An embroidered hankie would be a nice token gift. Perhaps, you
could embroider "Happy 90th Birthday" along with the date. I love to embroider greeting cards, so I would also embroider a birthday card with a
meaningful note and include the hankie in the envelope. A small
gift would not seriously violate the "no gifts" policy, and yet show your
love.

I don't know how big of a project you want to do and it is next week, so this may not be something you want to consider...Being in this chair, at home I stay in my gown. (It just makes it easier for me, than pants, to go to the restroom) Anyway, I wish I had a pretty bed jacket, with embroidery. (Ever heard of one?-lol) Since I keep a lap quilt across me, usually waist up, it's harder to roll and get a housecoat when someone pops in, and more comfortable while sitting, without the slimness of the robe..... I don't know if your friend is mobile or not. Just something I'd like, so that's why I suggested this and I know how well you can sew, too.

Perhaps a small ornament to hang in her window...something that she especially likes...a teddy bear...a sea shell....a heart or cross....and with her initials...and the year maybe. Give it with a suction cup so she could hang it easily....and then when the sun shines on it....it would make her think of you too. I would also glue on some crystals...but then I like sparkly things.

I made my aunt on her 90th birthday a warm scarf with an embroidery of a bouquet of flowers. The design of the bouquet had an embroidered kind of tag ( giftcard) hanging on it, and in this tag I embroidered the number 90. Perhaps an idea? You can also use this lovely Cute design see picture and link and embroider 90 in the middle of the design

As Toogie suggested below a bed jacket if you have the time sounds perfect to me.

A FSL guardian angel in her card to watch over her for you.

SQ

What about some reusable hand-warmers or something like that to keep her warm? Maybe she doesn't get cold easy so that would not work...but it would be a "useful" thing instead of a "gift"
The best thing would be something that reminds you of her -- since that might be a mutual memory.

I like rescuers suggestion of a mutual memory. How about a stitched picture of her when she was young - or one with you even!

If you like the bed jacket idea you but don't have time you could make a cape from a half circle and cut a smalle half circle for the neck. If you see two right sides together leaving an opening, turn out and add a closure of ribbon or a button loop depending on how she can use her hands. You could embroider before you see them together or even make it reversible. Is that a clear explanation?
Come to think of it I think my elderly mother in law would like something like that!
I don't think I could completely go the no gift rule as a token is always a lovely gesture.
She might even appreciate some homecooked frozen dinners Or baked goodies.
I am sure she will love whatever you surprise her with

No time to make a bed jacket, use a sweatshirt. Cut it down the center front to make a jacket add binding to cut edges to seal them. Add embroidery, if desired. Add some pretty closures for the front. I like ribbon with Velcro. Not expensive, but shows you thought of her.

So thank you for all your suggestions...but, I think I may go with a very soft, plushy throw with an embroidered crest to commemorate her ninetieth...something she can use both in her bedroom and family room or even throw it in the car...something to cuddle up in and feel my love around her when she uses it...what do you all think?

An old fashioned hankie :):)hugs

Anyone remember muffs? You might see them in a design of a girl skating. Years ago I made one for my Mom to put her hands into when she sat watching tv. She had RA, too, and they would get chilly from not using them a lot. I made 2 flat pillows, maybe about 14x8" with a design on the top one, and sewed them together on the long ends. It was before I discovered minkie, which would have been nice, but I did use flannel
When she wasn't using it, it just looked like a regular pillow.
Jo

There are some fabulous suggestions here Kim. My mother in law turns 90 on the 2nd October and the family are going down to see her. She is now in assisted living in the suburb of Kippax, Canberra. It's called the Frank Whiddon Memorial Masonic village where aged care people live. She has been there for 20 years and just went into the assisted care side of the village in early November. She is still very active, just has some issues with eyes and balance. She uses a walker every day now just to make sure she doesn't fall. Love Chris

I might take some ideas from this post.

To not encounter the ire of those who are honoring the "no gifts" request, give the gift in private before or after the event. I remember when I realized the only gifts my parents appreciated were those that made for comfort - a body pillow for my dad who had an aching back, lap robes for both, a comfortable pillow, a rice bag. Boy, did I get a shock this Christmas - my son gave me one of those tacky looking chair covers in a soft breathable fabric because I sleep upright in my chair. Hmm, I thought, he thinks I'm old!