THE MAGIC OF TOILET PAPER

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror
complaining to my husband that my breasts are too
small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's
not so, he uncharacteristicall y comes up with a
suggestion. 'If you want your breasts to grow, then
every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it
between them for a few seconds.'


Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet
paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it
between my breasts. 'How long will this take?' I
asked.


'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my
husband replies. I stopped. 'Do you really think
rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts
every day will make my breasts larger over the
years?''


Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt,
didn't it?'
He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he
may even walk again, although he will probably
continue to take his meals through a straw. Stupid,
stupid man.