I know this is dumb. But I have cried for two days now. It has been 9 months (today) since my dad died. I can't stop crying?? Can anyone please help?? Thanks DeVon

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and hope you're feeling better very soon! I lost my mom to cancer in 1988, and my dad commited suicide in 1998. Then my older sister had a massive heart attack in 2008 that took her life instantly. Yes, its a ten year thing, don't know why. I still cry over these loses. Seems mostly during the late winter months. For me I think its part of the SADD my family suffers through that makes it worse.

My Mom died 28 years ago and there are days that I still cry. But it's OK to cry. I feel her presence around me all the time in funny little ways that make me smile. My way of keeping her close.

My daddy died over 20 years ago and I still cry. I was daddy's girl and have never gotten over the loss. For me it never hurts less, just further apart. Let yourself grieve and hold your memories close, it will get better with time.

it's alright to cry. There always will be moments you feel the loss of your dad. My parents died the same day. it's 30 years ago now and still there are special moments I feel they are missing. Remember they always will have that special place in your heart.And they will always be with you.And if you feel like crying , just do sure you must have loved him dearly and still do. and always will.But try to laugh too, try to remember the fun and laughter you had together. I'm sure your dad wants you to remember these times too, and he will hope it gives you back a smile on your face. Try to be happy because you had the chance you've known your dad and shared so many good memories.hope this will help you a little bit.I know it's hard to loose your parents.Hugs and prayers for you.

DeVon, look up in the Heavens and know He's in the best care ever....Our Heavenly Father is sitting there waiting for you to reach out and spend time with him....Tears never go away....soon they will be replaced with memories and when that time comes, there will be a few more tears, then laughter will kick in. When your healing has gotten on the road, you will find yourself seeing little things that will remind you of your Dad, That's when you will know he hasn't left you, but gone ahead to be waiting for you...when you start to really miss him..go look in the mirror and see a reflection of him staring right back at you...Your fathers body has left, but his love is still with you...

I too have lost people close to me....I take death as a different view...I choose to look at it as Heaven has another angel to dance and rejoice with..
and soon I will be there to sing and praise the Lord with them....Take time to picture your Dad at Jesus's feet, roaming around with all the prophets...A smile in your heart should help with just this idea.....

Its hard to be left behind, but oh the anticipation and the stories we will hear when its our turn....

So much LOVE IS BEING SENT TO YOU...Try to be happy in the knowledge of the time he is having now. Sweetie, Reach for our Heavenly Father...loves deanna

It is okay to cry.It shows you how much you loved him.
Every one grieves and it is a process of healing, the hurt and sorrow.
My (baby) Brother committed suicide 4-2-2001 so this is also a painful month for me.
My family was devestated, and I remember thinking that I was lucky cos I'm a girl and can cry, what of my other brother's pain.I could see their hurt and they are men that don't cry.
I will pray for us both that God may lessen our sorrow.
Hugs Bev

sweetie,just let the grief flow,I lost both my sons a few years ago,their deaths were 7 months apart, so I know what its like,first the grief,then the anger,then the asking why..all perfectly natural.don't bottle up, talk about him all the time,then when the time is right,put your best foot forward(lots of effort needed here) and live,heal and be happy..lots of love lesley.

no way are you dumb my dad died in 1975 and I miss him as if it were yesterday we had so much unfinnished things to do and talk about I may not see him I still feel for him and most of all I will always love him he may not be seen but I know he is by my side and in my heart so if you feel you need to shed a tear remember hes by your side through all your ups and downs and cherish whats in your heart it will get easier and tears get fewer but memoriers never fade Hugs Shazells XOXO******

You are certainly not dumb. It will get better believe me. It is so hard to loose a parent. I never knew my father so when my Mum died in 1975 it was very hard. I still miss her. It is good to have a cry. Hugs Sarah. *4U

First off your feelings are not dumb, they are real. Go ahead and cry and get the emotions out, they are not good bottled up inside. But know your Dad wants you to be happy and I am sure he wouldn't want you to dwell on your loss of him but focuse on the day you will be together again. Keeping you in my prayers. Love Becky

This afternoon I talked to my 8 year old grandson, who was home from school with a fever. He said he had been crying for his Daddy (who died in October). I told him that I had cried often for my Daddy when he died, and that crying because we missed someone that we loved was something that many of us do. Perhaps it is good to cry, and then do something to preserve the memory of the person you've lost. Think of some way you could help further a cause that your Father believes in, or help someone who your Father would like to help.
I'll pray for you when I pray for my grandson, and will pray that God can give you some peace, comfort and direction.
God bless you.
Hugs,
Jacqueline

1 images:[1]

My mother has been gone for a long time and even now after all these years I think of her and I will have to hold back tears. She was a beautiful loveing caring woman and touch so many lives with that love. I miss her so much everyday and I know that she is in the arms of the lord. She was sick for years and now she is at peace and no longer hurting. But I still miss her and always will. But now I can think more of the happier times in our lives together. The pain doesn't completely go away but it does lessen. God Bless and know that your father is with the lord at peace.
Dawn

I'm so sorry for your loss. Everyone deals with grief differently. There is no right or wrong here.I also think that we never get over the loss of a loved one, or get through it, because it never ends. But "it" changes. My youngest daughter died 10 years ago Feb. 24. My Mom died 17 months later. I don't remember the 3 months after Karen died. My husband & I still burst into tears occasionally if we hear her favorite song of see something profoundly purple. When Mom died, I had to help my usually strong Daddy cope. Stay busy. Do the things that you love.Like someone else said, think of the happy times.Don't worry that you may forget, memories come back. All of us are keeping you in our thoughts. We're here if you need us to "talk".Two days crying may even be hormonal. Dark days of winter produce sadness in some people. Try outdoors & sunshine.

Dear DeVon, Grieving is a process with many steps. Don't let anyone tell you there is a time table. My mama died a number of years ago and some little thing will set me off crying. Try very hard each day to focus on some good memory and share it with a friend, coworker or, even a cutie. Try each day to give some kind of service to someone in need. It does not have to be large and time consuming. Just start because, as you focus on others and give of yourself you will find that the pain becomes less and the memories more valuable. Try to make a scrapbook, a quilt, a photo album of your father that you can share with other family members and friends. You have tons of advice from the cuties. Gleen the things that strike at your heart and begin the healing. Remember prayer always helps.

Dear DeVon I lost my father 5 yrs ago and it took me a long time to get over it I watched him die of cancer. I prayed so long for the Lord to make him well well he did and time does heal. What I had to do was find something to try to keep my mind off of the what ifs and focus on the memories we made growing up.. My dad died on the same day that my 3 grandbaby was born so I know that the Lord will send you something to fill your void. I will pray for you. Dont forget to ask the Lord to fill your void because he does.

Of Course it's not dumb, when people we love have gone from our lives a void is left behind, it's our job to fill that as best as we can. I agree with the cuites here too, do something in keeping with his style, make a scrapbook, sew his favorite thing be it sports or fishing whatever, talking to a greif counselor would be face to face reassurance that this is not "Dumb" & it may be helpful to get someone else professional perspective. To let you know what the stages are & that it's ok to be where you are now. Always remember why you love him & know that even though he isn't here that doesn't mean that his love for you is gone too. Would he want to see you like this? Would he want you to be happy? I don't think that any parent wants their child to hurt this much.Please remember that you have people in your life right now that LOVE you very much & want to help you get through this

1 comment

by pennifold 15 Feb 2011

Well said - thanks for this. Love Chris

You go ahead & cry. Then wipe your eyes & move on. From reading your profile, you were a wonderful daughter caring for Dad for a long time. He's happy where he is & would want you to be happy too. Take all the cuties advise below...church, doctor, prayers, but don't think you are dumb. It takes a year to start getting things back to "normal" but those tears still will come at the oddest times!! I'm just over the mountain from you in Tenn praying for you! You're not alone. Now go hug that sweet hubby and adorable kitty cat!! I bet they both are wishing they knew something to do for you!

Dear DeVon,

I feel for you. My Dad only died on Father's Day 5th September 2010. I'm making a Memory quilt as I write this to you. Mum and I saved all his "cotton" styled clothing so I can make this quilt. He loved red, black and blue, so I'm cutting up all his clothes that we kept and will begin it this week. Cry as much as you want to it's a grieving process we all have to go through. I keep thinking of the wonderful things he used to do. Memories are forever!!!! Love and blessings Chris

P.S. Sending you a big hug - love Chris

1 images:[1]

1 comment

by pldc 15 Feb 2011

Chris I am sorry about your loss as well!My heartfelt prayers are with you all!

It's not dumb, we all grieve in different ways and we all have our good and bad days. Hang in there and hopefully tomorrow will be better. (((HUG)))
~Debra

Of course this is not dumb sometimes we just need to cry. I still have both of my parents and I dread to think how I will feel when one day I lose them. I do think sewmom has given you some good advice. There is a grieving process that you must go through but if you are stuck in it 9 months later you may need to see a grief counselor. I am not saying you should not still miss your dad, but life must go on and he would not want you to be stuck in unresolved grief. You are in my prayers.
Alice.

DeVon, you are just not finished grieving yet. Go ahead and let it out. Sometimes, depending on the circumstances of the death, we delay our grieving. We are here, and we can. Go on and type it out here where it is safe. Sending you the best kind of hug!

1 images:[1]

1 comment

by sewlikedawn 15 Feb 2011

This is beautiful!

Awwww, don't cry..Think of happy memories of him, and i'm sure he wouldnt want you crying... Big Big hugs xx

This is not dumb, this is grief and we all grieve differently. I lost my Dad 6-10 and then my Mom 8-10, so I do understand the pain you are feeling. We have to grieve, but you may need a shoulder to lean on. And if there is no person handy, God is always there. Find a good Church and allow them to love on you. And you may need to talk with your Doctor about Depression, he can prescribe you some medicine that will help,I know,I take Lexapro for mine.You hang in there and do talk with your Doctor.

I lost my dad Feb 25th last year and then my brother July 23rd ...just 5 months later...I know you sadness..the answer is friends,friends,friends and family....Crying is part of the healing....I still have my little crying spells...but we will see them in heaven one day

I am so sorry for your loss ! You are going to have days like this, I still do. As time goes on we learn to cope better with the loss, we never get over it we just learn how to deal with it better.
Hang in there !! We are all here for you !

Jo

My dad died 18 years ago and sometimes I want to call him to tell him how much I love him, but I have the peace to know that I will see him again in heaven, so dont worry I know how you feel but you will see your dad again. Love you and know that we are here for you.

Never dumb to admit you're having a tough time. It'd be more dumb to keep it to yourself, I think. It may not only be your dad that's making you feel this way. Depression is everywhere, it seems. A close friend is going through a similar patch and thinking it's a recent break-up, but I suspect it's more a combination of lots of factors, including her being very tired and her age (menopausal etc). Be nice to yourself and look for things that you can be thankful for.

You are not being dumb. It takes a long time, but the bad days will gradually be replaced by happier ones.
I found a great help to me, was watching home movies of my Dad when he was healthy and happy, and I remembered those times. It was more comforting than photos, but took a long time before I could watch them. I lost him 20 years ago, and I still miss him.

Oh DeVon, Im so sorry to hear that you are so upset, and wish I could help you now. Im sure your Dad would not like you to be crying all day. Perhaps you could call a friend and talk, and remember the good and happy years you spent with your Dad. Hope your feeling better very soon. x x x

I wish I could. Feel free to let your thoughts out here, usually we do it in the Personal section.
If you have been depressed for 9 months then it sounds like it's time to see a doctor. If it's just this time of year that triggered your sadness then it will probably pass. Exercise is good for lifting the mood and just getting out of the house would probably help. Keep busy, try starting a project.

My father died 14 years ago, and I still cry at times.. but please try and keep in mind, your father would not want you let this take over your life. What ever your beliefs are, he is in peace now. Whatever took him isn't making him suffer now. Please try to remember the good times with him, and that he knew you loved/love him. Also, it isn't dumb...we cry when we are hurting. Hugs!

Oh, I am so sorry. Thought I was going to lose my Dad this week. Just know that he would want you to go on and not dwell on the lose but on the good times you shared. You never over it. I believe you just learn to cope. It can take some time. Be patient with yourself. Hang in there and embroider, embroider, embroider. Do you have software that you can take a picture of him and turn it to stitches? That would be a nice project to do in his remembrance. Know you are in my prayers.

It takes time. I lost my DH 4 years ago yesterday and I still miss him. Would like to come to you through the computer and give you a hug. Lyn

2 comments

by devon 15 Feb 2011

You don't know how much I would love that hug right now!!!

by mi30kaja 15 Feb 2011

We could hug and cry together.