Dear Cute Family,
Recently I've read a rising number of tart or snippy responses to questions or comments. This is sad, because this site is so very nice, and so are the people who visit. I want to remind you that sometimes things written quickly can be understood in more than one way. There is no facial expression, no tone of voice or body language to help us interpret the comments. So we have to take them at face value. If we made a post and then went back and studied it to try to figure out whether or not it could be taken out of context, then we would waste copious amounts of time and then end up not posting because of the stress and anxiety produced therein. So unless a member is very obviously ranting or dissing on something or someone,please give the members the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise, this site is going to fall victim to its own success of growth. This is not in response to any individual; it is just an observation that seems obvious but easily forgotten.I wish you all a very good day!
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NOW you know the reason WHY I lurk, stopped posting freebie links and only post now & again BECAUSE of all this!!!!
5 comments
by tinfriend
24 Sep 2011
No, I'm not 'back' but am still lurking - because of all these reasons!! :-(
by lindalee757
24 Sep 2011
lol-nice to see you lurking tinfriend =O)-I love your lil mouse icon-pop in from time to time =O) ~linda~
by justonlyme
25 Sep 2011
You all should come back. A "hen party" isn't as much fun without all of the hens. Some of us just need to play nicer!!
51954My mama taught me, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
2 comments
by justonlyme
25 Sep 2011
So did mine. I do a very good job of shutting up most of the time. This just was weighing on me too much to not say anything. It is actually quite comforting to know that we are not alone.
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6030I love this site and enjoy being a part of you all. I have asked advice and help many times and have received perfect good advice from alot of cuties, it is the way one takes it in, I don't think anyone wants to hurt anyones feelings or want to be smarter then the other,like 'I know it all' NO, we here to enjoy this cyber family we have and we should remain like a family instead or getting at each others throat. everyone trys to help in which ever way they can. This is a beautiful site which is owned by Miss V only, who has given us so much, we should appricate it (or it would cost us hundreds of dollars for designs). I love you all and lets be a family. Have a blessed day.
1 comment
by terriweistra
23 Sep 2011
Love you too and you have a splendid day :) I love this site too, it has become my daily companion
6030I'm new here and haven't noticed nastiness, thank God... so far.... I know site is under construction and it's difficult for some people to be patient... (not me, because I'm not looking for more designs; I got way too many already. I just like to look at them, u know :O) and see the projects and all the crafty stuff :)
Anyway, when a couple of weeks ago I noticed that the "maintenance" was over, I posted something about "improved site", and that I was glad about it, but I didn't actually made sure it was improved... as I said I'm new... I just figured out it must be. I didn't mean to be sarcastic...
I enjoy spending time here as it is.
3 comments
488Guilty! I guess Veronika is a big girl and can handle the nasty comments, I sometimes write comments quickly. I only have a small window of time to visit here. So I will be less vocal. Sorry to all the Cuties, I do love this place and don't wish to offend.
1 comment
24276About the self appointed monitors.......... Reminds me many, many years ago my husband and I managed a mobile home community. This was a family community, but the persons living in the "adult" section thought of it as their own personal community. We were new, so we would listen and then do our own thing. Things we were paid to do. Well, the kicker came when they brought me a list of homes that were in need of either cleaning or repair or yard maintenance. I handed it back to them and told them that it was our job to access the community and make these judgements, not their's. They were livid. So a month or so later we had a meeting with the owner and this community. They told him of my answer and handed him the list. He looked at me, tore the list in half and put it in the trash. "As she said, that's her job." I agree that monitoring this group is Miss V's job, not members. Anyone who thinks something is wrong should write her, not post their objections. Or at the very least send a pm to the person who they are objecting to. Don't wash it in public.
2 comments
by lindalee757
22 Sep 2011
LOL-isn't life grand! Hope the the "adults" didn't ravage you and your husband for doing your jobs. Unfortunately, it's like that no matter where you are or what you do-that's what's great about being my own boss-I only answer to me!!
by lindalee757
22 Sep 2011
BTW-did the "appointed ones" bother you anymore after that list got ripped in half and recycled? lol
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70914I agree! There have been some pretty passionate postings back and forth when someone doesn't agree and it only gives hard feelings and has even caused some to stop coming to the site. Please be kind and remember, not everyone has the same sense of humor or understanding of phrases used in different countries. Just play nice and enjoy all the fun and designs.
33580I agree with you. I have looked at a lot of these coments and so many think it is their job to montor what people have designed. I go by what I have lived by. If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.
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15907You are sooooo right. This is a lovely place.(-:
1 comment
by moyed
22 Sep 2011
:). We should all take note and be kind to one another. Only offer advice if asked for, and 'if you cant say anything nice, then say nothing at all'.:))hugs Helen
48168I think every now and again someone takes something the wrong way. That someone might just be having a bad day. It is a shame but these things happen. I have also been a victim in the past but because of some very kind Cuties all was forgotten quickly. I love this site and thank you to all for making it what it is. Sarah.
255054So true. Perhaps the person posting the comment should add a Smiley face so that others KNOW not to take the comment the wrong way. hugs n roses to all, Meganne
3 comments
by lindalee757
22 Sep 2011
Smiley face it is Meg-altho, my smiley is a bit different-it's what I have used for years & I also use LOL to let everyone know what I say isn't malicious =O) ~SMILE~
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19430The responses to this post very on target. I am new and have been reading backward through posting to catch up quicker. Seems there are a few self appointed site monitors taking other members to task. This is Ms V's job not members. I really enjoy the site but wish all members were considerate all the time. This is a lovely group and wish it to continue. Flowers to you all for saying what I wanted to.
shesgr(een)
15 comments
by jofrog2000
22 Sep 2011
This site is basically self-monitored. We all came into this hobby wanting to create beautiful things. But there are some rules to it that are just learned from othere-no handbook. So if some think those who point out illegal designs or illegal sharing are "heavies", how else are we to learn the rules to go by? If there were no flower levels, the longest here would be indistinguishable from the rest. Doesn't make them bad, makes them better informed.
by jofrog2000
22 Sep 2011
(ran out of space) are "heavies",it's just that they are trying to teach others what they have learned. Is that not part of the reason we are here?
by lindalee757
22 Sep 2011
Welcome to cute "shesgr".I just want to comment on one line of your response and give a thumbs up.You are spot on with the wordsa "few self appointed site monitors taking other members to task. This is Ms V's job not members"-cont.
by lindalee757
22 Sep 2011
There are a few that are that way-whether they realize what they are doing or not-and if you go against them 100 sheep will eat you alive-just shrug um off and enjoy the rest =O) ~linda~
by meganne
22 Sep 2011
Sorry Newbies, but Miss V does have several Site Monitors here, not self appointed, but by request and familiarity with her wishes.
Overall she expects us to run our own show and do the right thing by other members.
BUT,
If there is EVER any serious problem, or a post thread gets out of hand, nasty or vicious, most of us "Oldies" will report directly to Miss V for her to handle the problem. At which time she usually will remove the whole thread, if it starts up again the instigator risks being permanently removed from the site.
So dear Cute Sisters instead of complaining about the Site watch dogs, be grateful they are here, without them keeping an eye on things this site could become just like some others I have heard about where viciousness and nastiness abound, where there is no respect for fellow members, and no thought for their feelings.
Hugs and roses to all from "The Devil's Advocate" and Peacemaker, Meganne
by meganne
22 Sep 2011
overly nasty or vicious post and things start getting out of hand, then us "Oldies" will report directly to Miss V and she will usually remove the whole post. If it starts up again, the instigator risks being permanently being removed from the site.
So instead of complaining about the site watchdogs, perhaps being grateful they are here would be more appropriate because without them this site could end up just like many others I have heard about, where members are nasty and abusive towards other members, where there is no respect for their differences and a total disregard if feelings get hurt. This is usually not tolerated here and truly nasty or cruel members will be reported to Miss V for her to decide how she will deal with them. I truly believe that is why this site is so popular, because people care for, respect and love their fellow members.
Hugs and roses to all, from the
Devil's Advocate and (hopefully) Peacemaker, Meganne
by meganne
22 Sep 2011
So instead of complaining about the site watchdogs, perhaps being grateful they are here would be more appropriate because without them this site could end up just like many others I have heard about, where members are nasty and abusive towards other members, where there is no respect for their differences and a total disregard if feelings get hurt. This is usually not tolerated here and truly nasty or cruel members will be reported to Miss V for her to decide how she will deal with them. I truly believe that is why this site is so popular, because people care for, respect and love their fellow members.
Hugs and roses to all, from the
Devil's Advocate and (hopefully) Peacemaker, Meganne
by meganne
22 Sep 2011
bers, where there is no respect for their differences and a total disregard if feelings get hurt. This is usually not tolerated here and truly nasty or cruel members will be reported to Miss V for her to decide how she will deal with them. I truly believe that is why this site is so popular, because people care for, respect and love their fellow members.
Hugs and roses to all, from the
Devil's Advocate and (hopefully) Peacemaker, Meganne
by meganne
22 Sep 2011
I truly believe that is why this site is so popular, because people care for, respect and love their fellow members.
Hugs and roses to all, from the
Devil's Advocate and (hopefully) Peacemaker, Meganne
by airyfairy
22 Sep 2011
Please Meganne, tell me why your answer is all split up. I see each post is 4 lines. Is this how it will be or do you think it is a mistake with the upgrading? Just curious. Sarah.
by meganne
23 Sep 2011
Problem with the upgrade Sarah. I had typed the whole message and lost the lot when I hit submit, so I had to re-type it, copy & paste in sections. :-)))
68Its hard to realize, sometimes, that behind every post there is somebody who is fighting their own stress levels. Its the world we live in. I love this site and enjoy being a part of it. When, or IF, the time ever comes that I can't be objective or have lost the enjoyment, I'll turn away. I've seen the negative, but focus on the positive as much as I can. Thanks for posting the 'reality check.'
7419So true, it can be very daunting for newbies. I have on a few occasions seen comments or IMO aggressive responses which did not have tobe made. But I also know that there are more nice cuties then less nice ones. Thankyou for taking the time to mention the above, your definately on my Nice Cutie List :)
Best wishes to you and * for all
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255318230It has been an interesting week or so. Thank you for this message, for some it will fall on deaf ears. For the rest of us - we probaby did not need reminding. Does everything become political? Not cute - cause we won't let it! Live Laugh Download Stitch! christine and good wishes for all!
173695I agree, as you realize we can't see those facial expressions, or actually know each other, don't immediately act like you've been stabbed and lash out. So many small remarks that could have been explained or smoothed over became armegeddon, and the responses were worse than the original statement (whatever it was). And some were meant to hurt, and ended up driving people away. We need to remember to act like adults and if we need something clarified, we ask.
32948You are so very correct and I do agree with you. I do have to mention though that the differences in msnners of speech which vary from country to country often allow for one to 'misunderstand' what someone is actually saying.
I made a remark on a post the other day, which I thought was caring and kind and it was taken out of context because she didn't understand my manner of speaking (South African)
There will always be differences of opinion when you have such a varied bunch of people from different countries, cultures, etc., and perhaps we all need to take a short break before we take umbrage at a remark which could be and probably is very innocent and is simply being read incorrectly because of our differences.
Bless you sweetheart, I hope you have a great week!
7 comments
by terriweistra
22 Sep 2011
Ha, ha Sarah!!! I owe you another BIG THANK YOU for rescuing me, I would have just subsided into the ether and hurt quietly!!! :)
by airyfairy
22 Sep 2011
Terri - when I came to SA over 40 years ago I was horrified with the word 'shame' and how it was used. I now of course use it all the time - in the SA context. Sarah.
by terriweistra
22 Sep 2011
I have lived here all my life and 'shame' has always been a South Africanism I suppose. I would never in my wildest dreams have thought that that word would cause anybody any consternation, which is why I said that we need to allow for differences in the manner in which we (Cuties) from all over the world speak. An innocent remark, expressed with care/love/etc., can be taken up incorrectly and then the feathers can and will fly!!! Bless you babe, I hope other people will read this and take note of our differences and 'allow' us all our foibles and differences with wording. Hope you have a splendid day!!!!
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9483Nice reminder. I posted a longer message but think it went into cyber world. LOL *4U all
4077I agree - Sometimes I write something and it doesn't
come out the way I intended and if in a hurry even more so. I notice some people have the ability to write conversationally and the emotion and sentiment carries thru. I am working on being more
careful with the written word.
This is a good reminder to all of us.
Thanx,
PS Been to busy lately to read or write much so not sure what this is in reference too but I'm sure we
all miscommunicate sometimes.
Hugs
Linda
37638I know when I type something here I try to edit it before posting. My fingers get ahead of my brain at times and I mis-spell words. You are right we don't want things to be taken wrong. I sometimes put an LOL in things I write so hopefully everyone knows it isn't being mean. *4U and hope every cutie is having a great day....
1 comment
by airyfairy
22 Sep 2011
I also reread what I have written. I just wish the "edit" tab was still available.
4077You are so right about this. Even spelling sometimes goes haywire when you type quickly. Thanks for the words. Have a lovely day.
21543You are so right. Thank you for putting this out so well. I ponder long over my postings hoping to make sense to all who read them.
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