Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat.. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"
Have a great holiday season!!
Merry Christmas !!!
211079
Oh, Gosh what a party!!! Wish I could have been there!!!
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70914I did the shopping today for our Christmas lunch and I bought stuff that I just never have in the house. Lots of Chocolate and cakes and tarts. I am so looking forward to Christmas this year. But I will be exercising between now and new year.
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by shirlener88
30 Dec 2010
Alice, hope the Christmas lunch went well and I did see that you have lost - so you are doing great - keep it up lady - you will get there.
19430This is very good, I like carrot sticks with lots and lots of cream cheese!!!! We are planning a big dinner! In our case we do Christmas Eve my DH makes the roasted pork and i do Black beans rice, yuca and salad, Christmas time my DH cooks again!!! merry Christmas to all of you!!!
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by shirlener88
23 Dec 2010
Oh my - can we come to your house - that sounds yummy. Merry Christmas to you, too *4U
26714Love it, thanks for a chuckle! We do Christmas eve and there will be plenty of food. Hope you have a nice Christmas, on Christmas day it will just be hubby and I.
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33580OMG i will be the good year blimp if i do all this LOL carolyn
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36693LOL funny funny, love it...Merry christmas hugs Sally
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24342A friend sent this to us and I thought it was so funny. Too bad I can't take its advice though. I don't want to buy another wardrobe. I am so lazy.
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by shirlener88
21 Dec 2010
Well, if it keeps you from buying another wardrobe - then you just do what you are doing - Hehehe!
169064Started laughing immediately. Funny stuff. I made the mistake of leaving the chairs around the table during one Christmas open house I was having and a 300+ lb man pulled a chair out and sat down to where no one could get to the food. When he got up from the table the others removed all the chairs. lol
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by shirlener88
21 Dec 2010
OH my - the rest of them at least got the chairs away from the table after that - glad you enjoyed it - Hehehe!
89895I do remember one Christmas season when my Mother (Miss Loretta) was doing some catering for a local ice cream parlor and she enlisted me and my older sister for help in the kitchen for a couple weddings - they were lavish and the goodies on the lovely crystal plates was to die for - one being rum balls - I wasn't that old - perhaps in my early teens - I remember that my Mother allowed us to eat one rum ball - I thought they were the most heavenly thing I had ever eaten. And she also let us share one small crystal cup of Egg Nog, but the two of us really took another cup and shared it, as well. Hehehe! Funny what we remember, isn't it?
211079Love it! Had a good laugh! I hope you and Rick have a safe and wonderful Christmas! Carol
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by shirlener88
21 Dec 2010
Carol thanks - hoping for you to also have a safe and wonderful Christmas *4U
12165For some reason, the last section of this little ditty made me think of Meganne. It just sounds like something she would come up with! I guess it is because she has such a zest for life and such a wonderful sense of humor.
This was cute! Most likely it is very true for more people than not! I think most of us overdo it at Thanksgiving and Christmas! All the food and desserts look so good and we do not eat that way at any other time around our house.
Unfortunately, I was informed today that we were eating very light for Christmas Dinner. For lunch we are just having ham sandwiches and potato salad and we are going to my step- granddaughter's home for dinner and I am not sure she can cook. The only two things She has ever arrived with for the holiday meals were not eaten and her family made fun of it. That is the reason I have had to make the dressing ever since out 1st meal together. My son is cooking a spiral ham and I am doing the cakes and fruit salad plus a potato salad. Since I am the cook in the family(as well as my son) we usually end up cooking the whole meal. They just decided not to go all out for Christmas. My son and I cooked the whole Thanksgiving for two families and a couple of neighbors who were invited and Gail, my DIL, did not cook a thing nor did she wash a dish afterwards. I was tired, ill and cranky by the time I got home. I could not move for a couple of days after standing and cooking all day on Wednesday and starting over Thursday morning. I hope you and Rick have a nice quiet Christmas with family and friends around. Try not to overdo so you can enjoy yourself!
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by caroldann
21 Dec 2010
Oh my, your DIL sounds like mine. Her favorite words as she curls up on the sofa with a book is, "oh, you didn't need any help did you"?
by shirlener88
21 Dec 2010
Linda, thanks for thinking of Meg while ready this - she does have a great sense of humor.
Have a good dinner and please enjoy yourself this year.
Rick and I will be at home - safe and sound and we will not be over doing it, either.
24961Shirlene you always come up with brilliant postings. I do like carrot sticks but if you dip them in mayo will it count?
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by shirlener88
21 Dec 2010
Caroline, you are so funny - actually I just copied this from an email from an distant cousin - Hehehe! Of coarse if you load the carrots down with something else - they will count - Hehehe! Merry Christmas. *4U
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