122864✽
WOW! What a day I had today, visited by two lovely Cuties and spoke to a third.
Had a visit from hubby & the good news that I am finally being relieved of the care of his Mum who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and advanced dementia and will be fast tracked into an aged care facility.
Ray and I have only been together 7 & 1/2 years, MIL has lived with us and I have been her carer for 6 & 1/2 of those years, to the detriment of my own health.
And to anyone who thinks I may sound selfish wanting my life back, I say walk a mile in my shoes before you pass judgement or comment on me, because the burden has been sucking the very life out of me.
If I wasn't in so much pain I would be doing the happy dance, big time, because now Ray and I might get to have the honeymoon we missed out on, or even just go to a movie or go out for dinner or just sit and watch a movie together without that third person always being there.
Yes, today has been a good day!
Coral and I shared a lot of laughs trying to get this photo of us with my mobile phone.
It was a pity we just couldn't swing it for Pauline and Coral to meet, but it will happen and I can see the four of us (Chris too) spending a great many fun days together.
1 images:
[1]
Comments (48)
234507✽
Oh Dear Meg, what brilliant news. I've been waiting to hear this for a long time. Great picture of you two - looks like your old self. I'll chat to you tomorrow afternoon once you get home. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW THRILLED I AM!!! LOVE FROM ME!
2 comments
Joybells ringing in my heart. hugs Helen
Thanks Chris. You and Polly both KNOW how tough things have been and I really appreciate your support. Talk to you tomorrow. Hugs n love, Meg
33986✽
Meganne nobody will think that you are selfish. After the death of my aunt I read her diary and how much she suffers while she has to care for her husband who had Alzheimer. You look so happy now and it is so nice to see you glow :o)
While you can't dance I will give you some dancers *lol*
Hugs to you and take care
Bettina
While you can't dance I will give you some dancers *lol*
Hugs to you and take care
Bettina
1 comment
Bettina, I love your dancers. hugs Helen
16251✽
by
terriweistra
13 Feb 2012
+13✽
Woohoo, I am soooo very happy for you. You have been visited by friends and your super hubby AND you get to enjoy your home with just the two of you :) I cannot believe that ANYONE would criticize you for the happiness and relief you feel that your MIL is going in to care. You have sacrificed six and a half years AND your health to care for someone else, I reckon it's time for you to be a tad selfish and enjoy "retirement" which is just the two of you :)
Best wishes love
Best wishes love
1 comment
Thanks so much Terri, I am actually looking forward to going home to the promise of a better life.
Hugs and roses, Meganne
Hugs and roses, Meganne
255054✽
You have every right to want to do a happy dance. My wonderful aunt had exactly what your MIL has and I know just how draining it can be. Meganne it is now your turn. Hugs Sarah.
78119✽
I'm glad to see you smiling and happy. Nobody will criticise you, be sure of it. Enjoy your freedom and take care of yourself now. Hugs, Lidia
1 comment
P.S.: You have lovely hair! Hugs, Lidia
39739✽
Bless you dear Meganne. You have been a loving daughter in Law to you husbands Mum, who was in need. You will always know that you did your best for her. I am happy you are able to get back to your own home, furballs and own bed. Now it is time for you and Ray. There are no selfish thoughts from here. You are an inspiration to me and many others, so take time now for you and yours. We love you dearly. hugs Helen
2 comments
By the way. When you are a lot better and can travel, I will travel to Newcastle for that cup of tea.
Thanks Helen, it's been a long tough haul & I'm afraid I am just worn out, but I'll hold you to that cuppa at Newcastle when I'm allowed out again. :-) Hugs n roses, Meg
33871✽
by
grandmamek
13 Feb 2012
+11✽
Good news all the way around. Glad to hear you are going home and now you will be at peace knowing your MIL is getting the advanced best care that she needs. It will be the best situation for you, Ray and her. She will adjust just fine and be in good hands. It is good to see you smiling and looking happy. Hope you feel better soon. Hugs, Mary
1 comment
Thanks Mary, no change come easily but some are unavoidable. hugs n roses, Meganne
743327✽
so all good news,enjoy this good start of the new week. Enjoy, but don't overdo please. Big hugs for youi!!
1 comment
Thanks Gerry, life has got to get better. hugs n roses, Meg
76409✽
great news and you are not being selfish I have been in your shoes but with my FIL and it does take its toll . You now need to think of number one because if you don't then you can't help anyone elseHugs Raelene
1 comment
Thanks Raelene. I know there will be some who will criticise but I know she needs far more professional care now than I can provide.
Hugs and roses, Meganne
Hugs and roses, Meganne
211079✽
by
shirlener88
13 Feb 2012
+10✽
So good to see you smiling and with Coral - all will work out for the family.
1 comment
It is a painful decision Shirlene, one not made lightly, but it is way past time as Mum has also been having mini strokes.
I know it will be the best thing for her too. Hugs n roses, Meg
I know it will be the best thing for her too. Hugs n roses, Meg
64451✽
Happy for you Meganne and I do not think that is being selfish, sometimes you have to think of yourself especially when your health takes a hit,
Love the pic, you sure look like your having fun and the pain will fade with time,
Take care
hugs
Love the pic, you sure look like your having fun and the pain will fade with time,
Take care
hugs
1 comment
Thanks Michelle, it will be good to be free of the constant demands.
Coral and I couldn't stop laughing, I couldn't keep the camera still and my arm wasn't long enough. LOL!!
Coral and I couldn't stop laughing, I couldn't keep the camera still and my arm wasn't long enough. LOL!!
32948✽
by
jofrog2000
13 Feb 2012
+12✽
Don't you dare have a moment of doubt that this was the right thing at the right time. You have fun with that husband of yours, you deserve it.
When my Husband died suddenly at age 54, I was left with his Mom, who we had been caretaking for. He was an only- I was it. There was no way to afford a home, so I did it all, from trimming her hair,bathing, popping her off to day care while she could still do that, for the next 2 long years. She did pass in a home, because she had been sick and medicare paid for that, but what a journey. I keep telling God even now, I am humble enough, where's the good stuff?
I hope you have many happy years together. Enjoy.
Jo
When my Husband died suddenly at age 54, I was left with his Mom, who we had been caretaking for. He was an only- I was it. There was no way to afford a home, so I did it all, from trimming her hair,bathing, popping her off to day care while she could still do that, for the next 2 long years. She did pass in a home, because she had been sick and medicare paid for that, but what a journey. I keep telling God even now, I am humble enough, where's the good stuff?
I hope you have many happy years together. Enjoy.
Jo
2 comments
Thanks Jo. Ray is 'an only' too & the scenario you describe has been a constant worry on my mind. The last seven months, with Ray still living at his house, I have felt as though I was married to his mother. It's been tough but can only get better now. hugs n roses, Meg
Jo; good things come to those who wait & although it may seem long enough, the "good stuff" may be right there staring you in the face
19823✽
Meganne, I can also say don't doubt yourself, this is the best move, for yourself and your hubby's. You need that time with him WITHOUT the third person's presence. I know what I am talking about as I have 2 oldies here and they refuse the old age home. I got them place (the waiting list very long) but with help they could move immediately, and he (my stepfather) went and told them one long story about us chasing them away and, and, and...(his story) so he cancelled without our knowledge. When I contacted the home they told me this, what to do now? So I know exactly what you are goin' through. Sorry for running away with my story. hugs Shirl
1 comment
I will keep you in my prayers
140717✽
96286✽
by
dailylaundry
13 Feb 2012
+10✽
You have gone the "extra" taking care of your MIL. Now it will be time for you and Ray - and, it is about time!! You two won't know how to act around each other - lol!! Lovely pic of you and Coral. I am praying that each day your pain lessens and lessons!! Hugs to you, Laura*
6193✽
I know what that is. You Have given more than what you could, you should not feel bad. She will be well maintained and you can have quality of life now that you are RECOVERING. Enjoy the moment. Ahh! great picture, thanks for sharing your sweet smile!
4131✽
Because you have done so much and your best, you won't and shouldn't feel guilty. Jan
33580✽
So glad you got visits from cuties! Don't even think about feeling guilty, it is time you get a rest so you can get your strength back. Caring for a sick relative is the least selfish thing a person can do and you did more than your fair share. Get better quick, hope for good news from the surgery.
Hugs, Debra
Hugs, Debra
18403✽
You have been a truly loving ,caring person. Now, life is giving back to you-wonderful!
173695✽
You have a met your responsibilites to your new husband and now you live your life to the fullest. You go Girl! Be Happy! Live Laugh Download Stitch!
299559✽
the thing I always tell my kids is this; First we are a couple & then we are parents & then everything else! when the kids are gone if you don't take of the couple all along you risk being strangers & then what! Congratulations on becoming a couple again! What a wonderful Valentine's Day for you! Your MIL will be happier & no offence to you but there they are better equipped to help with her ailments
145791✽
Wonderful news my dear friend. I do know what life is like as a 24hr/7day a week caregiver and it really does suck the very life out of you and makes you old in a hurry. I'm so glad things are looking up for you, now just concentrate on getting Meg well/Lillian
15982✽
by
theduchess
13 Feb 2012
+9✽
Don't you dare feel guilty!A new door has opened for you and Ray. Enjoy the rest of your lives together.Live each day as if it is your last.We are here for such a short while.
6622✽
by
bettytaylor
13 Feb 2012
+10✽
Meganne, so glad you had a good day and good news. Maybe some of those prayers are being answered.Betty
959✽
Wow Lady my hat goes off to you. I truly admire you. God will forever protec and guide you for your unselfish gesture. Blessigns. We all can learn from you. Yolandita
158718✽
Happy for you and for your MIL AND Ray- she gets professional care, Ray gets his wife and you get to be yourself and not caring for someone 24/7 - no one can continue 24/7 for long and be good for anyone.
46919✽
Wonderful news my dear friend...I applaud you!!!!!
Welcome my dear! kisses and HEALTH!!!
Welcome my dear! kisses and HEALTH!!!
6030✽
Glad you got your life back, sometimes we forget to have "TIME FOR ME"
44905✽
by
dlonnahawkins
13 Feb 2012
+8✽
ZHey - you are looking good, and I do know what you mean....you have given the care, and now need it yourself...get your strength back, and enjoy your alone time with DH.
20661✽
Hey you're looking great, guess the good news of MIL going to be taken care of away from home did put some color back into those cheeks. So glad that you and Ray can finally be newly weds. Now get yourself on home and follow doctor's orders, I know it'll be a difficult thing for you to do, but just do it. Love n Hugs Sis
1149✽
Ooohhhhhh....you look so much better! I hope you feel as good as you look, because you look GREAT. Thanks for keeping us posted!
8321✽
by
memasanders
13 Feb 2012
+6✽
YOU LOOK GREST SND I HSVE WALKED A MILE IN YOUR SHOES I KOW THE RELIEF YOU FEEL WHEN THEY COME OFF BELIEVE ME GLAD YOUR DOING WELL LUV GOD BLESS
1 comment
PSI CAN'T SPELL.
LOL
LOL
10179✽
21543✽
by
susiesembroidery
13 Feb 2012
+7✽
Dear Meganne, I am so pleased to see your happy, smiling face and I am so pleased that you will be going home tomorrow. I hope that you will be able to recuperate without any problems and upsets. We know what it is to take care of an old person and it is no easy life. You are always at beck and call and no time to do anything for yourselves or one another. Hopefully this change will be for the best of all involved. You are a marvellous unselfish person and a loving lady. God bless you and Ray and He will take care of your dear MIL> in His own way. All the best and good luck with your recovery.*****
88650✽
Oh Meg, you make me smile seeing this picture! You look great! You are in my thoughts and prayers for a speedy recovery. Love and hugs, Yoriko
360671✽
yes that was a tough road to hoe working with your mil you likely deserve a gold metal for all you have endured .Been there,done that so my hat is off to you and i will do a jig just for you:):) love ,hugs and blessings are wished for you and Ray Carolyn
12613✽
oh meg on one is judging you..ive been in your shoes.and it is a big relife too be set free from the responsabilities of elders....i am glad you are going home and you can restart your new life...congrats on the fist day of the rest of your life....lov lucy
1411✽
by
barbararae
13 Feb 2012
+7✽
Dear Meg, this is the beginning of your new life(not that you didn`t make the most of your old one). I am wishing for many,many fun filled days for you to enjoy with your husband and friends and your craft. Your determination is an inspiration to all of us and this is why we love you so much.LOL Barb
27071✽
Wish I could give you a big hug Meganne, you really are a brick - love that smiling face, a new beginning for everyone and I am positive you will all be much happier including MIL...Take care and keep on smiling...hugs x0x0x and no regrets Kiddo, you hear us all telling you !!! Listen !!! Love ya x0x0x0
24424✽
I would never stand in judgement of you. I have been there and I know how difficult it is to be a care giver.Relationships go on hold..in our case for 17 years. I wouldn't (&couldn't) have done different,but we have to be so thankful for great and loving partners! So very happy for you today! ENJOY!!
Hugs, Nadyne
Hugs, Nadyne
3368✽
No judgment here. My 88 yo mother lives with me and it has been 10 years. Caregivers do get the short end sometimes. Now with your good news it is time for you to live for you, enjoy life. huggs
5955✽
I am pleased for you Meg I know what caring for someone with Alzheimers does to you, no one could possibly think you're selfish♥
10494✽
So good to see your smile. I understand your feelings. It is hard being the caregiver. We did it with my MIL for a bit.
24342✽
Meganne, you have a heart of gold, and have done and will continue to do everything for others, and you will still be there for MIL, just in a different way! Take some time out for yourself and recover first! Never ever feel guilty! Love and hugs Sally
17214✽
Dear Meganne - you've carried the burden, you've earned your stripes and now you will have time to smell the roses, you and Ray together.
Note for Ray ..... don't forget the chockies!!!!
Much love -
AlmaG.
Note for Ray ..... don't forget the chockies!!!!
Much love -
AlmaG.
89895✽
Your not selfish and all the care you gave hopefully didn't go unnoticed. I cared for both of my parents and could only get away for a day or two every few months. For those that have never been a caretaker for a family member has no idea how stressful it can be. It's like having an infant in the home again and sleeping with one ear open. An infant don't talk but an adult can complain and demand a lot of things. Can feel your big since of relief.
2533✽
by
1allamericangirl
14 Feb 2012
+2✽
Meganne so glad to hear you are going to get your life back. Way to many times I have seen people taking care of others & their own health is going down the tubes so to speak because they are putting so much into that other person. Girl now it is time to take care of yourself. Get well quick. Just stitched out the Uganda Elephant today for one of my quilts. Stitched out beautifully.
132773✽
Meganne that is not been selfish, you have done so much. Have fun and enjoy your time with Ray. Oh and don't forget the "cuties"
Hugs and love Yvonne
Hugs and love Yvonne