Good morning dear friends it's 5.45am Wednesday morning. I've had a bad night - got to sleep about midnight!

I wanted to write and let everyone know that Mum had a dreadful fall yesterday about 10.45am. We had the ACAT (Aged Care Assessment Team) assessor with Mum and I from 9.00 till 10.30. Mum didn't get any questions right, like where she lived, what her address was, what country she lived in, asked to spell a word, there were about 30 questions and Mum didn't get any right. The assessor asked her had she had any falls, and of course she said no, as she hadn't.

After Louise left, we went into the garden to pick some roses, she tripped on a rock border of her garden, fell through the barrier fence and landed 1.4 metres flat on her face over the retaining wall. I keep seeing it in my mind every waking moment, it's like a loop that doesn't end. I yelled out to her as she fell, as I was right behind her and tried to catch her, but old people just fall and don't try to put their hands out.

I ran round the end of the retaining wall and told her not to move. She had split the top of her nose, scraped her forehead and of course was bleeding, it was quite warm and the flies were going for the blood. I screamed out for help and thankfully Mark Mum's neighbour heard me and came rushing in to help me. I kept telling Mum not to move and went to ring the Ambulance and Leanne's Mark's wife came and took the phone from me and took over. I went inside to get some tissues and then I got my phone back and rang all my family. Of course being a Tuesday morning all were at work. Thankfully Ben was over at Toronto on the other side of our Lake Macquarie and he said he'd be there in 20 mins. Mum was lying there moaning and I was trying to keep her calm and she kept wanting to move but we told her not to and kept her in the recovery position. The Ambulance came, after me ringing again - they took 20 minutes to get to us!!!
Their were 2 girl Paramedics and then a big man in a second ambulance, they had already rung the fire department as they needed more help to get Mum onto a board and carry her through the house. They placed a neckbrace on her. So we had 6 people to get her into the ambulance. Her vitals were great and I am absolutely amazed that there weren't any broken bones.
When we got to the hospital, I followed the Ambulance and Ben came too. We had to wait nearly an hour for her to come out of Triage. So they finally let us in and then they took her for scans etc. When she came back they moved her to the Emergency Department she still had a neck brace on of course some tubes delivering fluids etc. She had been put into one of those hospital gowns and was very distressed, couldn't breathe as she was laying flat on her back.
We saw doctors, nurses and physios etc. A lovely young intern asked us to wait in a waiting room and she explained that Mum has fractured her C1 (base of the neck) and it was unstable. They have to keep her in the brace for up to 6 weeks. Of course if she moves any great degree she could become paralysed. Hence their concern. Trying to get a person who has Dementia not to move, is going to be a miracle. Ben was cuddling me when they told me what might likely happen and it has now been taken out of our hands to get her into a nursing home, aged care facility etc. I'm so thankful for that as I've been trying for months to do this.
I'll be going in this morning as she will have been moved to the Trauma Ward. Ben and Mia have taken the day of too and got me a Weekly pass for the carpark at the John Hunter Hospital. My poor sister who lives in South Australia, can't really come up till we know what the next steps will be. I don't know for example how long she will actually be in hospital. Another thing to worry about is that because of the position they have Mum in can cause infections in the chest. I've told them that we (Julie and I) have a DNR on Mum's End of Life plan. So they are going to keep her comfortable, fed and will look after her to the best of their ability. She will not be coming back home, and she absolutely loves her home. Mind you she can't do anything anyway as I've been doing everything to keep it looking nice.
Sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to let you know why I've not been on here much. Please pray for me for peace of mind and not to feel guilty for the things that are facing me. I love you all and I pray that if Mum does recover from this fracture that she won't be so objectionable to moving into full time care. I know I just can't do it anymore. Love Chris