or his Dad's (Baby's biological Grandfather's) Birthday.

by meganne 23 Jul 2009

Thanks Linda, I sort of hold back a little as my DIL is a very quiet country girl and kind of withdrawn from me. I never want to be seen as an interfering MIL so I guess I am also a bit withdrawn too. I never know how to be around her or what to talk about with her as we are so totally different, with nothing in common, but it is getting better since she had the two kiddies and she seems to be opening up a little more now.
She is very close to her Mum and three sisters (understandably) and I'm afraid I always feel a bit left out, a little jealous too, (if i'm to be truthful) but I accept that they would naturally spend more time with her family, that's the normal way of things isn't it.
I am hoping when I move back closer to them we will spend more time and become closer but i will never force myself on her. OH dear it probably sounds worse than it is! She is a wonderful mother and a good wife and devoted to the church and perhaps she finds me a little intimidating!!!! LOL!! She did say I was buying the kiddies too many toys so I immediately stopped and now i hold back even more as I don't want to upset her. How strange is life?!
Hugs n love, M

by lflanders 23 Jul 2009

Next time you go to shop for the children, ask her to go with you and help pick out something for them. Maybe you could get her a little something. I can not imagine anyone being withdrawn from you! She must really be timid. If she spent more time around you I am sure she would warm up to you. Brag on her and what a good Mom she is. Let her know that you really love her just like your son. She will come around if she spends time around you. Ask her what she wants you to do for the new baby. That way she will have to think about these things and give you some input and she will feel like she is being included also. This is hard for me because I just always made myself fit in ,that is if I wanted to fit, if I didn't want to fit it, I just stayed away. I was terrified of my X father-in- law. He was a nut case and I would not let him in the house unless his son was there. I loved my X MIL and I still do and we have been divorced 30 yrs on the 25th of this month. She is a very sweet person. My X got married 6 months after we divorced but Ms. Flanders still treats me like I am part of the family. We had a civil divorce and we had friends that did not know we were divorced for a long time! It was a few weeks before Christmas before I even told my Mom. I knew she was going to show out. We had been married 16 yrs. Actually we missed it by 4 days. I was timid when I was younger but that was a long time ago and I do not have a timid bone in my body now. I am alot like you. I say what I think. Why not? I am not a mean person so there is no reason for me not to say what is on my mind. I love to have fun. It is easier to laugh than it is to cry. My DIL is quiet but she is not shy. She says what she is thinking. I respect her for it. She lived in pure Hell for a very long time and now she is happy. Her 1st husband was a no good bum. She did not believe in divorce so she stayed in the mess until he ran off with some young female that went to their church. She had grounds for divorce in the eyes of the Lord then. She will not let anyone treat her badly now! Of course, my son treats her like she is a queen! He does everything for her! He is loving and lets her have her way about everything. I am beginning to worry about that but I am keeping my mouth shut. I am afraid it is going to get old to him before long. Of course, she is good to him also but she lets him do anything he will do! She is not used to having a man in the house that can cook, clean, wash clothes and iron. I taught him well when he was growing up. He can even sew! Her first husband was so sorry that he would not even hold down a regular job. She would work 3 & 4 jobs at the time to keep the house running. These two make a great match. I am sure if you spent some time with your DIL she would get used to your personality and love you like all of us do! Go for it! Linda

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Worse luck they live too far away and every time we go to visit it seems her Mum or her sisters are also visiting and it is quite common for them to go off out together and leave Greg, Ray and me at home with the children.

It's weird, but equally weird is THEIR tradition that EVERY girl born in the family has the same middle name, after some aunt who died as a child, it was just a fluke my Grandson's middle name is the same as my brother (who died at 10 months of age). Also that I have never been invited to be at the hospital for any of the births, in fact we don't know until AFTER each child is born, but my DIL's mum is always staying with them at the time.
My MIL was at the hospital for both my boys.
I refuse to push myself onto anyone and it takes two to create a friendship, almost impossible if the invitation is never given or implied.
Don't get me wrong, there is no animosity bewteen us but equally there is no closeness or affection.
OH well, maybe one day we will be closer, til then I just stand back so I can't be accused of being an interfering MIL. hnr, m

by meganne 23 Jul 2009

Oh Teri, I am filled with joy for my grandchildren and just so grateful to be alive to be able to be a Grandma and hopefully be here long enough to see them grow to adulthood.

Ray has 5 grandchildren who are not allowed to even see me as their Grandma, their parents make them call me Meg. It is so hurtful as I know the kids want to love me and I sure do love them, but every time we start getting closer they are withdrawn from us by some trumped up greivance.

Ray's GD started calling me Nan on the last occasion they came here to visit us, that was over six months ago, they have not come to visit us since and when Ray and I last saw them his GD was back to calling me Meg.

The difference between our families is so obvious as my Grandkids call Ray Poppy and actually call me Grandma Ray. LOL!

But Life has now blessed me with (soon to be) three GK's of my own that I can love and spoil freely and know that they will never be withheld from Ray and me as my Son/s are both far more mature and accepting.

I do have 10 Step GK's to my second husband, but sadly I haven't seen any of them since he passed away. They are spread far and wide and we all lost touch. I probably even have a GGC by now as my eldest GD is about 25 and most likely married. My how time flys and everything changes and as small as the world seems to be, we still lose touch with people we most shouldn't.

I can't wait to move back closer to my Son & his family but first they have to come back from their extended holiday interstate and that is one reunion I am so looking forward to in October.
Hugs n roses and much love, M

by meganne 23 Jul 2009

Oh dear, I have no idea what to make as the mothers these days don't value all the beautiful things we had for our babies. Everything has to be machine wash or disposable nowadays and they don't even dress babies as babies so I just went on a mad shopping spree for the first two. Probably do the same for this one and then wait until they're a little older and see what they would like. Though I do like the idea of making each one a quilt but it has to be one they can grow with, not just for a baby. I can't wait for it to be born as it feels sort of like a gift of life to celebrate my surviving cancer.
Hugs n roses, M

by meganne 23 Jul 2009

Oh yes but I just don't get to spend as much time with them as I would like.
Hopefully that will be rectified when we move back to my place when Ray retires, we'll be 130 kms and an hour and half closer to them. Then maybe i can be a real Grandma.
Hugs n love, M

by meganne 23 Jul 2009

Thank you so much and to you also. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Jacqui, it's exciting news and I am overjoyed.
Hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks n Hugs, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Debrar. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Karen, I'm really excited. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Fiesta is right, it will be a big one. HNR, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Laura. Yes they live at Newcastle, which is three hours drive from us, making it a six hour drive (at high speed) just to visit. Takes a lot out of us to do it in one day as we're not getting any younger but it's also tiring on the kiddies to visit us, so we don't see them as often as I would like.
I certainly hope you experience the joy of GRANDparenthood one day, it's something very special.
hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks n hugs, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks n hugs, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Pauline, Don't think I'll put that challenge to G & E though. LOL!!!
HNR, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Sheryl. hugs n roses, m

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks. Yes I think it's fantastic.
HNR, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

I couldn't ask for better! hugs n love, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks n hugs, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Claude, I'm very happy. hugs n love, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Congrats to you also. Yes GK's sure are special. hnr, M

by meganne 23 Jul 2009

Congratulations to you and yours too. I am so grateful to be alive to see my 3rd grandchild, and yes, life is great!
hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thank you. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Marie, Yes I love to spoil them with love. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Iris, Yes being a grandma is better than winning the lottery.
hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Denice, yes lots of ideas for sewing projects and I'm looking forward to watching them grow up. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Martine, it sure makes life worth living. Hve many projects in mind I just have to stop leeping so much and start sewing. LOL!!! Hugs n love, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Shirlene, yes it's wonderful news from someone who couldn't conceive. Our third miracle. Hugs n love, M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks n hugs, M

by meganne 23 Jul 2009

Thanks Sissi. HNR M

by meganne 26 Jul 2009

Thanks Ronny, Gives me added incentive to get back on my feet quicker. Hugs n love, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Thanks Gerry, am as excited as the first one. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Mine (normally) live three hours drive (over 100 miles) away. They're currently in another State on Long service leave holiday since April and won't be back until late October, so I miss them more than ever as they are even further away now and we can't visit them because of my chemo treatments. Guess we all wish our families were closer, I envy those whose families live nearby.
hugs n roses, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Especially so for us Grand parents. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Yes i'm over the moon, and waiting for the day I can move back closer to them all. hugs n roses, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Life is wonderful and I'm so grateful to still be here.
hugs n roses, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

I'm thrilled to pieces. Hugs n roses, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Only cause grandchildren make them feel that way. :-)
hugs n roses, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Only cause grandchildren make them feel that way. :-)
hugs n roses, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Don't give up. My son kept me waiting over ten years for the first, miracle baby they were never supposed to have, now we are waiting for the arrival of number 3. Each one a miracle.
hugs n roses, M

by lflanders 19 Jul 2009

Lenamae, I know just how you feel. I have 2 step daughters and 3 great grand children and I did not even get an invite to the oldest childs Birthday party a couple of months ago. I got a half-ass explaination but I did not get to go. I will never have any blood kin grandchildren or great grandchildren. My DIL can not have any more. Besides they are too old to be starting another family. My son is 42 and his wife is 45. Both will be a year older in Dec. The last thing they need is a baby.(there is no way. He has been married less than a year and this is his 1st marriage. He did not leave home until he was 37. He had his own basement apt. but he was always where the food was and he would go to sleep on the sofa. The washer and dryer was upstairs with me so He did not spend alot of time in his apt. He mostly worked downstairs. He had his computer business down there. He worked with me part-time and was also in the Heating and A/C business so he stayed busy all the time. I was in the restaurant business and I did alot of outside catering. I also owned a craft/consignment store on the square uptown. We both stayed busy all the time. We usually passed on the way in or out of one place or the other. Most of the time we were not in the same place at the same time. The catering business was the only thing that took us both and all the help we could muster when something big came up! We sure had some crazy request but I never turned anyone down unless I could not find what they wanted. you know, supply and demand! All of this was on cement floors except for the dining rooms. It sure took its toll on my arthritis. I finally had to put a going out of business sign on the craft store and have a sale. It was not too long before I could no longer stand up to do the restaurant and the catering. I was in so much pain that I would work and cry and cry and work at the same time. It just got to be too much. T-H-E-N- came the awful surgery just to save my legs. The dr's in small town USA mutilated my legs and the nerves in them. Then to the nursing home for 8 months, flat on my back until it healed. I was 57. I went home the day after they took the last bandage off but I have not been the same physically or mentally since then. I am just beginning to get some self-confidence back but the back and leg pain is still there and I am having out-patient surgery again. It is a world of difference in the way everything is done in Atlanta than it was in the small hospital where I nearly died 5 years ago. I go get in my car and go do what I feel like doing after surgery now. It hurts sometimes and sometimes it is just uncomfortable after the proceedures. The Lord has given me my life twice and I have to believe there is a reason for it. I feel like I need to be doing something good with my life now. I kinda just take things as they come and when I do not have enough money to pay the bills, I just trust the Lord will show me the way. He gave me my life the 2nd time for a reason unknown to me. He also gave me my son's life twice. I know that there has to be a reason for that also. I have changed my way of thinking alot. My son had a major Heart Attack at 41 on March the 9th of this year. We came very close to losing him. He is doing good and back at work but he is not 100%. He still scares me sometimes but I do stop and think that it is possibly because it is because he is my son that I may be worrying for nothing. I want to move back home where my family and friends are because I never see my son anymore but I am afraid to leave him up here and go back down there. I am in a bad situation. He is my 1st priority no matter what I have to go through. Be happy Meg. You are on your way to recovery and have a new baby on the way. Hopefully they will be closer soon. I know you are very happy about the wonderful news. Just remember to take care of Meg! You have to play granny to another baby now! It takes alot of energy to run after 3 children! Just think, another miracle! Love and hugs, Linda

by lflanders 19 Jul 2009

I got a message in there for the both of you at one time on this post! Linda

by simplyrosie 23 Jul 2009

Lenamae, your statement makes me so sad... I can't have children, so my Mother will never be a biological GM...but why not embrace your step GKs as your own? Gosh, this just let the air out of my tires... geeze!

by lenamae 23 Jul 2009

lflanders your letter is so sad but you are here for a reason I used to feel like I had no perpose here but I do and I know that.

Meg My son is 52 and is not married he never will get married he was once and like his dad he never remarried when his dad and I split up because he was a bad drinker he never married again. my son will never marry again either he is to set in his ways .so I can just spoil some one else's babies.
I was able to only have one but I sure spoiled my brothers and sisters kids

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Thanks, I want to give hugs n roses to everyone, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Thanks, I want to give hugs n roses to everyone, M

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Oddly enough my DIL's Sister has also announced she is expecting her FIRST around the same time. DIL has three sisters and all their kiddies are close in ages so it will make for great closeness between all the cousins. Imagine the family get togethers!!!
Better today than yesterday, one day good, one not so good, that's the way of it. 3 treatments to go!

Hugs n love, Sis

by meganne 19 Jul 2009

Thanks Yoriko, if you lived closer you could share my GK's too. I'll share them with you in spirit. hugs n love, M