Hmmmmm well it's update time - had my 'craft fair' yesterday with my new best friend (yeah right) sure enough she showed up right on time and proceeded to take over! No matter how I arranged my quilts and stuff she re=arranged them! Now we all know that 'biker babes' have a tendency to tell it like it is but I quickly lost my fight. She just kept on doing what she wanted as if it was her show. She even went so far as to CHANGE my display quilt!!!! DH built me several of these pvc pipe frames that go up in a flash to display quilts, really cool. Anyway she decides that the quilt I have hanging is not as good as my biker tshirt quilt. Soooooo she goes on and on and on until we finally have to put that one up. Soooooo then as it turns out the as---les that held this craft fair never even advertised it, sooooo nobody showed up. I was stuck with this bimbo all damn day for absolutely nothing! Oh yeah then she brings 2 of her quilts to sell. Now I'm pretty much a stickler when it comes to making a 'quilt' and what she had was - are you ready - A LONG NARROW STRIP OF FABRIC WITH ANOTHER STRIP OF FABRIC ON THE BACK, quilted and bound. Now I'm sorry in what world is a strip of fabric called a quilt. Anyway I was pooped when I got home (which by the way early) and actually took a nap. Glad it's over and now how do I get rid of my new best friend! Whew what a day.......:(

Pleased that you 'survived' with your new best friend. So sorry to hear that the fair was not a huge success!!! Hope you manage to break all ties with her soon. Unfortunately some people are really thick skinned. Sarah.

Life's experiences teach us a lot, especially who our "Best Friends are not. Sorry it was such a bummer for you. How in the world did you get hooked up with this BF anyway? Lose her and have no regrets./Lillian

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by bikermomfl 11 Jun 2012

I helped her pick green fabric in walmart one day and poof I'm stuck with her, guess I'll keep my mouth shut in the future! (giggle)

My daughter brings her mother along. lol - if straight talk does not work, no talk will work or is necessary. Live Laugh Download Stitch!

Think you'll have to hit her in the head with a ball bat to get her attention and then tell her again to get lost. Hate this for you as it must be so upsetting. If all else fails sic you dh on her or I'll loan you mine (x Marine Drill Instructor), believe me he can get his point across. Gook Luck!

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by bikermomfl 11 Jun 2012

OMG I'd almost pay to watch this. can I borrow him, I'll feed him before I send him back home ROTFLMAO

I always avoid in hurting others feelings. Just the way I was brought up, but do not tell this lady of any future shows or craft fairs that you plan to participate in. She is a real leach!!!

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by bikermomfl 11 Jun 2012

I'm very much like you I just keep my mouth shut but do think I'll keep any info to myself as you suggest. Maybe she'll just go away.......

Well, my dear, things did not go well. If confrontation is not your thing, then make avoidance your ally.

Refuse to do business with her. If she asks you do quilt a quilt for her, refuse. If she calls on the phone, simply say that you no longer want her business and that she needs to find someones else and hang up. No matter what she says...even if she calls with some unrelated remark like "wasn't that fun?", just repeat the "I no longer want your business..." and hang up. In other words, don't engage in conversation with her. Don't answer questions, explain, say apologetic words. If she calls back after you hang up, as soon as you recognize her voice, hang up! Avoid her! If she calls and your husband answers, have him tell her the same..."She no longer wants your business" and hang up. If you see her, walk in the other direction. Role play with a friend and practice saying the words you want to say. For some reason that kind of practice makes it easier to do.

Life is too short to spend time around toxic people. It may not seem like it now, but at some point in time when you tell people this story, everyone, including yourself, will laugh hysterically about it! As they say, it's one for the books!

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by bikermomfl 11 Jun 2012

good advice, if only I could follow it....

Just reminds me of the person I mentioned in your earlier post. I am sure he had no friends and would hang on every word we (DH and me) said, Kept ringing and wanting to visit etc all the time. Invited him to visit relations and then he thought he was part of the family and started to call me sis, I soon put a stop to that. After quite a few incidents I just had to tell him "You go your way and we'll go ours" We don't see much of him now, but there is a bit of a rift amongst my family and me. Shirley

Sorry you had a bad day. Been there done that and it's no fun. I went to a craft fair and the lady next to me would lure anyone that looked like they were headed to my booth to hers. She knew alot of the people who came to the show and she would sit there and say "Come see what I have over here" "Let me show you something I have." Not quite what you had to deal with but enough for me to understand. But I did have the opportunity to meet some nice people there so the day was not a total loss.

Give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she truly thought she was being helpful after all your work. Some people just don't know the correct way to "help" and maybe she was uncomfortable with the lack of people there and things to actually keep busy. Good luck next time and hope it is better organized by the ones putting it on.

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by bikermomfl 11 Jun 2012

I think you're probably right I know in my heart she means well but still she kinda gets on my nerves.....

So sorry you had a double-dose frustrating day. I feel for you!

Oh my! Sorry you had such a rough day. Guess you will have to make up excuses that you're busy or have appointments when she calls or stops over. It is such an uncomfortable situation when things like this happen and it's not our nature to be rude. I do understand and know what you're going through. I've been there too. Hugs Susan

What a day - I feel for you.

thanks for the update. I was thinking of you and wondering how you would deal with her. So it didn't turn out well. Yes you should get rid of her and aske for a refund for the show 'cos they didn't advertise. Many you can fill in a complain with some other people ? Together you can have more influence. Better luck next time !

If you paid for a booth at this show, and they didn't advertise, I would ask for a refund!! I have the same problem with "NO" as you, so can unfortunately understand exactly what you experienced. I have one of those "friends". I want to run away every time she starts calling. Now that this is done and over with, you can relax and reclaim your preferences!

Maybe I'm a biker babe and don't know it cuz here goes:
This all reminds me of my favorite Ann Landers saying: No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.
And remember also, No. is a complete sentence.

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by bikermomfl 11 Jun 2012

good advice but easier said than done.

Just watch your caller ID and do not answer the phone! Sounds like she is overbearing and has no friends. If she really gets on your nerves, most likely, she gets on everyons's nerves! You may have to get very firm with her even if it sounds ugly to you. Sometimes you have to be ugly to get the point across! I would try nice first though! Anyone that does alot of crafts like most of us do, has very little personal time to themselves. I am not married so I am only obligated to projects that I promise but those that have families do not usually have alot of extra time. I am sorry that the fair was not advertised and the show was not busy! Maybe you will do better at the next one! At least you do have a headstart on the projects already made.
When I had a full time job and also had a Craft Store of my own, I had no time for myself must less my friends. My son took up all of any extra time that would magically appear. It was very little but he was also working both places also, just not at the same time. Hugs and smiles! Linda

All you can do is ignore her the next time, and every time, she comes knocking on your door.
If she doesn't get the message then I think I would be dressing up in the most outrageous bikers outfit I could find, ride over to her house and tell her that if she expects to be your friend she has to go riding on the back of your bike with you!

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by zoefzoef 10 Jun 2012

Meganne, I like your suggestion...but what if she says "Yes" ? Drive fast & crazy and hope she thinks she does not want a friend like that!

by bikermomfl 11 Jun 2012

ROTFLMAO The only problem is most women that get ride on the back of a harley - like it! Then I'm really stuck! (giggle)

So sorry your day was a waste, but, getting home early and taking a nap was probably the BEST part of the DAY!
On one of your earlier posts before this "craft fair", you replied to my comment to be firm and say NO, that you just did not have the "nerve to do it"!
Well, I just want to tell you life gets BETTER, when you learn to say NO! I am a rather OLD lady, and I spent more than half my life wanting to please, never being able to say no to anyone. Everyone else's wishes, plans, and needs came before MINE, because I had SUCH a desire to please! It is most difficult to change ones basic personality, but giving of yourself and time continuously, you give away your "SELF", no ME time! This realization finally hit me when I became totally exhausted, very depressed and unhappy, due to all of the commitments and demands starring me in the face each day! My health began to suffer, so I KNEW from that point I had to practice saying no, politely, but FIRMLY, and sticking to that decision!
What was so amazing to me was I was surprised, as to how little difference it made to anyone, when I said "No, I can't!" They weren't the least upset, but went on their merry way. I never lost any friends, because of saying no. I truly think they respected me more for not being the "doormat" to be used "walked on", so to speak!
It is wonderful to get that "feel good" on a regular basis from being helpful and kind, but not to the point it makes you lose that "joy"! Muster up that courage to take care of "self", by learning to say "NO", when you sincerely do NOT want to do it! Life is TOO short to waste being miserable! Practice saying no! You may find it helps you enjoy life so much more!!
I DID, and I am STILL a loving, caring, and charitable lady!! Best wishes for your next "craft fair"!!
Hugs,
Angel

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by justonlyme 10 Jun 2012

I need to remember your words. NO is one of our first words as a baby, and one of the hardest when we get to be big girls. Thank you.

by grandmeaux1 10 Jun 2012

This is so true. I've never been able to say no and still not there yet. But I'm working on it. I've learned that you can't make everyone happy no matter what you do.

by bikermomfl 11 Jun 2012

I like you am also getting old. I hurt much of the time (2 back surgeries, hand, elbow and heel surgeries) and don't have much fight left in me but guess I better learn how. I know this lady meant well but it was just a bit much...

I too thought of you all day....glad you wrote about the update. Did she sell any of her two quilts ? Sorry she was such a nudge. Don't tell her when you have your next sale :D

xox

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by zoefzoef 10 Jun 2012

XOX ..what does that mean ?

by pennifold 10 Jun 2012

kisses and hugs. Love Chris

by tracypullen 10 Jun 2012

x's and o's are hugs and kisses. I've loved them since I was a girl and my daddy signed a card with them.

Sorry about your day, Next time find a real friend that will set up for the day, help pay for the space and tell the lady you don't have room for her, that you have other plans.

Tell her that you had a miserable time. Tell her that in the past, at least if the day was a flop you got to spend the day alone with your husband. Tell her you tried to share the booth but you won't be doing it again because you never realized how important that time alone with him was to you and you found yourself resenting her. Don’t wait for her to ask again!
You can't always rely on others to stand up for you and her walking all over you like that will not change no matter who you ask to fix it. Only you can change your relationship with other people.
You can hope she sees craft shows as a waste of time and money. She may never want to do it again, unless she enjoys "redecorating" for other people.
Sorry it was such a miserable day.

ah I am sew sorry that you had to go through this & the sale can only be better next time! You have learned what works & that she doesn`t & if you want to do it again with her right beside you then say nothing otherwise you have to come up with the words to get het to understand! Sometimes people have thick skins & don`t get the message when your trying to be polite! You have to tell her in plain English Listen if you want to sell stuff you have to get your own Booth! This is BUSINESS!

Sorry you had a bad day. I was thinking about how you were getting on. I would keep any future plans to myself tell her nothing Nothing. Put yourself first and tell her to Bugger Off. Hugs Joyce

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by bikermomfl 10 Jun 2012

I think you've got the best idea for me, keep my mouth shut around her. ;-)

Sorry you had a bad day, here is a hug for you.

1 images:[1]

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by asterixsew 10 Jun 2012

This is jolly DeVon

by bikermomfl 10 Jun 2012

I would truly loooooove this hug..

by zoefzoef 10 Jun 2012

what a cute picture..would make me almost wishing I had a bad day too..(then I would get also such a nice picture)

by grandmeaux1 10 Jun 2012

Love this picture. Everyone needs a hug sometimes even those who don't think they do.

Karen - I just found your original posting on this subject. Please ignore my response below. What a nerve she has!! Direct her to this site and let her read peoples comments - then maybe you need not say anything at all - we have said it for you!

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by katydid 10 Jun 2012

wow!!

by shirley124 10 Jun 2012

What a great idea.

I was also thinking of you and wondered how you got on with the possible intruder as I call her. The nerve is amazing to me. Poor you, but firmness is needed or she will plague you for ever more I fear.
Doubly sad with no advertising and sales.
Wish you the best of luck for the next one

Oh Dear! Poor you. You have earned your place in heaven for your patience.
Loads of Hugs Bev

OMG... I can't believe it !!!!
What were you thinking. You'll never get rid of her now.
You have to stand up for yourself.... and your husband didn't ask her to leave??

Oh and how dreadful that the show wasn't even advertised... what a bummer of a day all round.

All I can say is better luck next time.

Hi, I kept thinking about you yesterday. I am sorry that you ou had such a awful day. Good Luck with the next session whenever that is. So sorry to hear that the 'quilt' lady appeared, I will think about that one, but knowing the great people here you will get some brilliant ideas of what to do. You have not put what your husbands reaction was.

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by bikermomfl 10 Jun 2012

My hubby was truly created in heaven, he just sat quietly and worked on his lap top. He would smile from time and time and raise a single eyebrow, then shake his head and go back to his 'puter.

So sorry to hear of your day and the way she took over. I guess what I would do is be sure to pay for caller ID on the phone and have an answering machine. Do not pick up when she calls. Do not return her calls. If she comes to the door in person, do not answer the door. Eventually she will get the message. Good Luck, Hugs, Mary

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by liz92b 10 Jun 2012

nope, that kind doesn't even realize there -is- a message!!
BikerMom - I feel for you!!!!

That easy to get rid of your new friend. Introduce her to one of you other friends and she will know how to send her. LOL Love Marie

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by bikermomfl 10 Jun 2012

I do have a friend who is very dear to me who has balls made of steel (pardon the termonology) maybe I'll just have her handle it. ROTFLMASO. Thanks for caring....

Sorry things did not turn out as planned. I have had successful craft stall days and then some where NOTHING was sold - it is soooooo demoralizing. Now I do not know whether you really want to get rid of your NBF - but always remember that hurt relationships may be difficult to repair. I wish you well with your next stall. Be firm though - first impressions of your stall are important. You cannot display inferior quality quilts or people will not return.