"A More Accurate Computer Term Dictionary"

State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-
art computer to become obsolete.

G4: Apple's new Macs that make you say, "Gee, it's
four times faster than the computer I bought for the
same price a microsecond ago."

Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and
saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money
is no object."

Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by
computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax
Error.

GUI (pronounced "gooey"): What your computer
becomes after spilling your coke on it.

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer
errors.

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer
errors easier to generate.

Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a
computer.

Laptop Computer: A device invented to force
businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and
on business trips.

Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any
critical deadline.

System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL
of your software.