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12810✽
by amarilloactor 25 Feb 2009 ( edited Feb 27'09 05:38 )
+61✽

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to

> respond like this?
>
> Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina
dog
> chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the
checkout
> line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> What did she think I had- an elephant? So, since I'm retired and
have
> little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
> was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn't,
> because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
> pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming
> out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it
> was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to
> load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or
two
> every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so
it
> works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
> that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
> food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
> Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
> laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
>

Comments (40)
158720✽
by jrob 25 Feb 2009
+8✽
That is hysterical! Wish I were that quick witted!
57491✽
by lindaavolio 25 Feb 2009
+7✽
GOOD ONE ERIC!!!! LOL @@@ I enjoyed that one!
92391✽
by gramsbear 25 Feb 2009
+7✽
Thanks Eric, I really needed a good laugh! That was cute! I guess I need to start that diet, but I will watch for Irish setters,
1 comment
by lflanders 26 Feb 2009
Might ought to watch for the cars. They are the ones that can do the most damage! I just could not resist that! Sorry. I'm hanging my head down in shame..Not really All of this is so funny! This made my night!!!!!! Linda
11357✽
by wendymay60 25 Feb 2009
+6✽
Very good, need a good laugh to start my day
200127✽
by sissibrode 25 Feb 2009
+6✽
SO GOOD !!!! Thanks
329✽
by demiotiv 25 Feb 2009
+5✽
Thanks so much for this laugh, this one is very good!
28916✽
by modo 25 Feb 2009
+7✽
You are so funny Eric*
88650✽
by manami 25 Feb 2009
+6✽
Eric, I really needed a good laugh! This is a good one :D
5329✽
by debrar 25 Feb 2009
+5✽
Loved it, Loved it, absolutely loved it. You are just sooooo bad. Wish I had been there.
44906✽
by dlonnahawkins 25 Feb 2009
+5✽
Ok - Funny - glad you shared.
122866✽
by meganne 25 Feb 2009
+6✽
Thanks so much Eric, laughter is the absolute BEST medicine. hugs n roses, M
by Cutie #8325809 25 Feb 2009
+4✽
you my dear sir is a trip lol i LOVE it
11357✽
by wendymay60 25 Feb 2009
+4✽
Hubbie came in & wanted to know what I had been laughing about, about 1 hr ago so I put this up for him to read. he is going to share it with his ham radio mates on friday morning. Herb said thankyou
27071✽
by sqdancer 25 Feb 2009
+4✽
Thank you so much Eric, you put the light in the day...hugs x0x0x0x
5257✽
by darmoola 26 Feb 2009
+4✽
Oh! Thank you Eric....I really needed a good laugh....
85867✽
by katydid 26 Feb 2009
+4✽
Too much Purina dog food!!! I had a can of left over dog food. I lost my dog last summer. I decided to give it to the cat. I opened the can and put about half in my KiKi's dish. She took one sniff and walked out of the room. I guess there is a difference!!!
24961✽
by lflanders 26 Feb 2009
+6✽
I have 2 little Pekingese Girls looking at me like I am crazy! I can not quit laughing. This was as good as it gets when it comes to funny! I have an uncle that I can just hear saying something like that and not cracking a smile. Joke or not, I wouldn't take anything for that tonight! Thanks for the laughter! Linda
46153✽
by dkjack 26 Feb 2009
+5✽
Thanks Eric :) By the way do you have a dog? :)
14513✽
by gayle950 26 Feb 2009
+5✽
Great story needed a good laugh
145792✽
by lbrow 26 Feb 2009
+5✽
ok eric u r back to your old self. I'm so glad!! I got a good laugh out of this. *
34304✽
by adelmarie 26 Feb 2009
+4✽
ROFL!!! my tummy hurts now, you are something else
463507✽
by sewmom 26 Feb 2009
+4✽
Good One. I'll have to share it if you don't mind.
15289✽
by migs 26 Feb 2009
+5✽
Priceless!!!
1 comment
by camylow 26 Feb 2009
I need this picture blown up for the grandbaby to be's room.. Where did you find it.
34246✽
by camylow 26 Feb 2009
+3✽
That was really good, but it was extremely hard trying not to laugh out loud and wake the dh up.
58029✽
by iris2006 26 Feb 2009
+3✽
That's a funny story Eric, I have had a very good laugh. You made my day.
743385✽
by gerryvb 26 Feb 2009
+2✽
LOL, thanks for sharing!
145312✽
by mops 26 Feb 2009
+2✽
I read this once but it made me laugh again,thanks for sharing.
17126✽
by waterlily 26 Feb 2009
+2✽
Oh My..I think I laughed as hard as the guy behind the story teller! Thanks!
33451✽
by marjialexa 26 Feb 2009
+3✽
Oh, Eric, I'm still giggling!!! Sounds like my Dad, actually. As Jeff Foxworthy would have said to the lady, "Here's your sign!!" Luv ya, Marji
7293✽
by debleerl 26 Feb 2009
+2✽
That's was hilarious, I needed a good laugh LOL*
12985✽
by celticlady1031 26 Feb 2009
+2✽
Eric, I still love this one and wish I had the nerve to say something like it everytime someone aske me a really dumb question. Who was it that said there are no dumb questions? I beg to differ on that one!
29871✽
by auntbaba 26 Feb 2009
+1✽
Dear Eric, Thank-you! I needed a good laugh!
115850✽
by asterixsew 27 Feb 2009
+1✽
Eric I have just read this for the third time and had a brilliant laugh each time, so...thank you very much.
3047✽
by mandor64 27 Feb 2009
+1✽
Who said we are here to just share embroidery stuff?! ... ha.. Thanks Eric. Mary
27382✽
by mpo14011 27 Feb 2009
+1✽
Very funny, Eric.Wish I had the guts to say something like this
2746✽
by cracker 27 Feb 2009
+1✽
You should send that one to jeff Foxworthy!!! CUTE CUTE CUTE!!! I'll have to remember that.
5120✽
by nurselilly 27 Feb 2009
+1✽
pmsl i had that come through on an email before christmas i thought it was sooooooooo funny :) i so wanted to try it out in my supermarket lol
20661✽
by kttyhwk4 27 Feb 2009
+1✽
Had read this before but I read again and am still laughing.
8431✽
by jasanne 27 Feb 2009
0✽
I've seen it before, but it's so funny... Apparently I had a Great Uncle who would likely have done something like this. If someone tooted him at an intersection he would stop his car, get out and walk back and ask them - deadpan faced - what they wanted, and go on that they had tooted him so they must have wanted to speak to him... Might be in the family, but I'd never have the nerve!!!!!!!!
3794✽
by cordura5 27 Feb 2009
+2✽
Rather than Jeff Foxworthy, it is more of a Bill Engvall joke. "Here's your sign..."

Like jasanne said, I would never have the nerve, even though I would want to try it. Of course, catch me on a bad day and, well, who knows what might come out of my mouth! (no profanity though, I can guarantee that...)