I wrote my CHRISTmas note yesterday about non-responsiveness of grands and parents about gifts sent in the mail. I still have a pile of stuff I was going to send but did not get sent due to lack of time, organization, and funds to mail---they are 500 miles away. It runs in to a lot of money to mail a lot of stuff---I have sent to FB messages, 2 text messages, and 2 emails---I don't call because there is never an answer or response. So I have decided to await a reponse until Saturday evening--it is now Friday---if I get no response then I will take goodies that are perishable that were baked by a friend to church to give to kids there--if I have heard nothing by Sunday evening I will search for receipts and take part back to stores and give other stuff to kids at church. They got a pile of stuff for CHRISTmas anyway I am sure. It hurts to do it, but I see no other option. My CUTIES Family has been sew helpful in helping get through this MOST TRYING CHRISTmas season ever. God bless Y'all and Merry After CHRISTmas.

I FINALLY got a text from son. Packages arrived today. So that was good. Made me feel SO MUCH better. Still am following many suggestions made here. Will make comments and thankSES after a busy day tomorrow at 2 church services, Sunday School, killing time knitting, hand sewing, pinning, etc. while Hubby does church work, and then going to a friend's home about an hour away for a NewYear's celebration---have not seen them in several years----Embroidered a wine bottle apron---will post a picture soon--from !!!God bless Y'all and good night.

1 comment

by marianb 28 Dec 2014

So glad your son replied to you, but a call would be better than a text and I know a text is better than nothing, chin up and enjoy yourself at your friends house.. Marian

I've been reading your hurt for days now and I have a few comments. First, is it possible you are putting too much hope into your gifts - that the kids will be wowed and overwhelmed and love crafts as you do? Second, find a child the age of your grandkids in your church and find out from them or their parents what a child that age really likes. so you are giving something age-appropriate. If you want to do books, find a great children's librarian to tell you a great book for that age child. And third, I think you want more of contact, recognition, and relationship from them and less of planning, shipping and gifts, So, maybe spend your money on frequent phone calls through the year or an in-person visit if that is possible. Find nice ways to intrude into their lives without making a martyr of yourself. I hope you will have a more lovely experience of Christmas next year!

Many, many years ago when I was still a child, my dad asked my sister and myself what we would like for Christmas. We ummmmed and ahhhhhed and could not make a decision. He then realised that our hesitation in making a decision meant that we had everything we needed. The solution? ..... he used the money that he would have spent on us and bought presents in the form of outdoor play equipment for the orphanage. We were taken with him when he delivered the gifts and nearly 50 years later, I still remember that giving something to someone who really appreciates is actually a gift to oneself. Giving is truly sometimes more fulfilling than receiving when the recipients are so happy and receive the gifts with such appreciation.

I also heard of a chap who just this Christmas showed the true spirit of Christmas and he has left a deep impression on my soul. This chap is homeless and a Good Samaritan gave him some money ( not just loose change - but a decent amount of cash ). What did the homeless man do - he went and bought food for those who are less fortunate than himself.

I notice that you have capitalised the word CHRIST in CHRISTmas. THANK YOU!! I think that the true meaning of Christmas as been forgotten and CHRIST has been replaced by an "X" in Xmas. Maybe ask yourself what Jesus would do in a situation like this. After all, it is His birthday being celebrated and I am sure that he would want a say in what happens to His presents. May God Bless you. Coral

2 comments

by lbrow 26 Dec 2014

You are right and you will never see me put an X for Christ in christmlas. As our Noah/Carolyn often says,"It's more blessed to give than to receive"/Lillian

by olly 26 Dec 2014

Each of us will be judged individually for our actions. The giver and the receiver.

Bless your heart, know that you are not alone in this sticky wicket situation.

1 comment

by osueo 26 Dec 2014

Thank you---I will make replies to others in a while----my husband asks why I even bother to make stuff for them and send stuff up---I love to embroider stuff for them and send it to them----someone somewhere said I need to keep doing it because it is NOT their fault that the thank yous aren't made----so as I had a REALLY LOW DAY the day after CHRISTmas, the SON is starting to help me to listen, I plan to send most of the stuff I have gathered and send it--I will try to learn that I will NOT expect thank yous or even acknowledgement of their even getting the stuff---someday I know they will remember that Gma and Papa DID send actual stuff to them---at least for now---as they age, I think cash or a check to the parents (someone else suggested that idea--I will reply to them in a bit)--that way I will KNOW they actually got the card or letter and check when they physically cash it. Some of the thngs I will give to some of my SPECIALS whom I teach music to once a week (voluntarily)--I know they will love it as I love to sing with them, Thank you so much for your thoughts, Merry CHRISTmas and God bless you.

Good for you, your plan sounds totally reasonable. I hope they make contact with you and your relationship grows, I wish I had a grandma!

You could perhaps in the future do something like this - We live in Australia and the kids are in America, postage got so out of hand $140 dollars to post their gifts so what we do now is their Mother buys and wraps their gifts or gives them money in a card for the older ones and then I pay her. She is sensible about it and it and it works out considerably cheaper for us as she knows what they want and prices are a lot cheaper in the states.

Thinking about you with this difficult situation and your decision will be right for you

Good for you! It isn't difficult or costly to reply to any of those methods, and there isn't any excuse for not responding. You don't have to be a doormat! You are worthy of their love and respect.

I hope you do get a response, but if you don't, I think you are doing the right thing. You will bring smiles to many faces with all of your goodies. And if any do call to ask, tell them the truth. You do not get an acknowledgement so you gave the items to needy children. It will make them realize you have feelings too.

Amen!