa
21 Mar 2009
Wow, what a story! I'm so sorry you blamed yourself, and I do hope you have stopped doing that. It was tough as all get out for you, but I see in your story two people who spent their lives together getting to spend eternity together without waiting! How blessed they were! I know it almost killed you, because I wanted to die when my parents died, and my husbands. Just soldier on. I know there's a plan, but like you, Shirlene, I'd like to get let in on it! C'mon, just a hint!! This is all very hard. Getting old isn't for the faint of heart, they say. Love to you both, Marji
by memasanders
23 Mar 2009
Hey Marj Thanks for the concern I have gotten alittle better about the guilt, and I have learned that since my kids are grown and are extreamly good parents and spouses. And since Moma & Daddy are very well taken care of I have to take care of me. My health is going down faster than I like so I try to look out for me now.You guys are all great. I love coming to the site and hearing from you all. I love my crafts and try to keep busy as busy as mind and body allow so I guess we'll all take one day at a time and keep the faith. Thanks agian for the kind words. Great hearing from you
8321Shirlene, I know it's a mixed blessing when people recover just enough to be too good for one form of care and too bad to have enough care in the other. You must be very worried. I'll remember you and your mother in my prayers and hop all will work out. Take good care of yourself! Love, Martine
1 comment
by shirlener88
20 Mar 2009
Martiene, that is exactly how it is - worried that the care that has gotten her better will stop and then she will falter - but I trust they know what they are doing - she is moving into a room - with a room mate and now she is all worried that they will not get along - I just laughed at her and said - well - who knows - this person could be your best friend - for a long while, too. Hehehe! Thanks for your support and prayers.
145305Dear Shirlene,
My prayers and thoughts are with you. I hope that whatever eventuates will be the right outcome. It is such a difficult stage of your life to go through - I pray that Medicaid will come through with flying colours and continue to assist your Mother in all facets of her healthcare. Just remember you are not alone - we are all here for you.
Keep strong in your faith and God bless you and your family.
Love and blessings Chris
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234507Shirlene I will pray for you and your Mom. I pray that medicaid is coming through and that you will know what to do at all times.
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109774Shirlene my prayer and good thought will be with you, hope you are able get everithing sorted for the better of all.
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34304Glad to hear that your Mother is better and so sorry to hear about the struggle to get proper care for her. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. Many here will be keeping you both in their thoughts. I hope you will get the care needed for her and the strength you need to support her. Do take care of yourself as well. Hugs and *, Lois
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6982I will keep you and your Mother in my prayers. I know this is all so difficult for you. Keep your faith and all will work out for the best. Hugs for you. Mary
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33871It is a hard process. Hope everything works out for the best.
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by shirlener88
19 Mar 2009
Well she is at the facility - but we are going through so much - to keep her there - I know it has to work out - for her. Thanks!
62461Dear Shirlene, I'm so sad you are going through all these. You and your mother will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please, take care of yourself too and be strong for your mother. Love, Yoriko
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88650I read your post with sadness,it is a hard road,and your path devided. My best thoughts are with you in this difficult time.
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