My husband and I have been married for 17 years and we are both tired and at the end of our tethers - we have had a LOT to cope with, especially in the last 6 years and had decided that perhaps to divorce would be kinder on both of us....

My hubby and I get on each others nerves a lot but we try not to argue about it, just do something separate for a bit. We try once a week to take in a movie, the matinee is cheaper or some places have a dollar theater and then we go to a buffet for a late lunch afterward. We talk about our grown children and the "what if" type of things and pretty soon we are laughing and have had a nice day that made it a nice week. Good luck, sometimes a divorce is needed, sometimes not. This is a 2nd marriage for both of us and it has held on for 34 years.

This is exactly how Life goes. We get to take things for granted.We always wait for the other to make things right.
Each day you can decide For 1hr I want to be Happy. so you do that,Make YOURSELF happy.
Soon your happiness rubs off.
Let go of the things that don't count.
I've been married for 32yrs and I will say so myself that I've been the "grown-up" and put things on track again.
Don't waste another minute.You could have lost him.
Best Wishes Bev

I really hope that you *both* want to work on keeping your marriage strong. I'm sure it does take both to be in it :) Best of luck for you both & I hope you both recover from the stress of such an awful experience soon, too.

I have been through that stage of thinking about divorce, so glad I didn't do it. We decided to find out why we were always so angry. When we could see past the anger we were a much happier couple. This was not an overnight event but took several months to move forward. A lot of tears and forgiveness and prayer and friends helped us move on with our commitment. We renewed out marriage vows for our 25th wedding anniversary and my husband surprised me with a cruise to the Caribbean. On November 19th we will celebrate our 33rd anniversary. Hang in there and work things out. Blessings and hugs to both of you and I hope you husband will recover soon.
Cindy B.

You both found something in each other. Don't give up you need to find what it was that made you both fall in love. A marrage takes work. Everyday I have been married for almost 21 years. Love my husband but some days would love to kill him. But I can't see my life without him. So keep talking and things will work out. DeVon

Make a two lists 1 everything you love about him and all that he does 2 what you don't like. Work on the don't like list to change it. Start going out on Dates again spend more time together with no interruptions. Go to places you used to go to and enjoy. Look at each other like you just met and fall in love all over again. work work work on it! Suzanne

Martine is so right it's up to you to put some spice back in your life. We grow so comfortable with ea. other we don't realize how much we would miss them if they were gone. Perhaps this is God's way of showing you. It could have been a lot worse. I hope things will turn around for you.

Fiona, this is such a unbelievable thing that happened to the two of you - a mugging and you realised that you are not ready to let go of the man that you love - that says it all for me - maybe the bump on his head - will do it for him as well - one day at a time - be there for him - do what you would have done - in the first years of your marriage - for him - for you - talk - no matter what - smile and love - be yourself - don't let the world get in your way - of your love. Pray to God above and ask him to show you the way - to be the woman that he would have you be. Accept God's will for you. *4U

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by fleabag 04 Nov 2010

Thanks Shirlene

PM TO YOU

I was once asked what it was that made me marry my husband in the first place. Every day living can be so hard and we get side tracked of what is important. I know you will find a way to be in love again. Think about all the good parts in him. I don't really have any suggestions I just know that I miss my husband that had annoyed me so often now since he is gone.

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by fleabag 04 Nov 2010

I know that I don't want to be in a place 10 years from now where I regret what I decide now
Sorry for your loss

Pray God will show you all the wonderful things about your hubby that made you fall in love with him.....you said it all when you said you were not ready to let him go....all marriages have ups and downs.....have you seen the movie Fireprof? it's a really good Christian movie about marriage.....I will be praying for you both....Gods blessings Janet

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by fleabag 04 Nov 2010

Thanks Janet

Remember when you first met and take things from there! I am sure this will turn out for the best! Hugs Sally

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by fleabag 04 Nov 2010

I will definately try Sally

Maybe this is just a rough patch in your life. Try and do the little things that he loves. He will reciprocate. Be loving and understanding. Try and act like you did when you were young and in love and remember what attracted you both in the beginning. I hope things work out for you. We went through a similar experience at about the same time in our marriage. We now are working on 51 years together.

Currently no suggestions but wishing you all the best.

Oh, please don't get a divorce!!! You may feel angry and it is normal sometimes even that you hate each other or that you think you do, but It is so hard to live without someone you love when years later you realize how importan was he for you....My personal experience!***********

Court each other. Do the little special things for each other that made each other so happy before. I think you are on the right path, just refuse to step off it again.

Act as you would when you were in love, all those little things you did to please him. Strangely enough it's not the things he does for you, but the things you do for him that influence your feelings the most - ask any psychologist (and I'm one of them).
I sincerely hope this nasty business is the start of a new and happy period in both your lives!

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by fleabag 04 Nov 2010

Thanks Mops.
I agree with your advice - we had talked and he mentioned a couple of things that really annoyed him that I do and I have made a concerted effort to change them. Initially I was doing it for him but it has made me feel so much better!

When something like this happens the words of Cowper's hymn spring to mind - God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform; that he has spoken in this way is a wonderful thing! A strong marriage is a partnership between a man and woman who respect each other and put each other first - and it's the little things each day that build it up. Strengthen your faith in God and both pray for guidance and help and you will find that it all works out for blessing.

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by fleabag 04 Nov 2010

Thanks Philippa

by fleabag 04 Nov 2010

Thanks Philippa

It is so easy to fall out of love when you get to used to that person you fell in love with. You probably didn't stop loving your husband you just forgot. You might want to start with having a date night again and be more social so you can reconnect. This is easier done when you are not in the home. Some of the other cuties will have wonderful suggestions for you. An event has a way of reminding us of what we forgot we have.

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by fleabag 04 Nov 2010

I think this is a super idea - imagine "dating" again after 17 years...hee hee... that would be such fun!