I have just found out that one of my dearest friends has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I know how to pray for her and that they will need meals, I'm starting on a lap quilt tomorrow morning so I know that , but I need you to help me know what will comfort her. She starts chemo April 9th, and I'd really appreciate any suggestions from any of you who have dealt with this kind of thing. I don't know if any foods will be better than others, or anything. I feel so helpless.
158717
An update from my precious friend. I wanted to share this with you as you have prayed for her and for me during this time.
I have finished all my treatments! I finished the last of my radiation therapy. Though I was very fatigued and ill as I finished up, I have regained much of my energy and strength this past week, for which I am very thankful. I appreciate my health more because I have struggled, and I honestly would not change a thing about the whole experience. Some days, in the middle of suffering, I could not have been so sure of that statement, but afterward, I know I have learned valuable lessons I would not have otherwise gained.
I must confess that several times I was anxious or fearful and then felt ashamed of my lack of faith. I confess because My heavenly Father wanted me to know that my faith was not what healed me. He showed me in Isaiah 53 just last week that His son, Jesus “was pierced for my transgressions and crushed for my sins. The punishment that brought me peace was upon him, and by his wounds, I was healed!” He wanted me to glory in my weakness so I could rise again in His strength.
In my first email, I admitted I didn’t know how to “do cancer.” Now that I’m done with the treatments, I can say that I “did cancer” one day at a time, living rather ordinary days, but with a supersensitive spirit to all around me. I saw clearly how much God loves me and how much you and other friends and family love me. I realized some things are more important than I had thought and others are much less important than I had believed. I have learned to be more loving in return, to be more vulnerable, and to experience God’s grace in a whole new way. I have also learned that I will never arrive at a state of perfection where my faith does not waver and I remember all the lessons I’ve learned. I will continue to need to hear the good news about Jesus and to rely on God’s power and goodness every single day.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for walking with me on this journey, for keeping me in your prayers, for your treasured words of encouragement, for food, gift cards, etc. I will always be grateful.
5 comments
by draco
24 Aug 2014
Same with me. I had a mastectomy. Doctors got it all and am clean for 20 years. There is life after cancer.
Praying for you a complete recovery. Hugs
by pennifold
25 Aug 2014
Praise be to God, and what a powerful message of hope. Love life and live it to its fullest. Love Chris
by lbrow
25 Aug 2014
Oh to my heart what joy this brings. The message of God's love never, never grows old. A wonderful blessing I have received from this testimony this morning and no we will never be perfect 'till he comes again. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
158717Oh,
There is life after cancer. I had a mastectomy in 2005 and am clean since 2007.
Praying for you both!
Anneliese
8037Hi,
I had breast cancer and chemo. The chemo is absolutely horrible and made me extremely ill the whole period. I found that eating small very cold pieces of fruit throughout the day helped me feel better. (grapes or cut fruit - I kept some permanently in the fridge.)
Please tell your friend to see the dentist before she starts chemo, chemo affects your teeth very badly. My dentist said most of his chemo patients lost teeth, even with good oral care. I lost two teeth, and we REALLY looked after my teeth.
Also, if you or someone else can accompany her when she goes for her treatments? I had to go on my own, and felt so sad when all the other patients had people coming with them to support them. I started to feel ill about 5 to 10 minutes after the treatment started, and my treatments were 2 to 4 hours each.
Best of luck to your both.
Anneliese
1 comment
by jrob
02 Apr 2014
first I want to say I am so happy that you are clear for 2 years now. Thank you for your wonderful suggestions I will be sure and pass them along to her. Hugs to you, Jerrilyn
8037Sorry to read about your dearest friend. The only suggestion I can give you is: be there for her and with her. be there if she wants to talk and be there if you just want to be silent with eachother. Your presence and close friendship will give her comfort and will help her . My prayers for the both of you.
1 comment
743310I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't offer much in the way of advice as I haven't been through this yet. We lost a dear brother-in-law to cancer and they didn't find it until it was too late for chemo. All they could do was keep him comfortable and let him go home.
Perhaps giving her a flowering plant she can put in a pot or garden would cheer her a little better than cut flowers. She'd have a constant reminder of your hope for her and maybe get some for herself. I was thinking that when she has to wear turbuns or scarves, maybe you could wear one too, specially if you are out and about together. Like everyone said, just being there for her will be the best gift you can give her even when you don't talk. She probably will not want a lot of sympathy but empathy and love. Please tell her she is not alone and that there are many people praying for her. Her attitude will make a difference in healing herself so try to just be yourself and treat her the same as you do now. I will keep both of you in my prayers. Together you can beat this thing!
Meri
1 comment
15572I'm going to give her a journal and write down that each of you have agreed to pray for her and give her your wonderful suggestions.
I am so touched by your willingness to share with me.
Love and hugs,
Jerrilyn
158717I am so sorry to hear about your friend: I just hate cancers.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
A real favorite verse for those who are fighting for their health is this one from Isaiah 40:31 This is from the New International Version (NIV) 31 It is very pretty with an Eagle soaring design..
But those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
I will pray for your friend, and also for you, that you will know what to say and do. Love and hugs, Jan
1 comment
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
That is lovely, Jan. Thank you for sharing with me. I will write these down in a journal for her.
Love and hugs, Jerrilyn
59631I don't have any suggestions, just prayers for your friend and you, just by reading this, I know you will bring her comfort. You will know, it will come to you. I do sympathize with the feeling of helplessness. It's a horrible feeling Have Faith and think Positive thoughts.. Jen
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6069Hi, I have just finished Chemo. I really don't have any horror stories about it. By my choice I stayed at home away from people to avoid germs. I had a wig which I have worn 1 time. I mostly wore ski type hats which I made mostly from cotton knit - 4 pie shaped pieces and a 7"wide band by 22" sewn on the bottom. My head stayed cold. I sleep in one.While I was waiting to start Chemo I ate tons of chocolate. Then
I lost the taste for it especially dark chocolate. After the first infusion I also lost my appetite. All food had a metal taste. I would drink at least 1 Ensure a day and Gatorade also. I am now in radiation 37 treatments. I have 5 next week and then I will be finished. It is a long drawn out process. I went for a Mamogram 1st week in July 2014. My best advice is to have a good attitude. Get up, get dressed put on a little makeup and keep yourself busy. I haven't done a lot of embroiding, but I have done a lot of looking for designs. I have to thank all cuties for sharing their projects, it lifted my spirits. I am a private sort of person so I keep a lot to myslef. olds/Maureen/Mobile Al-PS I have a royal blue hat to wear the last day that is covered with Glitz.
1 comment
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
Maureen, I'm so sorry that I didn't know what you were dealing with. I could have been praying for you. Being a private person, I especially appreciate you having shared here. Thank you for your suggestions of ensure and gatorade. I'm so happy that this is almost over for you and I do hope you will post your royal blue glitz covered hat here and let us cheer with you. I'd love for you to be able to close your eyes that last treatment and imagine feeling our hands on your shoulders.
Hugs and Love,
Jerrilyn
3294Thank you all so much for taking the time and giving such wonderful caring answers. I am not the type to back down from difficulty, so I will be with her as much as my obligations will allow me to. I'm making lists from your suggestions, but covet your prayers most. Her name is Vicki. We have known each other since high school and raised our small children together. God bless you for taking your time to give me some answers and let me use your experiences to stand by her.
158717It is so sad that I agree with so many that have had to go through this or had someone they love go through this, but the cold is awful. Your offer to make a lap quilt will be of tremendous warmth to her. Maybe a flannel backing too. It will provide a warm hug to her on the days when she is on her own. I pray a cure is found for this cancer very soon. ~Hugs~
3 comments
by pldc
29 Mar 2014
The taste buds aren't the same for my circle. Some come back but others don't. ei coffee all the time then this & NO COFFEE at all?
299559I had breast cancer and had a mastectomy last year....... All I can say is while i was having chemo I felt the cold a lot more and sometimes it was hard to get warm. I loved having a really warm bath with bath oils rather than bubble bath. Also in my case the only thing that tasted as it should was milk and chocolate.
2 comments
5402I have not gone through this myself but drove cancer patients for a long time in the past.
Just be around her and you will know her needs. Being with her is the greatest gift you can give, because too many friends and relatives will stay away. Not because they don't care but they don't know what to say or how to deal with it. Communicate ALL. Anger, laughter, tears and hope. May God be with you on that journey. My prayers will accompany you.
1 comment
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
Thank you for your advice. I'm a very good listener. I'm holding onto the shirt tail of your prayers.
109774Each person is different. A friend of mine enjoyed laughter during her treatments. She did all kinds of things to make the nurses and other patients laugh. She wore hats with hair, she did not believe in wearing a wig. When she started chemo, she put glow in the dark stuff on her head and body.
1 comment
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
Sounds like my kind of gal! I'll follow Vicki's lead on that one. Thanks for the smile.
7103Jerrilyn, just be her friend! Be ABLE to listen to her if she wants to talk or just BE if she doesn't.
You can tell her how much you care and you will not run away if she wants to talk. If you visit take her a little posy of flowers you have picked or take her out for a coffee and a girly day. Ask her if she wants you to go to chemo with her as sometimes we women prefer to have a close girlfriend with us rather than our husbands.
Just please don't abandon her because you don't know how to handle the situation.
She is probably worried, scared, upset. She may not WANT to know anything, or maybe she won't be able to get enough information about breast cancer. You could check out your local bc support groups (in advance) so you will have some info, even brochures, to share with her.
When she loses her hair, be there for her. If you can check out your local cancer clinic and see if they hire wigs and have any information available for her when the time comes so you can help her feel less like a victim. I had to wear knitted caps to bed as my head was so cold and it was during our hottest summer months too.
She is still the same person you have always known but there may be times when she will slump into depression, (you will know) that is when she will need you the most, drop by for a surprise visit with a muggacino or her favourite sweet slice or just that posy of flowers.
The most important thing is to help her to stay positive, especially at the low points. There are many bc survivors here at Cute and we all coped in different ways, hearing about some of our positive outcomes could really help too.
I will tell you that my very dear friend Pauline (Nonna57) helped get me through it by doing all of the above, I don't think she even knows just how much she helped me get through it, along with all the prayers and wishes of our wonderful Cute Family and receiving the beautiful FSL Angels was so special.
And of course we all will pray for her and if you let us know her name it will make it more personal to say prayers for her recovery and I would like to send her a FSL Angel if you can PM me an address where I can send it.
My heart and my prayers are with you, Meg
1 comment
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
Thank you so much for your comments. I know how you cherished your friends during your time on this roller coaster. I will follow your good advice and depend on prayers that will surely carry her through.
122864My friend lost her hair as her chemo was in the summer, she wore pretty scarves wrapped round her head, with a sunhat on top, and she looked really good. The physio at the hospital showed me how to help her stretch her lymph glands which I did daily. Just be there for her, help where you can and stay positive, breast cancer is curable. Good luck.
1 comment
2958Be there, be honest and listen. Make the most of the lighter moments and don't feel bad about having a laugh.
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140717I am so very sorry to hear this Jerrilyn. When my friend was having chemo also for breast cancer I know that her appetite was very poor. Just be there for her. I think one of the hardest things was that we could not hug her for risk of infection. Today she is one breast short but on top of the world again. Hugs Sarah.
1 comment
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
Thank you Sarah, I hadn't even thought of that. Maybe I'll go to the druggist and get some masks and hand sanitizer for her goody bag.
255054The best news is that breast cancer has a high cure rate and for many the treatment is doable while continuing a somewhat normal life! And the other good news is she has you and I'm sure other wonderful friends to help her walk through this..
Just a thought - if she has to travel far for treatment, maybe you'd like to organize her with a pretty tote bag. I took one of the Cute site's golden angels and wrote text around her that said "angels watching over me." Just a little reminder when you can't be there in person.
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66911I empathize with you. I am sure all your efforts will bless her.
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173694Ms Jerrilyn, anything you do will be fine. Grief, mourning, tears, anger all are part and parcel of this nasty disease. YOU can help her a lot by finding your own inner peace, strength and foundations. You may need to become her physical manifestation of rock, an anchor. Everything you do will be done with love, every stitch you take will become a prayer. Find the positives and give her lots of laughter even where it's followed by rain. If she looses her hair you can knit or crochet you both some. Make some FSL hair for both of you. Keeping her sense of humor alive is as helpful as prayers...it's hope to see past the bad parts. ASAP ( Always Saying A Prayer).
God be and go with you both on this His new journey.
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35301Sorry to hear about this; both you and your friend are in my prayers. As other cuties have said, just being there for her on the bad days as well as the good ones will help a lot, even if it is just on the telephone. Another idea might be to contact your local breasr cancer support group and go along to a couple of their meetings - If you live in the same area invite your friend so she has you with her for a little moral support; usually the members of these groups who sometimes get in guest speakers to their meetings etc. can be very informative and helpful with pointing you both in the right direction for various additional forms of assistance and education. Remember that God sends us "angels" in many forms just when we need them the most.
Also, remember to take good care of yourself, and try to stay positive and cheerful - although your friend will appreciate some sympathy and empathy, your friend will also be upset if she sees that worrying about her is wearing you out.
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3568My husband has stage IV lung cancer in both lungs and is going through chemo every 3 weeks for the rest of his life. Food tastes like metal but using plastic utensils helps do away with some of the metal taste. Sweets are what tastes the best to him so I have been making a lot of oatmeal cookies made with coconut oil and mixing fiber cereal into cupcakes and muffins. This helps to satisfy his sweet tooth but also gives him the fiber as he is constipated a lot. Gatorade also is good to drink as it has some electrolytes to help the body. Ground meats have been the best as it makes him tired just to chew. The instant breakfast that mix with milk are also a good power booster since they are packed with vitamins and minerals. He will also eat the strawberry breakfast bars but the granola bars are too hard and make his mouth sore. Soups are also good. He needed a cap when he lost all his hair because his head was cold which made his whole body cold. He is in the hospital now with pneumonia in both lungs for the 4th time. I hope some of this info helps. It is a hard road with so many potholes. Prayers with hugs for all, Barba
2 comments
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
I'm so sorry to hear this, Barba. What an angel you are to to think of all the things that he can eat and drink to help him. I went through this with my mother many years ago and I know how tired you can become. I hope you have some help with taking care of him. Thank you for your suggestions and you have my prayers, too. Blessings to you dear.
6279This is such a good question, Jerrilyn - I would think it depends on your friend. If you live close by - offer to go to her chemo treatment with her and simply be willing to listen to all that she wants to talk about. You are such a sympathetic person - you will be a wonderful help to her. A good fiend of mine successfully beat breast cancer - but, I lived so far away - I simply couldn't be with her like I would have liked to.. I will have you and your friend in my prayers - keep us updated!! Hugs to both of you, Laura*
1 comment
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
Thank you Laura. Fortunately she only lives about 5 miles from me, so I will be able to see her often. I'm afraid they won't let me bring my 3 grandbabies to chemo, so I can't help her with that, but I'm making her a goody bag which I will add to as each appointment comes up. Thank you for your hugs and your prayers.
96279Just being there for her, but I'm sure she knows that. Make her laugh by some of the crappy things you both have done. And you are not helpless being a friend is important.
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6833I think mostly just make yourself available, whether to be a shoulder to cry on , or ears to listen or just knowing you are there. Hugs and Prayers
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by jrob
30 Mar 2014
Thank you, I covet your hugs and prayers. I think you are absolutely right about just being there.
1385Sooo sorry, so very sorry to hear this...I agree with Rescuer...getting a metal taste is quite common..some have different reactions to different foods...it is hard to say what will be palatable...it may take her a bit to determine what tastes good and what settles well...My prayers are with you both...I know she will gain strength and hope having you there for her...Hugs and smiles to you both...
1 comment
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
Thank you so much, Kim. I'll follow her lead on the foodstuffs. Thank you for your prayers, hugs and smiles. I feel them.
318483I know the feeling of helplessness... I think everyone has a bit different reaction but most foods taste like metal. :(
www.emblibrary.com
2 comments
by jrob
30 Mar 2014
I know you will be praying sweet friend. Thanks for the link. She is having a lumpectomy. If she doesn't need the pillow, she can gift it to someone she meets at her chemo session. I have no idea how this works, and I'm not really looking forward to this education, but I'm sticking with my buddy.
57675