THIS IS A VERY DEICATE PERSONAL QUESTION...please answer carefully as it is going to help me when I try and help this young lady....have you had any experience dealing with abortion whether it is yourself or someone else...
I know it is a personal question and please feel free to pm me instead, BUT, this young lady is having serious problems and I have watch her go down hill for awhile...signs of depression...drinking....broken relationships....rejection of her child(ren)...leaving for periods of time without notice or no one knowing anything...suicidal thoughts....I myself just learned about it and now I can see where this has caused such a issue in her life and can understand why she has become this person she is today......
How do I let on I know and try to help her as best as I can without being arrogant or unfeeling...
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God can get her through this, if she hasn't aborted, there are wonderful families that would take her baby. if she's aborted there's nothing she has done that God won't forgive he for other then blastpheming the Holy Spirit. Jesus loves her. she is special to Him. Show her you care and lead her Christ.
472848Jrob gave some very good tips. I think the only thing we can do is pray . I think it's important she can see she's important for someone, she's probably will see herself as a failure someone who is useless. I knew a young woman who was suicidal and succeeded in suicide. She always had the feeling she was trouble for others and was of no use. Unfortunally we were not able to let that self vision disappear. But I learned that we have to teach the young people who feel that way, that they are special too. and are important as a human being like everybody else. I can imagine when she does not see how to raise a child or has no possibilities to raise a child she did choose for an abortion. And to take that decision needs a lot of courage too. please let's pray she will understand she's worth it to be here and she will accept there's a life for here too. Prayers and hugs, Gerry
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743288The love of my life is a beautiful 12 year old girl that was almost aborted. I thank God for her every day of my life. She excels at everything she does. I pray that the person will think of the future and not just the moment. There is help out there for her if she will reach out.
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7854This lady should have received extensive counselling at the time of the termination. It is a hugely traumatic event in her life and will continue to be so. The worst time will be when the baby would have been born. What she needs now in non-judgmental support. To know that someone can empathise with what she is suffering will help enormously, but she will still need professional help.
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140717Deana, you have been given good advise & support. We will be praying that this lady can move on with her life. She has a wonderful friend in you!
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35675Dear Deana, what a great friend indeed you are. I agree with Jerrilyn this young woman needs professional help. I'm so thankful and glad you can be there with her in her time of need. I don't have any personal dealings with abortion so I pray you will find the help you seek for this young lady. I see you say that you know about it, but she may not be aware you know of it. Honesty is the best policy, I'd just tell her lovingly that you have heard of her problems and let God be your guide with words of wisdom. Love, prayers and blessings to you both. Chris
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234497I am so deeply sorry this is happening to this woman, and so glad that you are the caring person I know you to be, and trying to help her. Jerrilyn gave you some great advice, I hope she can find a professional to counsel her as well as getting support and love and forgiveness from you. I saw this same thing happen many years ago, when a friend was in this same situation. She and her fiancee were still in college, his father was paying his tuition, it was a mistake because they had been careful. They thought his dad would blow his stack, stop paying for college, how would they get good jobs without graduating, how would they afford a baby without jobs, round and round. She thought it would be no big deal, really, it was nothing yet, only a missed period...but it ended up haunting her for years, caused some very real problems, including the marriage eventually ending in divorce by her choice, not his. He never stopped loving her, he never remarried. She never married again either, never even had serious relationships. Some women may be able to go through this procedure without seeming to have any problems, but for some the guilt over what they have chosen is hidden very deep, and too hard to bear, causing depression and all kinds of other problems even years later. I hope and pray she can find help, and can come to forgive herself, and love and care for the children that she did bring into the world, not beat herself up for the one that she didn't. It can't be undone, only forgiven. I pray you find a way to approach her that works, some of the others have given good advice about that. I am so very sorry for this situation, and for all women who make this choice without being very sure they can live with it, make the choice without really exploring options, because they feel they can't do anything else. I'll keep both of you in my good thoughts and prayers, please know I care. Hugs, Marji
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by camylow
28 Dec 2013
I am afraid that is her problem..she cant stay committed to anyone or thing....depressed..and she did think of suicide....hopefully she will call the numbers jrob gave me...
33451I can't really give any advise for this young lady but I will send up prayers for her to get through this.......It's nice to know that you are being a friend for her & trying to help.
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85867Yes, I agree with jrob. There are so many different emotional and physical aspects that she could be going through.
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463413Direct her to trained counselors. This is a very serious and real problem for her as I can tell you understand. Here is an 800 number that can help her. It is a pro life group, but they are there to help and many of them are there because of what they have been through.
Help get the post-abortive support you need by calling our hotline now at 1-800-366-7773 or contact us online. All calls are completely confidential and are answered by trained professionals who can provide non-judgmental counseling, direct you to support groups and simply listen.
There are also other groups if this is not a fit for her:
Post-Abortive Resources:
There are many good organizations offering confidential counseling and post-abortion assistance.
• PROLIFE Across AMERICA: 1-800-366-773
• Project Rachel: 1-888-456-HOPE| www.hopeafterabortion.com
• National Life Center: 1-800-848-LOVE (5683) | www.nationallifecenter.com
• Conquerors – Minneapolis/St Paul: 612-866-7643
• Marion Project (Catholic) – Minneapolis/St. Paul: 651-291-4515
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158716If you know this person well, have a visit with her and just say that you have notice that she hasn't been herself, ask if she is okay. Then ask if there is anything you can help with. If she is wanting help she might open up to you. If she also doesn't invite you in then ask her if she would like to go out for coffee or something one day. Been out of her place might be a better setting as home life might not be so good or that might be the problem. Hope that helps you and hopefully she gets some help also. Will also say a few prays for you both.
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9792oooh that is a sticky subject. I've had dealings with abortion personally and I have to say this is a pray about it situation, to me. I think now that you know the in's and out's of this young lady, the best thing you can do for her, is prayer. Ask her if you can pray WITH her. If she rejects, then you know to prayer for her privately. I really don't have an answer, but I DO know the Lord will guide you if you ask him. :)
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