the music and go sleep with the memories and never, never wake up...I think I am just of living on the past and want to go back, but it is imposible and just want to end all this pain.

Maria, I'm sorry for your feelings and for finding this message so late. I will pray that God heals your heart and you disappointment.
You are loved.
Jacqueline

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Hindsight is always 20/20. You don't know- he might have been a loser in the long run but we all make choices we regret. Some days I look back to when life was easier and then I know I can't go back but I enjoyed the memory. During my divorce I thought the harassment, degradation and feeling myself slip away into a dark place was the way it would always be. Luckily, life gives you more chances. Talk to someone you trust. It will get better but you have to help it. Confiding in someone is a start. I found help through a domestic violence group which helped me recover some of my self esteem. There are a lot of groups for different kinds of help. Contact your local county government and see what is available. There is hope. It takes time but please seek out some help. Sometimes you just can't do it alone. God be with you,
Meri

We do not care about spelling We care about you, my advice go to a trusted freind talk about how you feel. go to your church and talk to the Reverend/priest i believe things happen for a reason, we just have to trust God. Hope you feel better today.

Maria, I've had those awful thoughts try to reach up and grab me and drag me down too. You are stronger than that. If that old music makes you feel so bad, don't listen to it, instead, put on some music that helps you feel happier in the here and now. The past isn't now, and it isn't real for now. Call some friends, get out, go for a walk, do something that makes yourself feel comforted. Are you on meds for depression? Are they the right dosage? You sound just like me when I switched from one med to another. You are strong.You are worth it, and there is hope. You can make it through this. God loves you, and we do too.

Please take a moment to look at the following website. My husband and I went to a live conference and he actually gave it a thumbs up. I was surprised. We found some really good information from this conference...

http://loveandrespect.com/about-u...
You don't have to go to a conference, you can buy a book or video or cd. Also, they have a workbook. You can even buy these used from amazon.com.

There is also a blogspot run by the same entity...
http://emersonandsarah.blogspot.c...

And most of all, find some quiet time to focus on God and feel Him. He is real. He has not changed from the God of yesterday and will not change tomorrow. He wishes you a life full of joy and love. He is waiting for you to find Him. He wants to hold your heart and make it explode with His fullness. Please know that He has promised to be faithful to those who seek Him.

I have this book you need to buy & maybe others would like it to.It is called 5 love languages ::BY:Gary Chapman.This book will save your life & your marriage .I wish everyone would read it.Its only around 10-15 dollars .The 5 Secerts are /1 Words of Affirmation /2 quality time /3Acts of service /4 gifts /5Physical touch.Anyone having a rough go of it buy this book !!!Trust me you will be glad you did!!carolyn

I think there are many who could relate to this Maria. Down the track you will see the bigger picture and realise that things happen for a reason, though you may not know it at the time, it often works out for the best.
Hugs n roses, Meganne

I had the chance to go back - and did. Married my childhood sweetheart and it ended up being a nightmare. Thought it was going to be this beautiful romance..... It was all made up in my head. I had this fairytale built up over the years and it played out really well in my head, but when reality showed up - it was much different. Don't let memories from your past drag you down. Start over from today with reality - tangible reality that you know exists. Your mind can really do a number on you if you let it. Leave the past in the past. Take time to journal it all down, bury it (literally if it will help you), grieve it and then leave it in the past. Most importantly you must give it to God. God cannot work in your life until you give control to him. Let go and let God. Besides - only Jesus is worth any heartache.

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by hightechgrammy 25 Jan 2011

My brother married his high school sweetheart after his first divorce. What a disaster. It was worse than his first! Now, 10 years after that divorce we have directions to shoot him if he ever considers dating - LOL

today I posted this Saying, perhaps it will help you:

"Your angel cannot ease your aching heart
nor take the pain away
but she can stay and take your hand
and walk with you today!"

I taught my kids that there are choices and consequences. There also is no way to turn back the time to change your fate. Memories are what you have to remember and now it's time to move on and live knowing you made the best choice at that time. Every day is a new gift a new memory. Make peace with yourself and new memories.

Maria, let go and let God. I'm sorry you feel so sad. I hope all is better by now.

We all at some stage 'live in the past', just remember the good memories of that time, and cherish them in your heart..and keep smiling, your far too young for a double chin!!!.. :) *4u

Maria, I know exactly how you feel. I made some dumb choices, and for dumb reasons, too. That's the problem with choice, if you go down one path, you can't go down the other one, too. And thirty years later you say, "oops! shouldn't have done that!" That's when you have your own private Pity Party. Cry about the loss if you want to, because it does hurt, whether the "life" you would have had is just in your imagination or not. Let yourself feel, and let yourself heal, too. When you get done mourning what you could have had, let the rain stop and the rainbow come out, and look at the good things you
DO have. They're not the same, but they're still good. Besides, doesn't sound like these Cuties are going to let you quit any time soon. One day at a time, girl. Just remember it's a dog eat dog world; some days you eat the dog, and some days the dog eats you, but it evens out eventually. Love ya, Marji

I'm so sorry you are depressed. I can only imagine how sad you must feel, but as many have said you must go forward and look for all the many blessings you have. I will pray for you and please seek help if you can't get out of this depressed state. *4U Judy

No do overs... Try not look back -- here is a good quote that made me smile--because in my life it did rain a lot
"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, But how to dance in the rain!" Songs are good for changing moods,
try "happy happy joy joy--Lol- or the theme to gilligan's island...the type that gets stuck in your head 4 days..
queentroll1955 love and hugs

Hi there, I have read all the comments you received and I hope today you are feeling better. Please listen to what Alice has said - I am sure she is right. We are all behind you. Hugs Sarah.

Maria, You have been given some pearls of wisdom here. I must say though that I am concerned about the way you are talking (writing) I am a registered mental health nurse and spent many years doing mental health assessments. the way you are talking has some alarm bells ringing for me and if you are having these thoughts often I think it would be a good idea to pop along to your doctor and talk about this. I will pray for you. please take care.
Alice.

Maria, I have been where you are and just had to take it one day at a time, mine was about that I should not have divorced him 39 years ago but have just in the last year and a half I have come to realize that the life I thought I missed out on would not have been the life I dreamed it would have been. What I have now is for the best. Cheer up and move on. What's past is past. Live for now.
Deb

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by leenova54 19 Jan 2011

Oops, married him 39 years ago, divorced him 36 years ago. Now I know for sure it was for the best.

Marie, wake up sweetie. We all have memories and wrong choices. We can not go back, only forward. call a friend. We love you. Kay

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So sorry to read about this. Live for today. Look to the future. We dont have eyes in the back of our heads. Must be a reason for that.? Think about your 4 grandchildren. You are in our thoughts and we know you can work through this.

Bless you. We really don't know what life would be like if we had done things differently. We only imagine. I hope you have someone to talk to - someone you can confide in - it could help your feelings. Please know you are never alone!!*

Maria,
Usually, when one is depressed or sad, his/her thoughts delve into the past to sort through all the "could'a, would'a, should'a", thinking "what if I had done this"! It could have been a LOT worse with a different choice, so don't waste time on futile dreaming. Remember the saying, "Be careful of what you wish for, it may come true!"
My heart goes out to you, because the pain of depression is
devastating and overwhelming, and you sound extremely depressed. I suffered from depression years ago, and it was the most awful time of my life. I read every inspirational book, poem, and articles that I could find to keep my mind from wondering to the sad thoughts. Every time I felt the dark clouds engulfing me, I quickly started thinking of all the things I truly had to be thankful for; how blessed I was, inspite of my circumstances. I learned to keep repeating, "Lord, there's nothing coming my way today, that YOU and I can't handle together!" I found bright lights and sunshine helped the clouds/pain slowly fade, so I stayed away from dark rooms/areas.
My dear, I am not intending for this to be so lengthy, but I felt your pain, as I read your note. Surround yourself with uplifting, encouraging friends, as critical and negativism pulls one down further. And most of all remember, it DOES get better!!
From someone who has been there,
Angel

Maria, so sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. Take 1 day at a time, you can change the future but not the past. Now try and keep your mind busy, with things that you enjoy doing. Look towards the future. I will be thinking of you and will also keep you in my prayers.Hugs Yvonne

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Your posting has upset me terribly. I hope that you find a way out of this depression and get your thoughts back on track. My thoughts are with you and remember that you will get loads of comfort from all the Cuties. Love and hugs Sarah.

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You say you should have married this person but remember, the alternate future you are envisioning is a fairy tale. You can't be sure that it would have ended well. Look at your present life and how you can improve it. You can change your future but not your past.

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by fannyfurkin 19 Jan 2011

Very well said.

I wished I had some words of wisdom to make you feel better....I will keep you in my prayers asking God to comfort you and direct your life....I so hope this depression passes and life will start looking better.....Gods blessings....Janet

sorry...should had married...my spelling is just horrible as you all know.

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by hightechgrammy 25 Jan 2011

We don't care about speeelling - lOL