Today 1 year ago my precious daughter passed away. I don't cry as much as I did when It happened but my life won't be the same ever without her. We weren't real close since she grew up and moved away. she had a really good important job with the military. She was an IG inspector her life was just getting started when the cancer took her away. She was happily married and had 1 daughter. Her daughter was a teenager and had started giving her teenage troubles but other than that her life seemed to be perfect. I don't know why god chose to take her at 46 years of age but he did. I couldn't celebrate her life like she wanted everyone to because I was in mourning. I don't know how other people feel about this celebrating someone life but to me it feels like every one is happy the person is gone. I want her still here with me telling me what to do and fussing at me. I loved her soo much. sorry I am crying now and have to go. Thanks for listening to me. Hugs mumzyfarm I am loading a memorial her husband had made.

So sorry for your loss. It is especially hard when it is one of our children. I often wonder how our family life would have been if I hadn't lost my second son so many years ago. Both my (living) children never knew there brother and always wish they could have included him in everything we do.

There are no words to comfort a grieving parent over the loss of a child.
May you be blessed with the peace you need.
Hugs

So very sorry for your loss..I feel your pain. I lost my youngest daughter 2 weeks after her 18th birthday. She was killed in a car accident 3 days before Xmas in 1997. You are so right when you say life will never be the same.Life goes on , the pain eases up, but it never goes away, and the majority of people around you don't begin to understand this.Just remember that she would not want you to spend the rest of your life being sad and mourning for her. God Bless you

1 comment

by mumzyfarm 14 Jul 2014

Thank you so much for your kind words. I pray to god every day that she is happy and doing what she loved most, playing on the beach. Every time I see a pelican she is on my mind she loved pelicans and loved to feed them. May you be blessed always.

Celebrating a person's life to me means celebrating the fact that they were in your life and you are sad to lose them.
I am sorry that no one told you that at the time. Funerals are hard. Your beloved daughter will always be with you in your memories.
A Life Celebration is a time to remember and show love for that person. I have been to many life celebrations and they were all great while some funerals that I have been to were all about the persons there being morbid and not about the person who died. It all depends on the person organising the funeral and the mourners, I guess.
She was your daughter, so please don't be sad that her family wanted to celebrate her life.

1 comment

by mumzyfarm 14 Jul 2014

I understood the meaning of celebrating ones life, it is just that I was in mourning and celebration wasn't something I could deal with. I know what she did in her life and how wonderful she was all I could think of was the fact she wasn't going to be able to complete her life and do more of what she had been doing and I would never know the extent of he achievements. Thank you for your kind words and may god bless you always.

so sorry for your loss. And like the memorial shows: she will always live in your heart. A very big hug for you, special on this memorial day for you and family )))

Don't you wish there was some sort of expiration date on the grief and agony that you feel? And after that, it doesn't hurt anymore? 1 year isn't very long. We all heal at a different pace. I lost my dad in 2005. Since then, almost all of my family (I stopped counting at 28). It does get better. A little at a time, when you are not paying attention. Something will remind you of her, and instead of bringing tears, it will bring a smile or a warm feeling inside. Don't hold the hurt inside; share it with others as you have done here. It WILL help the healing process. The most difficult phase of grief for me has been the final one, absence. I wish you and your family the very best, for both now, and as you heal.

1 comment

by justonlyme 09 Jul 2014

I've been thinking about what I said, and want you to know that, by no means was I trying to "one-up" you with my message. I was trying to let you know that things will indeed get better. Eventually. I also had to cry a little on your behalf, as your story hit home in a big way, and I feel sad for your loss.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can't imagine the kind of pain and suffering your going through. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

To me Celebration of Life might be too hard a term. How about a Day of Memories? This is a hard time for you and tears do heal, so cry all you need to! It is a time for reflecting and building the life you will have without her. It's so hard. I've lost a husband, but even that is different! Remember her in the way you want to and she will understand. She's a part of your past and a part of your future, you're just missing her right now in the present.

My heart aches for you as I know the pain you are experiencing. I pray you find comfort in knowing God has your precious daughter in heaven and you will be reunited with her again. Let the healing tears flow, it will help relieve the pain. Many hugs and blessings, Barba

We have a saying that a parent should not have to look into the grave of your child. It is the hardest fate I can imagine. A mother would like to take over all burden, all sickness of her child(ren) - but she is still alive in all your memory and don't stop talking about and remembering her with all that have known her. Love and Hugs and give love and hugs to your grand-daughter and your son in law too - Maria

So sad for your loss...I can't even imagine the pain of losing a child...Peace and prayers be with you...

I know exactly how you feel I too lost a daughter my daughter was 37 years when she left us and I know how you feel how much you want to rant at the awful awful feeling of missing and loving her. It's been three years and there is never a day goes by when I don't think of her, when something stops me in my tracks and she is in my head. My only blessing is she left me a wonderful grandson who is now 17 and the light of my life, we talk about his mum a lot and she will be soooo proud of him as she looks done on him from heaven. So all I can say to you is cry as much as you need to, when you need to and always remember how much she loved you too. Blessing to all of you xxx

We all grieve in a different way. I am so terribly sorry that you lost your daughter. Nobody should have to loose a child. My thoughts go out to you and your family. Hugs Sarah

Mumzyfarm,
I lost my dear sister to cancer when she was 33 years old, and it has been seven weeks now since our dear son, Ben, passed away. My heart grieves with you and I can feel your raw pain in every word you wrote. It has been 28 years since we lost my sister and it is still painful, and the pain from Ben is still unbearable. I don't think the pain will ever go away because we loved them so much. That love will never die. Love simply never dies. I am feeling like a huge part of me has been ripped away and I'm empty inside. Yet, there is this part of me that survives and somehow wants to live on. It's not a very strong part of me, but it's there. I want to remember Ben, to keep his memory still strong, to share with others who knew him, and even those who didn't about the joy he had for living. My faith is strong. But my mind is weak and I just wish I could hold him again and do the things I didn't do. I wish the events of his death could fade and disappear completely from my mind - a mother shouldn't have to have those memories to interfere with the good ones. One year isn't much time at all for you, not much longer than my seven weeks. Have you found ways to comfort yourself? Do you have something of hers that brings you closer to her - that helps you feel better? Do you have faith you will see her again? Does being around her daughter or husband help? My mother keeps telling me there is nothing so hard as losing your child. Hugs and love from another grieving mom to you, Jan

1 comment

by mumzyfarm 08 Jul 2014

Ben was so precious to you and I know he is with you in your heart every day bless you Hugs Virdean

Thank everyone for your kind words I don't know why Satan chose to do this to my dear daughter but I know she is in heaven and will be with god forever I will try to only think of the good times it is just at certain times all the memories come gushing back and I am heart broken again. Hugs Virdean.

Your words make me suffer. I am close to your mother's heart. I hope that God gives you comfort. Giovanna

Virdean, I do not know how any mother buries her child, regardless of their age. I do however know that your daughter was well loved and is well remembered. I'm so sorry that your heart is breaking and I pray for comfort for you and memories that allow you to smile while thinking of her.
Hugs.
Jerrilyn

I am so sorry to read this...keep strong and always keep her in your heart....big hugs...from Denise xxx

I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a child, no matter if the child you lose is an adult, it so gut wrenching and life changing. No matter what that hole will never be filled. Satan is a horrible creature who is responsible for death and destruction. That is why I despise satan so much. Please take comfort in knowing that your daughter has made a huge difference in the lives of all she touched. She obviously made many lives better through her love. Her memorial speaks volumes to me and she does live on in so many hearts, including yours.

Dear Virdean,

I'm so sorry that you are grieving, it's a normal reaction and especially when an anniversary or something triggers your memory and emotions - it's only natural.

What a beautiful tribute your son in law has made for your daughter with this memorial plaque.

We have Pelicans not far from from where we live in Lake Macquarie so I'll think of this when I see one. Love Chris

My heart aches for you for your pain, loss and grief. Death leaves a hole in your heart , Remember the good times and she lives in your heart. Her daughter must surely need you since she has lost a mother.. If you can try to get close to her because your daughter lives within her. I have found God has a reason for everything, we don't always understand but I do know He will give you comfort if you will let Him because He loves you. I can say all this because I have lost a husband and both Mother & Father and understand what it is to lose a loved one. Many, many hugs go out to you/Lillian

Loosing a loved one is never easy. My mother died in the late 70s and I still miss her. I can't forget her, never will. But it is easier to remember her and the good times. Time helps. And I don't believe in the celebration of life either. Nor funerals. When I go, just plant me and say a short prayer for my soul. Then move on.

May God give you the comfort today that your Mother-heart is yearning for. That is my sincere prayer for you. Be blessed. Patricia