I have tried several times to write this and share our New Year's eve events with you, but our brush with the bushfires seems so minor now, compared to so many others who have lost everything.

We first knew about the fire here, called the Charmhaven Fire, around 10:30 in the morning. At various times during the day, we congregated out front of our houses with many of our neighbours, talking, waiting and watching the enormous plumes of smoke, 1km away, as it shifted and changed directions, first one way then another, all the while the water carrying helicopter was dropping bucket after bucket loads of water on it and the smoke would go from black to white as it looked liked the chopper was winning.

The winds were coming from the North blowing the fire away from us, but I had heard the weather report the night before, when they had predicted a southerly change for later in the day and this played on my mind, so I kept telling everyone, over and over, that we needed to be prepared. And while everyone argued, (nicely) with me that the wind wouldn't swing 180 degrees, some of them did actually start putting things in their cars.

Ray and I started packing essential items in the car and one neighbour lent me a long, large cage for my cats as I was worried if things went bad their normal carry cases wouldn't make good long term accommodation for them. I came inside and turned the tv on and our fire was being talked about at the Rural Fire Control Centre on National tv as it was heading towards homes to the South of us. Next thing there was a monstrous noise and the house started to shake and it was the huge Fire Retardant Plane flying right over our house as it banked to drop the life saving pink retardant on the homes at Woongarah.
My nerves were on a knife edge and neither Ray or I could eat and I kept grabbing more items we might need, as I thought of them, I closed all the windows and all the internal doors, making sure I knew where my boys were so I could grab them easily.
Going out the back checking where the smoke was, watching our next door neighbours setting up a tent, for a party, in their back yard and thinking how stupid that was. The waiting was terrible.

Some time around 7:30pm I unwillingly dozed off in my chair only to wake up with a start around 8:15pm and as I looked out through our side French doors I could see smoke, heavy smoke, and I knew!!!

I flew out onto the back verandah and could feel the southerly and taste the smoke.

Then I saw a large burning ember float down onto our back lawn and it didn't go out.

I screamed out to Ray, (who was still sitting inside totally oblivious), to grab the hoses NOW! Mercifully he didn't argue (for a change) but loped off downstairs and outside in what seemed like ages, I finally had the hose in my hand and started dousing the house like a crazy woman.... while Ray was doing the same downstairs....
our house has a timber verandah around three sides, with timber posts, and all our windows and four sets of French doors are all timber, as well as the trim above the doors, the stairs and the all the framework underneath our verandah roof. We also have two large leather lounges, out there, and an old fabric chair. I hosed everything in sight, all the time watching across the river as first one tree caught alight, then another, then a whole section was alight and I could our neighbours leaving

I yelled out to Ray that we had to go, and I dropped to hose and ran inside to grab my boys, taking them one at a time, downstairs to put in the cage inside the car, then I ran around turned off the air-conditioner, grabbed my handbag & phone, and as I looked out the window I quickly snapped one photo. I ran to the garage roller door and opened it while Ray climbed into the car and pushed the start button..........
nothing happened
the battery was dead and I just couldn't believe it,
all our plans, all our preparations, watching and waiting for over 10 hours and we were stuck!!!

Thank God the Firefighters arrived and parked right across our driveway, they told us we couldn't leave now anyway as it was too late, just stay inside.

That was all we could do.

As the embers rained down all over our house and inside filled up with smoke, choking us and burning our eyes, I imagined the house was on fire already, (I had never even thought of smoke getting inside the house) and I called my sister, basically to say good-bye. As the smoke inside worsened I was worried about my boys breathing and, right or wrong, we put a fan in front of the car to try and keep them cool and blow the smoke away.
We were helpless and couldn't see what was happening outside where the brave firefighters were standing their ground trying to keep our house from burning, at one stage I heard the water hit our back doors and I was relieved to know they were still there.

Then it was all over. One of them knocked on our door and said the danger had passed and they were moving on to try and get ahead of it. We just had to keep watch for stray embers from the fires smouldering across the river.
I stayed up all night and took several photos of the night sky at 3:30 AM, which turned out to be in the trees in the next street.

I have never had a meltdown before, but I did that night, through sheer frustration and anger.... We had heard, in the morning, that the fire had been started by teenagers and thinking of that, as we were trapped inside, just made me so angry.
I have always said I would never pray for myself, only for others, but I prayed that night for the four of us get through it alive.

We have since found out that three teenagers were 'supposedly' smoking a bong in the bush, and 'supposedly' started the fire by accident... This, on a day of Extreme fire danger when no open flame is allowed outside. Detectives are investigating but if they are teens they'll probably get off with a warning, under our Young Offenders Act. (STUPID and unfair)

I ended up being awake for 36 hours straight as I was just too wound up inside.
Inside our house and car smells of smoke, but that is the least of it. The bushland across the river is now dying, where before it was lush and green all the leaves that didn't burn and now dried out and will soon all fall off. There are no signs of life since the first day, when all the birds were screaming out for hours on end and it broke my heart to hear their cries. It was a breeding ground for a multitude of birds, and the Kookaburras had embraced the breeding boxes put up for them just two years ago. Now the silence is deafening and I cry every time I look over there.
I have waited every day for my precious water dragons to swim across for their feed of bananas but so far I have only seen three and one of them I think had been burned as it came out of the water, tried to eat, then rushed back into the waters edge and was panting in a strange way. She hasn't come back and sadly they are not tame so I couldn't get near her if she did. I just have to pray that some of the parent birds and animals have moved on, to the bushland further west, and they might return when this regenerates.

I'll try and add some photos of our fire, some from downriver, just around the bend, and some of the night sky.

Please remember this one thing when you hear, or read, about Australia being on fire.....
Police have so far made 183 arrests of Arsonists, mostly children and teens, who have DELIBERATELY started fires and that accounts for three quarters of the fires currently burning.
Nearly all the fires are along the coastlines where it is mostly populated by humans.
There has even been talk that there may be a conspiracy to do this to prove that Climate Change is responsible. This is going to be investigated.

Photos 1-4 one street to our left around the bend in the river heading our way
#5 Looking through our dining room window at 8:35PM 31/12/2019
#6 The night sky at 3:30AM 1/01/2020
#7 Our little fire, 418 hectares (1,033 acres), burnt out. The fire started on the peninsular, on the right hand side where it says Pacific Highway, it went west, then south, then turned back and headed north and kept on going to Wyee Road 8kms, (5 miles) away. Our house is where the binoculars are.

The last three photos are across the river 01/01/2020 it looks even worse now as the dried out leaves are now all brown.

This was scary enough, but others had and are still having it far worse than we did. We, ourselves, lost nothing except our peace of mind and it has brought the reality home to us of just how badly other people must be suffering.
Thank you for reading my novel
Huge hugs to my friends here who have texted, messaged and emailed me. I am extremely grateful for your ongoing love, friendship and support.