moment i am writing from Coral Spring Fl, where my parents live, I thought this was going to help, but I still very confuse, We bought this beautiful front beach home in Domincan Republic, he used to call His Paradise, he said he did not need to go anywhere, not Beach Resorts or hotels, he had everything around, we have very good friends in DR but our family lives in south florida, tomorrow they have to start working, I will be alone again, I do not know what to do, should i stay in Dr? SHould I keep this house he loved so much or sell it and go back to Florida with my family, a family that i probably see from weekend to weekend? I do not know if I could afford to keep the house.I really need advice, I do not know what to do. Thank you all

Dear Mary, again my deepest sympathy . Of coarse you are still very confuse. I think it's too soon to decide where to stay. So the only thing I can suggest go back to DR to the place you loved so much together. And after trying for perhaps a few month maybe you feel less alone, maybe you feel his love and presence around you. But if you think you cannot make it there or can afford it , after trying, you can always go back to your family. my thoughts are with you, sorry I cannot give you more.just my thoughts,prayers and hugs. Gerry

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by mary51 24 May 2011

Thank you, I have been thinking the same thing, i would like to try to live alone in his Paradise as he used to call our home in DR. he kept saying to everyone he did not need to go anywhere he has all he loved in this place.

Mary, it is still very early days and much too soon for you to make huge decisions. Just wait a while. I am sure that you are still suffering from the shock. My thoughts go out to you at this time. Hugs Sarah.

I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing a loved one is never easy. :(

You've received some pretty good advice here. Take your time deciding. You won't regret it. We will be praying for you. May God help you make the right choice.

Dear Mary, My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel as I lost my DH four years ago also suddenly. He came to me before the funeral and told me to try to stay here for 3 years and then decide, but if I couldn't manage then I would know. I am still in the same place. There is so much falling down around me but I still love it here. For you it is a hard decision and a little hard for us to advise you. Just make sure you take care of yourself and cry if you feel like it. I still do. I find now the hardest thing is to learn to cook for one. We are here for you. Hugs, Lyn

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by mary51 24 May 2011

I am asking him to come to me, give me a sign but nothing has happenned, I asked him so many times what should I do if you are the first one he always came with the same answer"W

by mary51 24 May 2011

/we have a long time to think about it." Our time together was wonderful, specially this last two years as retired couple we spent 24 hour together,Our plans was to grow old together!!!! I know it is too soon but I am so confused. Thank you all for your support. Love you all.

by mary51 24 May 2011

My avatar is my DH and I.

Dear Mary. My heart goes out to you and you have my deepest sympathy. I know how you feel. As you yourself said that you are confused right now. No wonder. The whole world seems to be upside down when the daily routine has changed so drastically. Crazystitcher said it well. Give yourself time to morn but also find some of the beauty that surrounds you. Yes you will have to look for it, because right now there seems to be no enjoyment in anything. Right now your emotions are getting in the way of clear thinking. No time to make major decisions. It took me 2 years after my husbands death to be able to make clear choices and ponder the pro and cons of each. God helped me through it and I pray that you will be able to lean on him. Hugs Angie

Please accept my sympathy for your sad loss.
Like others have said, only you can make this decision, but not until you are ready both in your mind and in your heart. People often mean well when they try to encourage you to make an important change, but no one else can know all your reasons for making or not making such a big step and it is highly unlikely that you are ready yourself st this time.
I pray that God's Grace will remain with you while you make your journey through the valley of sorrow and that you will not be afraid to both cry and smile when you reach for all those special memories.
It may be good to keep busy while grieving, but it is often better to keep busy with smaller matters until you are strong again, such as a little home maintenance like oiling a few hinges or painting a gate or refreshing some curtains - all things that will not go to waste - while you are considering your choices.
It is also important to try to be kind to yourself - eating well regularly and getting out in the sunshine - maybe just for a quiet walk or a short break in a people-friendly park where you can relax on a park bench and soak in some of the beauty that still surrounds you.
Meanwhile I have added this u-tube link in memory of all those dear ones who loved the sea and have "gone home"

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by mary51 24 May 2011

THank you!

Praying for you!!!carolyn

My sympathies to you and your family. Don't make any decisions now when you are feeling his loss. Wait to make those decisions. You can always rent out the house go to Florida for a while to be with family to see how it goes. You can always decide to sell the house later if you do not wish to go back. Then again you may want to go back and stay there. Either way you can decide later when you can think better. Take it slow. My thoughts are with you Suzanne

Thank you, god bless you all.

Mary, as many have stated, take time to grieve before making any
life altering decisions. If you have many good friends in DR, they often can be as much solace and comfort as family. Where you decide to live eventually, should come from anwsering, "Where can I live with no financial stress", and "Where do I feel most relaxed, peaceful, and 'at home'".
Do not make any hasty decisions. Everything will fall into the
right perspective, as you take time to heal and become more able to focus on future plans.
May the Lord bless you each day, as you go through this transition in life.
Angel

I think selling at this moment might not be wise...however maybe you could give yourself time and lease the place out while you are with your family...no big decision should be made in times as these...Perhaps in time you may want the place and be able to afford it...Family is good...so maybe that would work until you are able to think clearly...So much love being sent your way....deanna

Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss. As everyone has said, you need to stop and give yourself time. Only you know what your expenses and finances look like. When the time comes, make a list and figure out if you can afford the house or not, but right now just lean on your family and your heavenly Father and allow yourself time to be.

Mary my advice to you Is do not make any major decisions that will affect the rest of your life at this point. You will have to give yourself more time to grieve & heal. I would stay near those who love you for a while but it is important that you not make quick decisions now. You will find you will be a lot more clearer later/Lillian

I will be praying for God to guide you in your decision...I hope you will be able to take your time in coming to a decision.....May God bless you and guide you.

Marie dear, it is much to soon for you to try to make a decision of what to do about where you live - visit with your family - see your friends - talk to all of them - perhaps they can guide you - but please pray about this.

1 images:[1]

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by mary51 23 May 2011

It is beautiful, thank you

Dear Mary, my sincere condolences at this sad time.

I cannot advise you what to do but I do think it would be a good idea to give yourself time to adjust to your new situation. If you do make decisions while you are still confused and grieving you might not take the best path for your future.

I do so hope that you find solace with your family in Florida but also with your good friends in DR - wherever you feel most settled and ready to move on will be the place for you, and you will know in your own mind and heart where that place is when the right time comes.

Meanwhile, my prayers for comfort and acceptance are with you to give you strength as you face the days ahead.

AlmaG.

Dear Mary, I am so sad for you. I do not know how long you were married but, It is never easy to lose your mate. If you can try to take some time to make your decisions . You do need to have the love and support of your friends or family but, only you can really make these hard decisons. I will be praying for you and I know many other cuties will be too.

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by mary51 23 May 2011

Thank you, Our 29th anniversary will be on December 29th. I love him so much.