Community / Embroidery /
12810
by amarilloactor 22 Sep 2008 ( edited Sep 24'08 10:21 )
+47

The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down



Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear the rules
From the female side.



Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem < B>only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see i n only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or

motor sports


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

Comments (31)
17161
by bikermomfl 22 Sep 2008
+13
Silly boy if you actually try to use these answers you will only get in trouble. We make the rules, we change the rules, we are the rules, now be a good boy and take out the trash! (hahahahaha) :-)
3 comments
by emily16838 22 Sep 2008
Bikermon you are so right on! :-)
by nonna57 22 Sep 2008
I 2nd that :) Sorry eric you will be out numbered by the end of the day :)
by kharriman 23 Sep 2008
Good try!!! lol
2796
by blackie 22 Sep 2008
+10
Very clever Eric - can't say agree ON ANY OF THEM but very clever and it gave me some insight into how u men think (like i didn't know already). It is so true Men are from MARS and women are from VENUS, but i am glad you had the B---S to post this on this site and i am still laughing my head off - Sorry Eric CHICKS RULE!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahaha! I think u deserve a bunch of rotten eggs and tomatoes for this one (and a * if i have to ) hahahahahaha! LOL-Blackie. PS> How often do u "GO camping"???? ha!!!!!
by Cutie #8325809 22 Sep 2008
+9
good one i guess u like this pic lol
6816
by tabsolom 23 Sep 2008
+10
Your just looking for trouble, hehe *4u
158718
by jrob 23 Sep 2008
+10
I'm just going to say, "O.K., dear.";)
1 comment
by Cutie #8325809 23 Sep 2008
lol good one jrob
18860
by oldandgrey 23 Sep 2008
+9
Nice try but you are well outnumbered on this one
46153
by dkjack 23 Sep 2008
+8
Thanks a lot Eric! You made my DH's day. I have a feeling I'm going to regret reading this to him. :)
27382
by mpo14011 23 Sep 2008
+10
FUNNY, ERIC!!!!I won't show this to hubby, he'll agree!!!!!! I just can't win!
34304
by adelmarie 23 Sep 2008
+7
I will like to say it was funny but, then I will be lying!!! lol
17461
by michele921 23 Sep 2008
+7
This is great I agree but if it was that easy we wouldn;t me women and you wouldn't be men LOL take it as part of life ,learn, live and be happy!! just always remember there is nothing that bad you have to fight about it, go to bed sleep it off and wake up loving the other in the morning lol
145791
by lbrow 23 Sep 2008
+8
Eric this is hilarious, I grew up n an era when women were just suppose to cook, clean house & have babies. they weren't suppose to have an opinion, Hubby said"I say it & that's the way it is" wife said,"yes dear" Boy we have come a long way baby. *4u
2 comments
by katydid 23 Sep 2008
A men!!
by nonmusicmom 23 Sep 2008
Yes we have and most of the time it's a good thing.
33451
by marjialexa 23 Sep 2008
+6
Hilarious, and perfectly true!! I think I liked the one about Sunday sports the best, hee hee hee. Thank you Eric, you made my day! Marji
9846
by workbecky 23 Sep 2008
+6
Eric, this is wonderful. But since I am a women and men NEED a woman's help--I have to point out that Christopher Columbus may not have received directions but he didn't end up where he planned to go so MAYBE a woman SHOULD have given him directions. Thanks for a wonderful laugh. Becky
14775
by salsabil 23 Sep 2008
+6
I'm a lucky girl my boys don't know this rules (-;
11357
by wendymay60 23 Sep 2008
+5
Thankyou for this Eric. Will send this to my Hubbie at work. (at a minesite) no dought he will print it out & post on the notice board. *4u
145305
by mops 23 Sep 2008
+5
Very funny, and such a well balanced view..
4825
by tolgamum 23 Sep 2008
+6
Both hubby and I laughed over this - see I even let him read it! However.... he said you're a brave man posting this in a predominantly female site and asks how often you "camp out"??
12843
by quiltgrama 23 Sep 2008
+6
Cute Eric wont show to dh he would agree fully. But you made me laugh for the day. Have a great one.
12821
by stitchship 23 Sep 2008
+5
I am safe! My husband rarely gets on-line... no chance he will read this! My goodness! Some of these are impossible! Sorry Eric, by now you have been overruled! But it was a pretty good try! LOL * And who has ever heard of a woman having too many shoes!
2375
by bonita1313 23 Sep 2008
+5
Eric--You are "SPECIAL"!!
31942
by blhamblen 23 Sep 2008
+3
OH You ARE a Brave Man...Hope the couch at your house isn't lumpy..or maybe it should be lumpy..you won't want to "camp out" that often:)
12985
by celticlady1031 23 Sep 2008
+4
Wich #1 do I answer first! If Christopher Columbus had asked for directions he would have landed in the right place. I have to agree with most of the women here and say.... Eric you know where the sheets & couch are.... Enjoy. It's a good laugh and a nice try. LOL
Mickey
27071
by sqdancer 23 Sep 2008
+4
Now aren't you getting frisky Eric...LOL...nice one...always good for a laugh....xxx
92391
by gramsbear 23 Sep 2008
+4
Thanks Eric my DH and I both liked that one!
62461
by clawton 23 Sep 2008
+4
Good one Eric. I can see this way of thinking in men. My husband would really love this but don't think I'll share it. Thanks for sharing with us. You are a brave man!!! :):):)
27608
by colonies1 23 Sep 2008
+3
I liked the kettle with a man boiling..........cute. Flowers for you Eric.,
8045
by grannyo 23 Sep 2008
+4
lol Thanks for the laughs. I have to share this with my husband. :-) *4u
743327
by gerryvb 23 Sep 2008
+4
I think my husband agrees with you. and for me : I think it's fun , you made me laugh!
85867
by katydid 23 Sep 2008
+3
No man has ever sat down in the middle of the night, in the dark on the toilet thinking the seat was down. Admit it ladies!!! Apologies are not accepted.
28916
by modo 23 Sep 2008
+4
ha ha ha *
3594
by sufferingsonje 24 Sep 2008
+1
Ok it is a good laugh. But its like walking on thin ice. lol *4u