Random Musings

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we
could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would
have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live
forever.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that
most people die of natural causes.

When weeding a garden, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on
it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a
valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house
is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these
days no one talks about seeing UFO1’s like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make
it seem normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I
think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink
whatever comes out."?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken
there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta
its butt."

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get
undressed?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?