It is all about perception…
Recently, I have been a part of a movement to get Cuties minds off the “closed for maintenance” DBC and get them stitching and participating in other ways here at Cute. It seems some may have misconstrued the intentions we all had – which was encouraging our hobby – embroidery stitching.Some erroneously feel they are being called out for implied or supposed “wrongs” here. There are well over 9000 unique IP addresses (users) every single day that visit this site. That essentially means that there are nearly 9000 freebie hunters that may never type so much as a “thanks” on any page. They are welcome here just as the ones that post daily are welcome. This site thrives because of the many different ways it can benefit each user.
As has been the case since I joined this site many years ago, Cuties try to help other Cuties find their way around. All of the Cuties, that post regularly, try to help correct misconceptions and guide new users to answers.
On a recent occasion, a Cutie was very confused about the benefits of a Paid Membership here. Many tried (and I think we may have failed) to help the Cutie understand. While it can be very frustrating when communications fail -- not one person posted with malice. Each person had the best interests of Cute and all the users at heart. It was not received that way.
Some Cuties have mistaken comments for criticisms. I can tell you from the Moderators – we are not criticizing in our posts. Our desire as a Moderating team is to regain and then maintain the peace and comfort this site brings to the lives of many. We all work very hard to achieve this every single day. If any of you perceive otherwise – you are sadly, mistaken. It is actually heartbreaking to me that people would believe the worst of other Cuties (it seems) all the time.
I only became a Moderator because I love this place and all my Cute friends. I really wanted this site to return to a place of kindness and love. I still want that. I believe we can achieve that too. It will take each of us changing our perceptions at times.
We must all learn to take the written message and add the love we would hope it would include. Often, it does include that love and perhaps more. I am sure there are times that some people mean to offend. Perhaps they are having a bad day. Maybe they are plagued with health issues. It is possible that they are so totally alone in this world that sadness envelops them. Regardless of their issues -- my hope is that we all learn to ignore the intended insults and delight in the love.
One of my favorite things to do here is give flowers. I love it! You don’t have to give flowers to me or anyone else – I will still give them to you. I feel good inside giving something as simple as a virtual flower to another person. Often, I look at it as a secret gift. It is so much more fun that way! I have a euphoric hope that it might just brighten someone’s day.
That said, we often use a zero flower count as a way to tell if the Cutie is new and may need help. There are many Cuties that have more flowers than I do – simply because I used to just read and add flowers – never posting. I did that for years. I would not call someone out on that – ever.
I want to apologize to any Cutie that has ever felt hurt by me. It was not my intent. It can be so very hard to post and do it in such a way as to make it easy to translate and easy to understand. As a Moderator I have had to learn to do just that. Sometimes that leaves room for misinterpretation with meaning or intent. It is an error of perception to think I am intending to cause hurt feelings – I am not.
Each day I try to look at the progress we have made to help this site become a place of peace and love. Cuties across the world help each and every day to add to the love. I have optimistic hope that the love will always overshadow the hurt. I have new hope each day that Cuties who once felt too afraid to “speak” will join in with us.
I do dream of days where there are more Projects posted than Freebie links….not because Freebies are bad but because Projects inspire me and showcase the talents of so many users here. So, if you ever see me “begging” for you to post in Projects – do not despair! It is because I delight in seeing new creativity and the lovely display of our shared hobby.
Thanks for reading this (too long to read) post.
Hugs to you all!
57675
I love looking at the projects and community also q&a. I am a member but have never posted before. I learn a lot by reading other posts. The freebies are just a plus Keep up the good work
1 comment
by rescuer
29 May 2014
Thank you for posting your first comment here. I am so glad you did. Have another flower for you garden. I do hope you post again -- soon.
184Well done rescurer, thanks to all of you that work as Moderators and assist Veronika with this great embroidery group...I have been a member for a good number of years and although this past year I haven't been on as much I still like to pop in now and then and check up on what is going on in the Cute Family ... So many of the cuties have been there when I needed them, whether to help with my embroidery projects or more importantly to cheer me up and carry me along when there have been unhappy times in my life... To all of you I am forever grateful, it is a wonderful feeling to be loved and cared about by so many "sisters" ... Glad to hear your Son is coming along nicely, one day at a time .... Hugs and much love and thanks to all you hard workers, you are doing a great job ....
1 comment
by rescuer
29 May 2014
I do miss seeing your avatar. I hope all is well with you. Thanks for caring. Hugs
27071...sometimes people need to just take a chill pill, and think that what was written, was written with a smile. This group is a fun, encouraging, supportive, VERY talented, very sweet group of people that have all come together to a place where we can share whatever is on our minds. We are a very lucky group to have a place to pop in and visit for a minute or two. I always add a flower to posts I read, sometimes I add a comment, but I don't always have time to make a comment. New people, come and also enjoy one of the best and most encouraging groups there is online! The flowers are easy to add, just click the pretty flower at the top of all posts. I did not know about that when I first joined this group. Now that I know about it, it is so exciting to watch my garden growing!! There are some awesome mods on here and Miss V is a super talented digitizer. She shares a lot of gorgeous gifts. Her sales are phenomenal! Well worth her asking prices. Just adding my 2c worth in here too. Hope I have not offended anybody, because that is not ever, ever! my intention... **FLOWERS**
1 comment
by rescuer
29 May 2014
Thank you for always giving flowers. So many really need the boost. Flowers for you too!
13216Good job at expressing what so many people would love to write. I know for myself I don't write often but try to thank folks every now and then. I don't get to spend as much time any more doing my favorite hobby but love reading what everyone else is doing.
1 comment
1208Nice to see this back to the top...we all need to be "refreshed" periodically and this is a great reminder....glad to hear your son is healing and feeling better.
1 comment
318483Very nice letter, you work very hard and do a wonderful job, thank you, have a nice day.
1 comment
21044Good to read your message over again, as a reminder of what this site is all about. Keep up the excellent work to all the Moderators and those that come here to learn and listen and not just collect free designs.
Hugs
1 comment
30656I'm glad this has been brought back into view. I hope everyone reads it.
1 comment
140717I would like to bring this post back to the top. I hope you all read it and understand the all moderators want this place to be a happy safe place to be. We want everyone to help or be helped...we do not ever intend to mislead or hurt any of you.
Note: this site will never be all things to all people. This site will never be exactly the way I want it AND at the same time, exactly the way another Cutie may want it. I am sure it is close to the way Ms. Veronika wants it. Please remember with any site confusion (for example: where to post what) -- for Ms. Veronika, English is not her first language. If the words here do not match exactly what you think they should be...it may be due to language or cultural differences. Keep in mind that this site is international. She has done all she could do to make it the way we asked her to make it.
We ALL want this site to be full of love and kindness. Know that as moderators -- we only try to help keep the peace. There is also only so much we can do. Each of us moderators have friends here -- we would much rather be part of the group instead of militant leaders. Please do not think we wish to critique or complain about every single thing you do. Remember, we are not paid any money -- at all. We are just like you, except we volunteer to keep the site clean and organized by removing things that should not be here.
In case any of you wonder -- my son is doing much better now. He still feels the "pains" of healing sometimes like when we took him to do some archery recently...but in all he is healing and very happy.
Thank you for caring.
Hugs!
4 comments
by jrob
28 May 2014
Thank you for your post. You are very good with words. It is a gift. I try to smile while I'm writing here and hope that smile translates in my words. Sometimes it works!
by basketkase
28 May 2014
I read further down and see that he broke his collarbone... Ouch!! Again I am thrilled to know he is doing better...
57675First of all, i just want to say how sorry i am for your son being hurt. That is a serious injury. i do hope it heals quickly and correctly. I will put him on our prayer list.
i have been a member here for several years. I post occasionally, as most of the time i am afraid i will offend someone accidentally. Even though i never mean to offend, typing online is NOT the same as being face to face with someone. So i hit add comment, type my message, read what i have written, and then hit delete.
the designs by cuties tab(?) was nice to have. and i am positive when it is back it will be a plus for others. for myself, i just miss seeing what everyone created. i was in awe that we have such talent here on this site.
i appreciate what you have said, but even more i appreciate what you have done. You have shown us the love a family has for each other. You have tried to make this a place we all feel welcome.
Thank you for it all.
debi
1 comment
by rescuer
12 Jan 2014
Thank you Debi. I do hope you will post and that people will see your posts as you intend them. Thank you for adding your comments here and most of all thank you for your prayers. I appreciate you.
473Thank you for such a beautifully written post. I'd also like to thank you and the other moderators that do such a wonderful job of making the site such a wonderful place to come. I am very, very shy so I'd been coming a long time before I ever worked up the courage to say anything. Maybe some of the 9000 are the same? I hope your son heals soon. Sometimes it's not easy being a mom, we'd rather hurt than have our children hurt. You're both in my prayers. Hugs, Dana
1 comment
by rescuer
12 Jan 2014
Many of us started shy and quiet -- I am sure some of the 9000+ are the same.
Thank you for the prayers -- we need them. Hugs
1239I want to thank each of you for your kind words and support. Thank you all for doing all you can to help Cute be a friendly place to call "home" every time you visit. There are so many friends here and so much love. I am very blessed to be part of such a wonderful group!
Please know I would comment to each of you individually, but my youngest child needs me. It would take at least an hour to answer all 55 comments individually. My son was recently injured on the playground at school and a special needs child with a broken collarbone...needs mom. Just know I really do care about all of you! I am thankful for each of your posts and I have read them all.
The Cute Moderators all love you and this site! I am part of a wonderful team that will continue to work to make sure this place feels warm and welcoming. Thank you -- all Cuties -- for your help!
Big Hugs!
4 comments
by airyfairy
11 Jan 2014
I hope your son recovers soon. Emma received a broken collar bone at 10 years old - riding a horse that was far too big for her. Unfortunately it never put her off and was the first accident of many. Thinking about you. Hugs Sarah.
by rescuer
11 Jan 2014
Thank you dear Sarah. I hope he can recover and heal before he re-injures himself. Hugs
by teddybear117
12 Jan 2014
Sorry to hear about your son..broken collar bones are painful..my daughter at age 10 also separated her clavicle from her septum. She was roller skating at a rink on New Years Eve and was pushed into a concrete column. They didn't have enough supervision and the other kids took advantage of the fact. I know you have your hands full taking care of you son. Hopefully you have someone there to help you. Bless you.
by rescuer
12 Jan 2014
He is in a lot of pain. Thankfully he heals well and usually quickly. This time may be different. Thank you for your understanding and kindness. I have helpers here. His brother (only a year older) has been helping the most. They are like twins and inseparable.
Hugs.
57675Great post!!!!********* some of us sometimes do not leave comments, but I sometimes just login to see the pretty projects and NEVER forget to leave a flower, projects are so inspiring that when I see them I always wind up doing some pretty things as well, Yes, I do like the freebees, but projects and advice, help is the main thing I come here for!!!!
60484When i worked for the children aide service for 15 years ,we had a motto and it was we all need a win win service and we tried hard to make that happen .Thanks for all u do for us all here and keep up the winning .when u win i win hugs Carolyn
360653Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to you and the rest of moderators and all the helpful Cuties. My machine would be in the closet collecting cobwebs if it wasn't for this site and all the posts I read. I am also blessed with special friendships which I formed through this site. I love this place and will try to read and post with smiles. May this place grow with love between the written word.
Thank you also to Miss Veronika for making it all possible
109774Well stated this is one of the best sites on my computer, and that is due to
you and all the Moderators, It is so sad that there are people that cause confussion, keep us in LINE.
love all the cutie family
Thanks
Aleene
19282Thank you for caring so attentively to the Cute garden, if we all pitch in, it will continue to grow and flourish as a safe haven for us in our sometimes challenging lives....
18403I just love to see what everyone else is making it inspires me to try to make it or something more! You are all great & kind moderators but remember that old saying that can please some of the people some of the time but you can't please all of the people all of the time! Know that I know ( & so many of us here) you are only one person doing a thankless time consuming job & doing it to the very best of your abilities I for one am thankful! hugs & blessings my very dear friend!
299559
26714Greatly said. I agree with you entirely. when I pop in from time to time, it is not always easy to answer each and every comment, within all the projects and community but all rest assured I sometimes just view only and appreciate all the lovely projects submitted. . I also love to give flowers and love them when they are given to me also. Thanks one and all. Is there a way of finding out when one joined here... hugs Kerry
1 comment
by jrob
09 Jan 2014
There used to be Kerry, but as far as I know that feature was removed with the revamp of the site, time-before-last.
25546I find this forum very friendly, informative and a great place to visit every day. I'm sure we will all be glad to have that feature back too, but seeing all the helpful folks here and really neat projects it is a great helpful place to share. There is a very diverse culture here and it's nice to learn about everyone and our projects we love. Thanks for keeping the forum up so we can communicate with one another. Sharon
23282Thank you & all the other moderators for the work you do here. I know some seem impatient with the DBC under maintenance but it has to be done. I am forever thankful of all the wonderful designs that are shared here as I can't digitize. The posts are usually friendly that I've noticed otherwise. Mostly we are a happy family here that help each other out when/if we can. Thank you too to Miss Veronkia (I hope I got the name right) for having this wonderful site.
12407Thank you for your guiding words and wisdom, we love the site as we do you and the other moderators that us with our questions and troubles.. marian
45918Dear Rescuer, you are such a remarkable lady, and I agree with everything you said. I consider Cute my family, cuties were there for me when I needed the most. Love and hugs, Yoriko
88650Thank you for your post. It was very well said. Thanks to you and to the other moderators for the time and effort you put into this site to make it the best of all on the web. Hugs, Mary
33871We Cuties love this site and all you and the other moderators do . to keep love and peace among us. God bless you all.
Hugs Pam.
30988Thank you and the other moderators for all you do. I do not think that you could 'hurt' anyone , even if you tried. Your knowledge and patience is a joy. Hugs Sarah.
255054
463419Thank you for thoughtfully worded comments on what could be a big problem, if we do not read the posts as they are written and keep our feeling out of the mix. There are many different languages spoken and written on Cute, so we must take into account misunderstandings of wording or translations. I love this site and each cutie and enjoy coming here as often as possible. Thank you to the moderators, designers, those uploading projects and visitors for making this an enjoyable site to visit.
15626Absolutely, right there with you, hope and help and love here. Wish everybody could read posts as if they were written with a smile, because mostly, they are. Thanks for taking the time to write this for all of us. Love, Marji
33451Thank you for this well written post. I am a moderator in another forum on a different site and you have put into words what many think. It is very easy sometimes for written words to be misunderstood as things like tone and facial expressions are difficult to convey on the web.
I am very new on this site and still learning so many things everday from the generosity of others here. I hope that in time I will have learnt enough to be able to share and inspire others like many have done here for me.
Thank you cuties and I look forward to getting to know you all better as time goes by.
xx
3 comments
by kezza2sew
09 Jan 2014
Sewmum1 Welcome and lovely to have you. Also all the other new cuties that are coming on board...you all will love this site.
13243Very well said.
Writing for myself only - I am truly thankful and appreciative for all the help and inspiration I have received here, and just wish for us all to get along. Why don't we all make a promise to ourselves to be kind and treat others how we want to be treated, and the world will be a nicer place.
Be happy!
1252I read all this post with many difficulties as always to read English.... I try with the help of the google translator unless the result is always fanny.
I do not post as many as I would like because It takes me a very long time to write.
For me this site is alway a place of share and a place to take inspiration with all the cuties's works. I so appreciate all the projets. It is for me as a very big book of images. I do not see many of the comments because I do not have a lot of time to spend here & there is so many thinks to read & discover: a lot of pleasure each days. I have learn a lot at Cute, beginning by the English language.
Merci to every one & thanks to all the moderators & Mr Veronica to offer that to us.
flowers xxxxx from Paris
4 comments
by rescuer
10 Jan 2014
S'il vous plaît visitez souvent. Je comprends votre anglais. Mon français est mauvais. Si vous écrivez en français, je vais le lire. Vous m'aider à pratiquer et apprendre à écrire du bon en français.
3363Add my thanks. I visit almost every day, just to see what members have been sewing all around the world. I love it, but tend to ignore the unhappy bits.
16529
20276A boquet of flowers to you. Have you ever seen the cute badge that some workers at charity events wear? "Don't yell at me, I'm just a volunteer." I smile everytime I see it because it is so true. All of you Moderators have a thanksless task but please know you are appreciated.
8230You are very helpful for this site and only try your best all the time
9459Thank you for all you do, moderators and other posters.
wishing you many blessings in the new year,
Adrienne
106Kind---I think that is one of your names. You are kind and encouraging and beneficial to us. Thank you, Joan
9536Many thanks for what you have said. I love this site for all the help each and every Cutie is given. Love to see the projects each one has done and to give flowers. I don't always have the time to make comments. I have very little contact with others who embroider and so consider this site as my friends and family. While it is nice to get the DBC there is far more than that to this site. Many thanks to the hard working Moderators and to the Site owner for all they do to keep it running smoothly. Shirley
52686Thank you so much for all you & the other moderators do& have done for all of us; Blessings to all.
79I totally agree I as many others love this site and it is usually the first thing I do of a morning is log on as I love to see the new postings and often get wonderful ideas from our generous cuties all around the world .... ....soozie
25169Hugs for the sweet words! I love what you do for this site and I think most of us are grateful for your help on the IT front.
145304Wonderful heartfelt message Rescuer. I have to say simply........... I love giving those flowers also. I love sharing ideas. I mean to give a loving comment and forgive me if I came across otherwise. So simply I have to say... I love you all... Cuties! Bless you Rescuer, Jrob, Martine, and marji for all you do. You lovely ladies have what it takes with your experiences an talents. I don't envy you by any means. I only hope I can learn from you as well as others on here. I live here a lot. Hubby says too much at times.Most graciously I thank you Ms. V for all your hours love and time poured into this wonderful site.
86901Thank you Rescuer for your heart-felt letter to the community, written with love and care. I do not know what I would do if I could not connect with all my sister-friends from around the world. Thanks to all of you for making this possible. Love and hugs.
11329This site makes me realize DAILY that there are not enough hours in the day to read all the posts, try all of the projects, download, stitch out, an do everything I want to do. I always get MORE ideas every day that I want to do, and there just is not enough time to do them all----AND I AM RETIRED!!!!!!!! Whether a Cutie has a $15,000 machine or a $200 machine or one they have inherited for $0, no one should ever feel that they are not a Cutie. I have found so many ideas and projects and designs (free and to purchase) and sites and HELP when my machine(s) have issues. I have asked for help and received it----figured out what to buy and not to buy based on the experience and helpfulness of other Cuties. There are no words to express the joy I get when giving someone an item I have stitched out----because a Cutie inspired me by words and/or example. God bless y'all!!!
4698This is my much overdue "Thank You" to all our Moderators and wonderful cuties: Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have found that if someone misconstrues or misinterprets a comment, there are many good cuties who rise to the occasion and try to correct that misinterpretation in a nice way. As you say, we never know why someone will send an offensive comment; I'm sure each of us has had a bad day and wish we could undo something we said or did -- or -- did not say or did not do. All we can do is to be kind in our response and say a quick prayer for them. This really is an extraordinary site.
1931Very well said rescuer. I love this site with all my heart and visit it every day. It's my family away from home! Love Chris
234500I for one can't imagine anybody turning your comments as criticism .I am very grateful to this site as I have made many friends and feel less lonely. I Thank Ms V, and everyone associated with this site when I get help.Even though members are located all over the world when here it seems they are close by. Please don't get discouraged by comments from a few just think of all the Cuties that come here for the camaraderie and love of embroidery.Great work!!
15982I do not get to read all the posts, however I have I have not seen anything I would object to, I also know with all my heart that all of our moderators would not intentionally do or say anything inappropriate. That ship has long sailed. We are united in our sincere desire to explore Embroidery and enjoy each others company. Keep doing what you doing, and know that I for one appreciate all your presence and your efforts.
173694Hugs to you and the other Moderators...and I don't know how anyone could have taken any of your comments as anything but helpful, caring and giving...
318483...and may I thank you as well for your thoughtfulness... One day I will post foto's but that will only be once I have 'guts' to do so. Do not like showing and telling publically, it feels as if I am boasting and that is not how I would like to appear (my feelings only) however, I love to see other cuties creations. It inspires me. Thank you once again for being the best site on the web!!! Thank you Ms V and all 4 moderators for all your hard work as well. Hugs S*
2 comments
by airyfairy
09 Jan 2014
It also took me ages to post photos. Please post Shirley - it is always great to see other Cuties creations. Hugs Sarah (Knysna)
by rescuer
10 Jan 2014
Please inspire me. I need all the help I can get to find "spare time" to stitch!
19823449as one of the "afraid" none native speaker I do bow in respect to this post and your love - One of my favorite things to do here is give flowers and I love it too - may it be a pink glass helpful lovely retreat for all of us
1 comment
20463We all know this is best site on the web. As long as i see malicious voting for the free fonts on this site and sister sites. i realize there are many sickos out there that have nothing better to do. I am not here as much as i used to be , mainly due to time, but I would like to be here more. Keep up the good work!! Kay
85867
119791Best site on the web! Sure, sometimes people misunderstand what someone will say, but I don't think anyone means to be mean. I always read my comments before posting...my crazy sense of humor may not come over with the written word...you can't see me grinning! But I know where to go when I have any sort of problem..machine, files & even computer! :-) Tks, moderators!
35675I second and third and fourth your comments, in a world where everyone wants something for nothing it is nice to come to cute where for the most part, each cuties wants to help another. There are times when time will not allow me to help as much as I would like but I do my best when possible. Please know that I appreciate all and everything about this site and I think it is one of the best. As for projects, well I think I give way more than my share LOL,
hugs to all
Michelle
644511250am new here, haven seen any nastiness but I do FOR SURE feel the love and kindness ♥
5104Thank you, well said. It's a great, well rounded site. Find it all!
66911Ditto, Ditto and Ditto, all over this post!!! This site has been nothing short of a "saving grace" for me when I have questions, or something on my mind or even sharing my fur family with you......This group of moderators have been miracle workers in their endeavors to keep this site safe and comfortable.......Thank you to Veronika and all who make this site a 2nd home for many of us and yes, being here has kept me motivated to share & care!! Hugs to all!!!! Vicki
261163Well said! Thank you for taking the time to explain your philosophy. It would be great if 9000 users were to read what you have written.
140717I must wear rose colored glasses, because I haven't seen any of the discourse....all I have ever seen is Cuties helping Cuties. I come here to look,,get some freebies, get my subscription designs, and see how everyone is doing. I too love to give flowers, and I don't worry about how many I have.
When DBC was up I tried to give back by uploading designs and requests.....that is how this site works for me.
1 comment
by gerryb
08 Jan 2014
Rose colored glasses are WONDERFUL! Just think of all the perceived hurt you have avoided! I'm a "glass half full" person too...as I bet you are! No "half empty" glasses for me!
40397Exactly. Hugs for the sweet words. I told my children to take the written word and spoken word and put it in the best possible light. If that was not how it was meant you will soon know, but never assume that it was meant in any way but kindly.
158717So well said!! Thank you so very much. I appreciate everything you, and others, do to help me understand this wonderful world of machine embroidery. Thank you to everyone for being here.
6963