Today is a day of firsts for my niece. It has been a rough few months for her since being released from prison, but God has been working in our lives and shown many blessings. Today she was able to send her kids off to school for the very first time ever. She was so excited! Sophie started 5th grade and Caden started 6th grade. Today she started her first job since being released- working at a law firm no less! Truely God's hand at work. Thank you for your prayers and support. What a blessing. The following is is something she wrote yesterday. It is long, but I had to share....

5 years ago today...I turned myself in.
5 years ago today I remember washing the dishes and the kids wanting to help.
5 years ago today I remember putting their aprons on them putting the chairs at the sink and being extra goofy with them.
5 years ago I remember giving extra long hugs, and extra kisses.
I remember holding them close, trying to breathe them in.
I remember telling my Dad it was time to go.
I remember dropping the kids off and telling them ‘I love you forever and for always no matter what’
I remember thinking they knew something was going on but didn’t know what.
I remember the look on their faces.
I remember the clothes they had on.
I remember the truck ride to Livingston Country.
I remember stopping to get me white undergarments and a white long sleeve shirt.
I remember Aunt Deb by my side the whole way.
I remember her gentle words and her incredible strength.
I remember a silent car ride.
I remember trying to be strong like I wasn’t afraid and that everything was going to be okay.
I remember dying inside and being terrified.
I remember stopping at McDonalds, and walking out because I was such a mess.
I remember sitting on the curb by my Dads truck.
I remember Aunt Deb coming and sitting beside me, giving her my Mommmas earrings I was wearing.
I remember her telling me I was going to be okay and that the kids were going to be just fine.
I remember her calm, her strength, her presence.
I remember pulling into the sheriffs department and finishing my last ciggs.
I remember walking in and saying ‘My Name is Rebecca Morrell and I have warrants for my arrest.
I remember waiting.
I remember shaking.
I remember the detective coming to the door and calling my name.
I remember the hugs from Dad and Aunt Deb.
I remember going into a small room where I emptied my pockets and gave my drivers license.
I remember the sound of the hand cuffs going on me for the very first time.
I remember the walk around to the jail, the detective stopping for a cigg but not letting me have one
I remember the sound of the garage doors opening and closing.
I remember the clicking of the jail doors.
I remember being talked to like I was scum.
I remember my first pat down and how violated I left.
I remember other officers coming to the booking room and their High fives
I remember their ‘yes we got her!’
I remember thinking you didn’t get me, I brought myself in.
I remember my mug shot
I remember changing
I remember the cold, smelly over crowed holding cell.
I remember being alone.
I remember feeling lost, broken and confused.
I remember thinking I don’t belong here.
I remember thinking that so this is what my life has become.

I remember a lot through the next few days as I was arraigned and had a bond on $750,000.
I remember going to church because I was so mad at God and wanted to prove that he didn’t exist and he didn’t love me. How could he do this to me?
I remember going and meeting Pamela Shifter-Erickson. I couldn’t tell you what the message was about but I can tell you because of her I came back to church.
I remember being so shut down, so hard hearted, walls of steal up.
I remember admitting I was an addict.
I remember admitting I was in an extremely abusive marriage.
I remember my Dad, Aunt Deb and Uncle Johns love and support.
I remember somewhere in the midst of trials and tribulations and fear and brokenness I found God.
I remember being a complete mess, unworthy to be loved, have anyone stand by me through out all of this, I was such a total disgrace.
I remember starting to heal, to trust and to overcome.
I remember finding God in my lowest of lows.

I remember the day I was sentenced to 57 months to 20 years.
I remember my first day in prison.

I remember all the love and support from my family.
I remember finding some of the most incredible people I have ever met who are still my most dearest friends.

I remember learning so much about myself.
I remember healing.

I sit back 5 years later and am blessed by what I have accomplished. Nothing was how I thought it would be, but it is exactly what I needed and what my kids needed to heal.

I divorced the devil. I have the most incredible relationship with my dad, aunt, uncle and kids. I am loved. I have amazing friends. I have my voice back and my back bone. I don’t recognize the person I was. I am a new creation. There is hope. There is joy. I am free of addiction. I have scars and bones that haven’t healed right but I am alive and my kids are. I have Christ in my life. I have come full circle and I am so incredibly blessed and grateful.