When are we overstepping the Line? I have always felt it is rude to decorate someone else's house. My friend's mother-in-law actually came into her house and hung a painting she had just finished on her living room wall! I would never want to do that. But, yet, we make things for our friends and family all the time. I try to make things that they will like, like bags, and kids' toys. But, when we make quilts, and pillow, are we stepping over that "DO NOT decorate someone else's house? Are making a set of placemats over-stepping that line? How about hand towels? How do you other Cuties decide?

Yes make whatever. but don't force them to like it. let the reciever decide how and when and where they will use the item or items you have made. lynne

The FIRST time I ever talked back to my Mother and stood up for myself I was 21. It was after she made 3 decorating "suggestions" as she made them, moving furniture and rehanging pictures. On the third try, "Why did you hang this here, it would look so much better over there," I replied, "because this is MY apartment and that's where I wanted it." After that she made suggestions more nicely! AND I took some of them, as she was a quite good amateur decorator.

1 comment

by greysewist 20 Oct 2013

Welcome to Cute, sewkit!

I always consider their hints they give out...like if you were working on a quilt and they said something like it would look lovely in my room, or I bet that would look lovely in green...that could be a hint thy like it ad in green...Thank goodness my family is blunt and just tells me they want this...My mother asked for 1 embroidery towel (with a frog) for her Birthday..Heck I made her a whole set in yellow (cause that's her new favorite color).. so subtle hints is how I go for gifts...even though they may b out of season at the time...

Can one assume this was not cleared with the resident first? Very shaky ground there, I would suggest. Is your friend talking about moving interstate? LOL. As others have said, making something for someone else with thoughts of their likes in mind still leaves them the option of displaying/using the item or not, but placing something on someone else's wall without prior approval would be way over the top, in my opinion.

I think if we make something as personal as a quilt or pillow we aren't trying to redecorate their home.We want them to have something special made just for them. You can over think this, If it wasn't embroidered and you bought it at the store is that also overstepping? I think not. Out of all the things you have given have you ever been told No thank you this doesn't fit my decor. If so I think you need to get some appreciative new friends.

Oh my that is one mother-in-law who totally overstepped. I believe when giving any gift one should make it with the other person in mind. What I mean by that is if you are a dog lover and I am a cat lover, I would not present you with a gift of towels with embroidered cats. That would be giving something to you that I love. But a towel with doggies on it would be what you love. Also when I give a gift I do not expect a person to display it as I would or display it at all. That is putting conditions on gift giving, when this happens the gift is not truly given from the heart.

I don't think gift giving is overstepping the line. But making changes to someone else's house is. I have a SIL whom I love dearly rearranged my kitchen for me with my knowledge or permission. That was overstepping my line.

A gift is just a "gift", no strings attached! We would like, but can NEVER expect anyone to understand the amount of time and love that went into the creation of their "gift". Neither can we hold our breath, while hoping they will be thrilled, appreciative of, or find our gift useful! We can't expect everyone to like our gift, but can hope we get enough joy from those that do, to keep us enjoying our craft and continue to create!
Overstepping the line only comes when one creates an item, expecting the receiver to display it, or use to decorate their home. It IS rude to decorate someone's house, unless asked. It is just as rude to give a gift with certain expectations! I remember a saying, "Don't ever expect TOO much; then you WON'T be disappointed!" LOL
It's nice to have gifts appreciated, but once given, it is the receiver's, to love, hate, use, or "lose"! Whatever the receiver's choice, don't let it bring "rain to your sunny day"!! Keep on stitching'!!
Hugs, Angel

2 comments

by hightechgrammy 11 Oct 2013

Wise words, my friend!

by crafter2243 12 Oct 2013

Could have not said it better.
I always love a gift given to me, because to me it means caring. I give with the same thought. However it would never occur to me to hang up the embroidered towels in a friends bathroom. Ha, ha.

oh, my goodness!!! Your friend has a Mother -in -law problem that will be an on going problem forever unless she addresses it, and I know it will be a touchy subject. my daughter and I have decorated 3 houses together over the years and I even found her the perfect match for her furniture store where she buys from. The owner's daughter is a spitten image of my daughter and I knew they would be a perfect match and they were. I help my daughter with fabrics for furniture and window treatments, accessories ,etc. When she nixes something , we just move on. I was a textiles and clothing major in college and she values my opinion as I am never trying to make a sell for a commission. remember the interior designers are commissioned and the store owners are the one to deal with. Kay