Dear Cuties
My prayers are with all of you who need it.
Please pray for me, I suffer from suicidal depression which is normally controlled OK with medication.
At the moment it is spinning downwards out of control...
I feel so silly to ask for your prayers when so many people need prayers, but please pray for me.
The following situation is also worsening it:
My mother had severe strokes and were in and out of hospital this last few months. She was back in hospital since before Christmas, and deteriorated so much that the only things she can do for herself, is eat and drink.
She is due to be released on the 31st of December, but I do not know how we are going to look after her when she gets home. Please pray for her!
She stays with my brother, and not one of us have sufficient funds to employ someone to look after her 24 hours a day, and I can not see how my brother can cope helping her as needed.
And my son wants me to get rid of all my stash needed to create things sewing or embroidering. It seems so far I can keep my embroidering machine... I am so tired of life...
Hugs
Anneliese
I work in nursing home, and look after people like your mother. Is it difficult to get a nursing home for her where you live?
And why your son wants you to get rid of your stash? Please don't give up making things that make you happy. Love, Yoriko
I will also be sending you a longer PM. (((Hugs))) Pam
God can help you in such a desperate time of need. Lean on Him, talk to your friends, go back to your doctor, and pray, pray, pray. Know that others are lifting you up, as well. As an only child and a caretaker of parents, I know how stressful that can be.
Prayerfully,
Liz
You are focusing on your mother and your brother and that is a help with depression as you can take the spotlight off you and your hurts spiraling further downward. You may not be able to help your brother by physically being there, but you could call him and say, "thank you " for taking care of mom and I love you for it. That would lighten his burden considerably to have gratefulness presented to him.
Ignore your son. He sounds like a selfish brat.
We won't abandon you.
Prayers
Aleene
Continuous stress and worrying works havoc on our brain chemistry, throwing it out of whack. Staying overwhelmed with life's consuming challenges renders us to feeling helpless, hopeless, and like we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders all alone. To get that brain chemistry back in balance, takes not only medication, but constantly altering the thought process to good, rather than bad thoughts, reminding our self, repeatedly, how truly blessed we are, mentally listing the reasons to retrain our thinking. Avoid dark rooms or dimly lit areas during the daytime. Bright lights help lift the clouds of depression. I learned this by accident more than thirty years ago, before it was clinically discovered. I discovered that while standing under a bright fluorescent light in my kitchen, my deeply depressed mood was lifted. From then on, I searched diligently for sunshine and bright lights, until my depression subsided. It took this, and a lot of repeating to myself, "Nothing is coming my way today, Lord, that YOU and I can't handle!", or "This TOO shall pass!"
We are only one person. We can only give so much, before it destroys our own health, trying to be a caregiver. Your mother would not want that for you! It is time she has nursing home care. Sure, it will use any assets, she may have. If she doesn't have any, state nursing care is still available. Make the best decisions for ALL involved, and restore your mental health. LIFE is good, in spite of the many challenges presented! You deserve happiness, and that is gained from tiny steps one day at a time, that will lift the mental clouds, and help you regain your stamina!
When severely depressed, one stays tired and feels so out of control of the least aspect of her life. Somehow, muster the strength to tell your son to "buzz off"! Right now, your "stash" is better than any medicine to help you stay focused! He truly doesn't have a CLUE, as to all you are going through!!
Keeping you in my prayers for life to get much better for you, and a return to good mental health along with it!!
Hugs, Angel
please do not give up and let you rest from your depression.
I can well understand you - my mother had a stroke and from one day to the next changed our whole life. She sat in a wheelchair from then on and was able to eat only with a lot of effort itself and drink.
It was also for me to see a great burden, how helpless she become.
But we have come into the world helpless and need the help of our parents. Sometimes in life, the situation changes.
I wish you and your family a lot of strength for the future. I know from personal experience that one can achieve more than you think. And do not be afraid to ask for help somewhere.
Best wishes and I will pray for you and your family
There is a lot of good advice below, I hope some of it will resonate with you and help you to make good choices from bad options.. No matter how bad things get, ending you life will only cause more grief for those you leave behind and kind of insures that your life won't get any better.
I hope it helps to know that there are many folks that care, even if we don't know you, or you us. We pray that your burdens will be lightened.
Bless you.
First and foremost is YOU. Thank you for asking for prayer. It tells us you believe in God. You must know how much He loves you, He gave His son for our sins so don't dishonor Him by wasting your life. Talk to your doctor, mental health professional and your pastor.
Secondly, I had to place a sister in a nursing home. I had no idea how to go about this. The social worker at the hospital she was in helped/ advised me tremendously. The nursing facility will help you with all the formality. It took me about 3 weeks to get her placed and even though I cried to put her there, she loved it! She had been living alone and she's not anymore. Hang in there. This time will pass.
Thirdly, do you live with your son? If you do, no reason you are depressed! I would be too. I don't want to hurt your feelings about your son, but you need to face it. He's the one with a problem. It sounds like he wants to control you, make you miserable ! Don't let him succeed, you are worth so much more, than he wants you to feel you are!
If you DO live with him, keep everything in your own room so he doesn't have to go in and see.
If you don't live with him, so much better. Tell him to mind his own business, you have a plate full right now & a belly full of him!
If you are in the USA and you are having to live with him because of financial reasons, there is housing for the elderly that you can move in. I'm not sure exactly how it works but I think the government pays for part and you pay according to your income/finances.
Please don't feel all is hopeless. I know you don't have the energy to feel strong enough,but with all our prayers we will lift you up and you will be stronger than you think.
Take one hour/ day at a time. When you are at your lowest turn to God. Ask for His help. He will open doors you don't even know exiest. Give everyday and everything to Him, but also help yourself. Get out of that house and go for a walk in the sun, when weather permits. If you have to stay in your room, make your room bright and cheery. Try to keep it organized so you won't feel closed in.
I don't know if I have said anything that will help you. If not, i do hope someone has.
Remember this. You are important. You are loved! Your life is worth living! This time WILL pass. We care and love you like Christ means for us to.
In hope and Christian Love-Toogie
I do live with my son and can currently not afford a place of my own. My income is very small and most of it goes to medical costs.
My son hates my embroidery and sewing, and wants me to get rid of all my machines and accessories. He realized I will not get rid of my embroidery machine, but told me (and meant it) that so long as I stay with him, I will not be allowed to embroider, sew or paint.
Although I have my own room, he wants me to put everything in the built-in cubboards, and keep nothing else but my bed and my PC in the room. Currently I put all my fabrics, ribbons, thread, drawing pencils, paint etc in 9 big containers. They are stacked and I use them as tables. He wants to get rid of the containers.
Currently I work, wait 3 hours at a security gate with a guard for my son to pick me up to go home (he works late), get home, eat, sleep 5 hours, get up to go to work, etc.
And when my son talks to me, he tells me what a problem I am to him.
I do not want to be a problem to any one... And I do not want to lose my stuff in my containers...
Thank you for your prayers.
I am praying for all of you who needs God help with personal pain, bereavement, or anything else.
My CV was given to a very senior person, but he is currently on leave. Apparently he liked my CV, and I am sure if I get a job with his company, most of my problems will be solved. If I get my own place to stay I can keep my stash and start painting and embroidering and digitizing again. That will lift my spirits tremendously...
My mother is 85 years old, and very frail. If need be, she has a house that can be sold to pay for care for her. The only problem is that my brother is staying with her in the house, and he does not have a job. Where will he stay if the house is sold? He is extremely aggressive and violent, and no family member will allow him to stay with them.
Government Institutions in South Africa is not an option, their service is extremely poor.
Please keep on praying for my mother, and my brother as well. I am very worried about him.
Best Regards and LOTS of hugs.
Flowers to you all.
Anneliese
How are you doing today? I hope you feel the outpouring of love and concern for you & your Mom. God is on His throne & he loves you! He hears the prayers of us Cuties for you.
Cindy