What a different experience we had with a new foster child.....

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by camylow 07 Feb 2010 ( edited Mar 11'10 04:33 )

We had a little boy (13 but the size of a 8 year old)...He has aspergers diseas...bi-polar...some internal problems and a few other issues...He would want mac n cheese, but because my hubby didn't cook it right he wouldn't eat it...then he wanted scrambled eggs...well my husband didn't stir them right, refused to eat them....so we went to steaks, they weren't peppered right...wound up eating peanut butter n jelly....that night went pretty good except for the food...........

the next night was pretty good except for the food also...we took him to the grocery store to let him pick out his food he would like...he picked a chicken mcnugget tv dinner.....go home and cooked it for him, he took one bite and it was "this isn't like McDonalds...so there wen't that out the door...later that night he started to wind up....the next day (friday) I had off and spent time with him.....He started saying some pretty explicit things to me...went off telling us to kiss off etc....The things he started doing were beyond my experience....My hubby had to put him in a hold or 2...

when we started to leave to meet hiis foster dad, the kid was way off his rocker....He tried to crawl out of the seat belts, started spitting all over the car and towards us, calling us every name in the book..and when he saw that wasn't working, he started screaming at the highest pitch imaginable...I think about 2 minutes before we got there, he started to wear himself out.....

The poor foster dad was told all that happened and he turneed around with this awful plea and asked us if we were still on for the next weekend.....

I do not know what to do....I cannot have him around our two foster boys and yet That poor family needs a desperate break also...We commend him and his wife for their ability to do this with him for the past 3 years.....I guess we were the last foster family to be tried out....

I am not afraid of him as far as physical affects..he was so week he could even pinch hard.....but as far as the sensitivity of the verbal things...I am not so sure...I think it could become a liability somehow....

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Comments (15)

115778✽

by asterixsew 07 Feb 2010

+3✽

Poor lad. Aspergers children can be difficult, he probably found being with you out of his comfort zone. I have met many children who would not eat because of something that put them off it. I can still see a friends child having hysterics because I did not cook a pizza as his mum did. I can still see the mark he made in the wall when on another visit he threw scissiors at someone and they hit the wall.

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

I do not think we will be doing respite for him again...he was out of our league.

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360671✽

by noah 07 Feb 2010

+3✽

i (we)took in kids older ones for 14 years just quit last summer as my son(policeman)was bringing me ones that needed to be locked up.I have not told about being a foster parent on here before Anyways we prayed in there bedroom welayed hands on there pillow when they were at school & prayer was the only thing that commed them down(God)As time passes there feel more at home but the first few days was hell on earth.We were called parent thereparest we stoud between them & jail :):)keep at it !!

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

AW BLESS YOU.....I have 2 14 year old boys right now in our home....they are soooo very different...good boys though,,,they have their issues.but for the most part they are really great kids....

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743327✽

by gerryvb 07 Feb 2010

+4✽

I truely have respect for all you are doing. I think it's a hard job and hope the Lord will give you the strenght and wisdom how to handle. I have no experience in this. I can only say: you are a good and special caring person.*4u!

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

Hi Gerry....I am not so sure sometimes if patience is what I have or not.. Most of the time the kids interfere with us going to church and worshipping our LORD....I do not want that to happen and I find I do not care for the intereference at all...

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10191✽

by nanniesara 07 Feb 2010

+3✽

I can kinda of relate to this child behavior, my husband's nephew has Aspergers and he is on medication for it and it is very trying for other family members to understand at first and now we are learning to understand more. They are special children. Is he on any medication for this. If not they need to get him on something. I pray for them cause it is not a fun thing to deal with I am sure.

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

He is on all kinds of meds for alot of different issues.....

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2685✽

by lildoll 08 Feb 2010

+2✽

PLEASE BE CAREFUL OF CHILDREN LIKE HIM, I WAS A FOSTER PARENT FOR OVER 22YEARS, HAD TO HAVE A BREAK, OR GET BROKEN, THEY CAN GET YOU IN LOTS OF TROUBLE TELLING LIES TO SOCIAL WORKERS, OR GET EVEN WITH YOU AT NITE WHEN YOUR ASLEEP, SPEAKING FROM EXPERINCE !!
GOD BLESS YOU FOR TRYING, BUT I CAN'T DO IT ANY MORE, WE CAME OUT WITH OUR HEADS ATTATCHED, AND I LIKE IT. DON'T TURN YOUR BACK...

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

He was only with us a couple of days to give his foster parents a break....They are trying to have us do rspite 2 weekends a month...
I do not want to expose our other foster kids to that behavior though....

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4891✽

by shazells 08 Feb 2010

+3✽

My heart goes out to you I have worked with some realy troublesome kids and my Daughter has one of her own that has special needs and deep down in every child there is a gift of God it just touches us all in different ways Hang in there you will be rewarded Hugs Shazells

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

I know everyone children and adults are GOD'S
children....I think his needs extend beyond a foster home....

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4685✽

by marymilf41 08 Feb 2010

+3✽

i can only emagine how hard this would be you are a very special lady to help all these kids and just take comefurt in knowing that you can not help them all and you need to only do what you can as you have children in your home that need your care also you have tried now move on to others the right person will come along and help this family when they least expect it no one persone can do it all dont fill guilty just be strong for what you can do good luck and we all will pray that he will find that special person to help him out and we will pray that you keep up the loving work that you can do also love and hugs mary

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

Well thank you, I sure needed that reassurance....

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33871✽

by grandmamek 08 Feb 2010

+2✽

It sounds as though you already went above and beyond your normal realm of duties. I think you are right in giving this some second thoughts especially since you already have two other fOster children in your home. The lord will provide you with the guidance and answers you need. Perhaps social services can come up with a different alternative for the other family. I hope you make the decision that is right for you and your family. Hugs, Mary

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145791✽

by lbrow 08 Feb 2010

+3✽

Deanna, has anyone told u lately, U r a Saint, both u & your husband. This is a very sick child as u already know. Both physically & mentaly, some of these things he cannot help others he can, He needs very special help from people who have special training on how to redirect him & I do not know if u have had that speciality training. With 2 other children u have I'm not sure but this may b detrimental to them. Also with all that's wrong I don't imagine he will make it into adulthood & if he does he will probably b institutionalized. No one can tell u what to do but u have a lot depending on you with the work u have chosen. There are others u must think of but all of this is between U & your husband & God. Remember u r only 2 people & can only do so much. U cannot take on the entire world & God doesn't expect u to. Much love & prayers always for u. Lillian

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

Maybe not the entire world, but my hubby would sure like to try,,,,Not sure what his current foster care home will do, but I HAVE NOT had that nuch training in that dept....

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57801✽

by edithfarminer 08 Feb 2010

+3✽

You are a very special lay, but I believe what you yourself say is right HE NEEDS SPECIAL CARE somewhere.
The people from social care should know where and how.
You are putting your own family at risk and that surely is too much to ask and no help to him.I pray that someone will give him the help he needs.
Hugs Edith

1 comment

by camylow 08 Feb 2010

hes been with the family he is at for 3 years, but as he grows older, I think it is becoming too much for them also

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70914✽

by jacquipaul 09 Feb 2010

+2✽

My heart goes out to you; your situation is so difficult. My prayers are with you, the child and the other foster family.
Love,
Jacqueline

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18167✽

by ezzemml 09 Mar 2010

+2✽

when-i-had-foster-kids-with-bad-language-or-bad-attitude-or-told-lies-I-got-a-product-from-the-chemist-that-you-use-for-mouth-ulsers-her-it-was-called-gensons-orJensen-violet-and-it-was-purple-and-stained-the-mouth-or-tongue-for-days-and-I-placed-a-dab-on-their-tongue-when-they-were-sleeping-and-if-they-didn't-stop-that-stain-got-bigger-never-had-to-use-it-more-than-twice-in-a-row-the-kids-never-knew-where-it-came-from-i-made-up-a-story-and-nomatter-what-age-it-worked.don't-know-if-that-product-is-still-available-these-days-maybe-the-chemist-can-rcomend-something.

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3780✽

by cissie03 09 Mar 2010

+2✽

That boy is more than a hand full, I can imagine you don't want this happening in your house with the other children. Take care.

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by jrob 09 Mar 2010

+1✽

Deanna, he can't say it, so I will, thank you for taking care of him in the best way you knew how. How horrible his world must feel to him. What inner turmoil. It breaks my heart to hear about him. You could discuss with the other two boys how sick he is and how lonely and confused and recruit their help in making him comfortable. It might be a growing experience for them rather than a trauma. Perhaps as a family you could all surround him with prayer and open arms until that time that he could accept that he wasn't being punished by being with you, but having a vacation. Whatever you do, I know it will be what you feel is best. You have my prayers and admiration.

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by haydebug 11 Mar 2010

0✽

You are a blessing for the work you and your husband do by being a foster parent! I know it is hard when you are not use to those type of manners, But I am sure he is confused and acting out to test his bountries. I would not know what to do! Again You are a true blessing.

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