"A Woman's Rebuttal"

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our
underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The next time you and your buddies make jokes about
armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you
successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with you - it's not bonding -
it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have
to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you
wouldn't ask in bed.

8. The next time you make jokes about female drivers,
research the number of accidents caused by rubber-
necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends
keep track of "who's easy"?

10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't
care.

11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don't mind if you look in the mirror to check your
appearance - in fact, please do!

13. When you're out with us, please wear "our" favorite
outfit rather than "yours" - the torn jeans and dirty
T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system
to indicate a Positive vs. A negative grunt.

15. Don't insist that we "get off the stupid phone" and
then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily "women's work";
besides, most of the "dirt" and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is
it then you never want to cook?

19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling...
However, very few raises or promotions were gained by
arm wrestling the boss.