I finally learned my lesson. I just tell them that I have found it best not to do that type of thing for friends. Just doesn't work.

I try not to do things for "certain people" if they have the attitude "its my way or the highway" and then complain about the results. I guess you have to have the attitude you got what you asked for, so this is the charge for said work and if you aren't pleased TO BAD! Also if they complain it will give you good reason to NEVER do anything for them again. Good Luck!

I must be doing something wrong, nobody ever asks me to do embroidery for them????
Digitising from Cute family but never embroidery.
hmmm? curious??? :-))

I learned a while back, if I stitch a project for a friend, I give it as a gift. No money exchanged. A few months back I spent hours putting idea after idea and saving each as jpg and e-mailing and all the feedback I got was "I'm not feeling it". The end! Kay

Sarah, what I would do is have my own set of towels handy with designs placed in different areas and then you can show them how a towel would look if the designs were where they wanted. Just an idea, since I haven't even embroidered a bath towel yet! I did do holiday kitchen towels as gifts for my Mom, aunts and a few friends but they can't complain since they were free.

Sorry to hear that. I just said no - and told her if it does not feel right on both sides - no deal. No money can keep a friend a friend. both sides have to fell good, so ask your heart not your head.

Oh and aks her why, perhaps the folds or hangs the towels another way you do ?!

Tell your friend that you will put the design where she wants it, but that you cannot take any responsibility for the outcome, and if you are like me and can't ask for payment, tell her she must pay for the embroidery cottons (full reels) and the stabilizers etc. I did that and "my friend" has not asked me again!! :)

I don't embroider for any one.. and plenty have asked but then it becomes a job and not my hobby anymore..of course they say they would pay..but no... I give alway every thing I do for gifts..

I'm the worst ever - I don't know how to say NO. Thank goodness at this stage I do not do towels!
Elizabeth

So many of us with the same situation. My problem is i can not say NO and I have done more projects for freinds than for me. I have three projects to do a baby dress(all of it), towels and a church tablecloth, is not for my church, the last one is a big project i have the designs from Anna Bove, and everything is ready i just do not have the inspiration to start, for me, embroidery is art and like every artist you have to be in the mood for it,with so mamy thing happennig in my life now, i do not have the desire to do any work. I agree with trriweistra, put the designs where ever she want and make her reponsable for the finish project.

When I do it for friends I usually do it for free or tell them that I don't have the time right now. If they OFFER payment I tell them I love gift cards to Joanne since the supply for embroidery is rather exspensive.

Tell her to "do it YOURSELF!"

Sometimes I have a customer who orders a lamp and it is not my style and I don't think it will come out properly. I show them examples and make a blue print but after this it is their responsibilty. I have to admit that in some cases it looked better than I expected (like the angellamps with pink and orange for baby twingirls ;o).
How close is this friend to you? Could you do a tiny stitched example for her? She should like it, not you (I know this is terrible crafting things that doesn't meet your own taste; for me it is business *lol*).
Greetings, Bettina

So just did you say to her is the question here???carolyn

Lots of good advice. I for one am going to take many and use. I also have a hard time sayin No! and regret it later. Family is the biggest pest as they feel it should have been done yesterday.

Sarah......I usually will be honest with anyone and will not let their "bad judgement" reflect on my embroidery work. We can usually negotiate on a more appropriate placement or design, but I won't do something that I know does not look good and have it reflect on me as an embroiderer, however I have a small business, so it makes sense to keep a good reputation. Friends do sometimes make it more difficult, but I will not make an exception for them. If they are a true friend they will understand........hugs to you & good luck....Vicki

I do not like to do projects on "instruction" as I like the way I do things. Whenever I had a request I was never satisfied with the result and it becomes expensive as I would go and buy another item to redo it to perfection. Second problem is I am not a seller so I can not make a price and always loose out on this one too. Third problem is I do not know how to say no. So I perfectly hear your problem - would love a good answer that deals with all 3 problems.

Tell her you are not a "professional" embroiderer, and this is the only way you know how to do it that it will be successful, because this is the way you were taught by your dealer. And tell her you will gladly provide the labor free as a friend, but she will have to give you the cost of the materials to embroider with. Also, have the name and phone number of a local "professional" embroidery company on hand, and explain that if she really wants it her way, maybe these folks can help her. If she's that stubborn and calls them, she'll find out what embroidery really costs, and will be glad to give you the cost of materials. They'll probably also tell her that it can't be done her way. If she insists after that, tell her you won't waste your time doing something that you know isn't going to turn out right. And I suppose, ask yourself if she's a true 'friend', or just an 'acquaintance'. In my opinion, true friends don't ask for the impossible, and don't use their friends to get something for free.

Just an opinion, an observation: why do some of us have such a hard time saying "no" to things we don't want to do? If you're not in the business of embroidery, then just say you're not, it's just a hobby, and I only do things for myself or as gifts. I don't take requests. If you need an 'excuse', tell people your husband won't let you spend so much time and money on stuff for other people without getting paid for it. Or use the 'excuse' that you're not experienced enough, or your machine won't do what they're asking, or that it's been acting up and you wouldn't be sure of the outcome. When someone asks "Would you do this for me?" there are two ways to answer that question, "Yes" and "NO". "No" is not a dirty word, it's not being unkind, it's not being "not nice". It's being true to yourself, your life, how you want to spend your time, what you enjoy. It amazes me that we in the USA have commercials advising kids to "Just say NO to drugs", overcome all the peer pressure, don't do something that for a little while will make you feel good, and expect them to have the guts to actually follow that advice, and yet we as grown women can't say 'no' to somebody that asks us to embroider something. Needless to say, I don't have a problem with it, and nobody asks me to do embroidery. "No" was probably the first word I learned as a child. If you lose friends because you won't embroider a towel, what were those friends worth anyway? Respect yourselves, and expect respect from other people. If you act like a doormat, you'll be used as one. Use your time as YOU want to use it, not to fulfill the expectations of others. If you want to embroider for others, do it with joy, and with the understanding up front that you need some money to replentish your supplies. This stuff doesn't drop from heaven like manna, we have to pay for it. Show them the sticker price of your stabilizer and thread. Sewists know what things cost, others don't, so it's just educating them.

Ok, enough of the sermon. But ladies, do respect yourselves, your time, your work. As my dear late DH who was ever the Marine used to say, "Grow a pair!" Crude, but to the point. You were not born to be slaves to the whims of others, you were born valuable beloved children of God with free will. Use it.

Hugs, Marji

My hair dresser did this to me after seeing some clothing I wore with emb.
She purchased the kitchen towels... then proceeded to tell me just how she wanted the design put on and where she wanted the words.
I told her where I would put it and how the words would be spaced, etc. and if she wanted it that way I would do it.... didn't charge her.
She was happy with it when it was finished..... but it made me so nervous that I told her I don't take orders and don't have the time..... just wanted to help her out this time..... Good thing, too, because she had 4 other items she wanted done! She never gives me a break with the hair.... so I don't feel like doing it for free for her that many times and I'm not a professional and don't want to charge.
I JUST SAY --- SORRY, NO, I DO THIS FOR MYSELF AND FAMILY....
I have done a little bit for craft shows.... but do not take orders.
MJDG

You got some good answers here. I agree with family too. Some of my kids think I should do their gifts for other people and yet seem to hate the idea that I'm tied up in embroidery and quilting. Good luck!

You have gotten lots of advice - that I will be remembering for future reference if I need it. Thanks

Sarah, even when I am doing embroidery for customers I make my opinion very clear. I very firmly guide them with colours positions etc... I might be a bit of an embroidery bully but I want my work to look good. I don't really know how you can manage it because I don't know your neighbour but you could suggest that if she was having a house built she would not tell the brick layer how to lay the bricks.
Hugs Alice.

If the friend is a paying customer, do what she wants but let her know you will not be responsible for the outcome. If she is not paying, then just say no. It's hard but not impossible.

WOW...I certainly did not expect so many Cuties to come to my rescue. I have taken in all what has been said. It is difficult to say no to a close (difficult) friend but I have decided that I will not be a door mat. People who have no idea of sewing, let alone machine embroidery have no idea what goes into a piece of work - hooping, stablizing, topping, needles and thread but I do not need to tell you gals. Thank you. *4 all.

This question brings to mind a conversation I had with my sister to-day. I had a top on that I had emb a design on and as soon as she saw it said "I have a black top can you emb a design on it for me" My reply was as long as you are prepared that it could stuff-up. She has left the design up to me. Again I stressed that it could mess up. Her reply was that everything I do always works out OK (little does she know). I told her she could end up wearing the top around the house. So fingers (and everything else) crossed. LOL. Marg

This is probably too late to help you, but, many seem to need to know this---how to say "NO'.
"I'm so sorry but I just can't do it right now:"
"I just have so many things going right now that I can't possibly do it."
"I'd love to help you out but this project would take way more experience than I have."
"NO, sorry."
Any of the above just need to be said with a smile and no other explaination.

I have to answer here so hopefully meganne will see this! I have a very special request! I can't PM you - it that because you are a topic. I need my angelbaby811 Pond stitch out. I want it sooner than I can figure out how to split the file! I am asking you first so please say yes and I will send the fabric and anything else you need. Are you in the States? why can't I see your personal?

Isnt it interesting that those who have no knowledge of what the embroidery entails are the experts

Sarah, you must just put your foot down and tell her that it will work better the way you know.
Let her sit there while you do it, so she can see how long it takes.

Tell her that from now on you will have to charge
her a fee for any embroidery or sewing.

Hugs Yvonne