hi all.. I had the red postbox to send a PM- now it is gone.. Any ideas of what I did wrong please? thanks

It is only red if you have unread messages. Just click on the word "inbox"

I am not sure...follow these syeps to access your PM box:
Find the Inbox tab at the top of the page. Click on it. To read a message -- just click on the text in the message. To create a message -- click on the blue Private Message button and then add the names (exactly as they appear here on Cute) to the username section. You can send to more than one user.
Then enter your text and when finished press Submit in the blue button.
I have added pictures to help. The last picture shows how to PM all the moderators. I hope this helps.