for Easter to see my Mom and sister. It WAS a great day, and I'm so glad we shared it, but they way it ended was so bad. We got to their house, and were settling in, when he just collapsed in the kitchen and died. No warning, he had slightly high bp, but that was under meds. He was 54. I wish I was as numb as I was then. I didn't eat for a week. And then he was buried a day before our anniversary. Would have been 40 years this Sunday coming.

But, I visited the cemetery this morning, and the daffodils and hyacinths I planted are blooming, and the sky was blue. Then I did some shopping, and am now back home sewing on Easter things for my 2 grandsons-that he never got to know. OOps, I was doing better there.
Does it ever get better? Took me a long time to be able to talk about him without crying, and still everything I do sparks a memory that should make me feel good to have had, but I feel left out of life. Sure am glad I have on line places to talk to others and feel less alone. You go into your life never anticipating being left behind.
But tomorrow I will get up early, and go to work. The office manager is my best friend, we've known each other since we were in 4th grade, and she'll give me a hug, and I'll start another year. thanks for listening.
Jo