I would be disappointed but would take it back and give it to someone who would appreciate it. Better that than have her tuck it away somwewhere never to be seen again.
hug
Michelle

I have to say I was quite blown away by her remark! I was & still am very hurt by her response & have not been able to open the box of all of the set that I gave her since then! Because she gave it back to me & Now that I have it I just don't know what to do with it? I guess I could post it in projects & then you could see if it was really bad? But I have to have my coffee first!

I know that a friend has to be honest, but I'm not sure if one of my friends would say "no thank you" right in my face. I think they would rather accept it and never use it. But in case this did happen; I would feel very said and disapointed. I think I could not give this present to someone else without thinking about this answer. Don't really know what I would reply to her..

Wow! That's certainly an interesting response to a gift. While it comes off as rather rude, do you suppose that somehow she didn't feel "worthy" of accepting something that took so much time and effort? Some people that you'd never imagine can have self-worth issues that crop up when you least expect them. Also, maybe she feels that by accepting your gift, she will be somehow "obligated" to return the favor, like a birthday present to you she can't afford? Or, perhaps she's just a twit, and you might want to evaluate that "close friend" status. It's really hard to be a "mind-reader", and have to figure out what folks are really saying sometimes. But I can imagine how hurtful that would have been to have a gift thrown back in your face like that after so much thought and effort went into it. Maybe you used a design that brought up bad memories somehow? I have a friend that loves flowers and gardening, but can't stand stargazer lilies, because an arrangement of them was in her mother's room when her mother passed away. That's something I never would have thought of had it not come up in conversation one time. I guess my best advice would be to either give the set to someone who would really love it and appreciate it, or sell it on eBay. And think twice before giving this particular friend any more gifts. So sorry this happened to you, life is surely full of nasty surprises! Big hugs, Marji

I would be upset! I would never make her anything again.
Even if she didn't like it -- that was very rude! I would be nice and kind to her... never let her know she hurt my feelings but I would never even show her anything I had made....
MJDG

Wow that was rude, I would tell her how much time and consideration you gave to please her and how sad you feel that she would say such a thing...and I would not spend anymore time making anything for such an inconsiderate person.

wow alot of zeros here, I have watered them all ************

pick yourself up,sweetheart,dust yourself off,now perhaps you could give the gift to a charity or scout group to raffle or auction off,you'll feel better knowing that it went to a good course.
regards lesley

By reading at the bottom I have my answer. My original thought was if they were a very good friend you would have know their style. I would say forget what has happened and move on BUT it is not easy. I would not offer them anything again. YOu are lucky to be able to ask us what we think so you now know it was not a appropriate response from what you thought was a close friend

So sorry this has happened to you. And how very rude of her! Doesn't sound like a true friend to me. Even if it wasn't my style I would have said thank you and admired your work. She has forgotten the most important rule my grandmother taught me, its not the gift, its the thought that counts when someone gives you something. It may not be something you like, but the person giving it gave it out of love and/or friendship. Never turn your nose up at that, dear. After they leave quietly put it away in a box for safe keeping, it may end up meaning a lot more to you at a later date. And if it doesn't than donate it to someone or someplace where it will find a new home. But never tell the giver that you don't like something they have given you, thats just mean and rude.
I have recieved things that where not my taste and my daughters have taken those items home with many thanks and smiles. There is nothing wrong with passing it on to someone who would appreciate it more. It shows more ct for the giver to pass it on to where it will find a happy home than say or do anything hurtful that you can't take back.
Diane

some friend!! I'd drop her.

I don't care how you color it, that was very rude of her. Don't let it affect how you feel about yourself, you were being nice, she was rude...done deal. Just because she may not have appreciated it, doesn't mean she had to be rude and hurtful. Someone else will love it I'm sure.

Ouch! That would hurt! I find it more than just a bit rude, but her loss, your gain-you have a lovely gift for someone else! I've never had something handed back but it makes me wonder if getting it back isn't better than seeing it unused or uncared for

She is very rude and I would think it would be very bad manners to respond to you her friend like that. wasn't very well brought up was she????

How rude of her, I would have trouble forgiving that so called friend. I could never hurt someone's feelings like that, even someone who wasn't a friend already! No more gifts for her and maybe no more friendship either, it is up to you if you can forgive that. Hugs to you for being a friend, Debra

Well, my goodness! Hope she enjoyed her last gift I'd give! Even if it wasn't my "style" I'd never say that & give it back!! You can be sure there's another friend that would love it! Don't worry about it,..some people just don't think!

That's a difficult question to answer. You called her a close friend. If you treasure her friendship, tell her you were hurt and work it out with frank communication.(That should include lots of hugs..) I know a woman who so valued honesty, that she would say what she thought...she now realizes that this can be rude and hurtful and is trying to learn diplomacy to combine with the honesty. We worked out many a disagreement over the years, but she is a dear friend that I know I can trust.(I've got lots of baggage, too). I also know that she truly loves me. That gives me a certain sense of security because I know that she will be there for me. The bottom line to me would be: Is this a friendship I want to keep. Some people are high maintenance. Some are worth the effort, others will remain more casual friends. I would try to decide which category this "friend" belongs to, and conduct myself accordingly.

A gift made by a friend is special because it comes from the heart. To refuse such a gift is beyond the pale. I have treasured many things because they came from friends - the fact that they were not my style was irrelevant - I made use of them anyway. I am sorry this happened to you!!
L

Some people are like that.. and it is a shame.. guess who will never get anything again from me..

I would feel the same way I did when someone very close to me told me "I don't need any more of your c**p." Meaning my craft items. So she gets no more of anything I make and I give it to someone who will appreciate it. Problem solved
Bev

I agree with quail. We are to learn to love one another. Hard when some put themselfs first. But if that good of friend and the hurt, hurts that much then I would confront her and let her know. Hopefully it does include hugs.If not to everything there is a season and time. If she turns away and comes back asking forgiveness you have a good heart and can forgive. That is obivious by the wonderful thought and time you put into the gift. Sending you one Big Hug.

I have had that from my in-laws. They don't like embroidered stuff. So, I now don't give them anything at all. Now they can
't say that it not their style. What a pity when something done with so much love is thrown back in your face. It is very hurtful and I am sorry that it had to happen to you. Chin up and show her that you are the better person. Oh- Take back your gift.LOL I think she is a very unsensitive person, to hurt you like that. Love and hugs****

How extremely rude this person is, she doesn't deserve to have you for a friend♥

Been there. Cried the tears. Moved on, with a very different perspective of the person in question. I wasn't sure if their reaction is from rudeness or ignorance or maybe both.

God bless

thank you ladies for sharing you have given me alot to think about! HUgs &***************2all, Loralye

Well, it sort of happened to me on my first machine embroidery Christmas when, buoyed up with my newly acquired machine embroidery skills, I made a lined but not padded Christmas-patchwork tote for my friend to have in her purse to carry her Christmas shopping home. I had placed her other presents in it and wrapped it like a gift parcel. It had one of Veronika's beautiful and intricate Christmas monogram designs with the letter 'R' in the middle of the front. She took one desultory look, no comment, folded it up and placed it aside. Feeling a little hurt I told her what it was for and then she discovered her initial on the front. She is a bag-maker and I'm afraid I didn't hit the spot at all. No worries!!! That's her!!! She has other qualities to concentrate upon. I just moved on.
Any totes like that will be given to more appreciative people in future, though.
I really think that only people who do machine embroidery really know and appreciate the time we spend on creating our projects.
AlmaG.

I've found several items that I've made (for family members) in nearby thrift stores, but only once has someone done that to me. And of all people, it was my sister in law. I had over-spent my budget and bought her something quite nice, and she gave it back to me. Since it was a custom item, it couldn't be returned. She is gone now, and the incident seems petty, but at the time, it really hurt.

Here's a thought. As sewers, it is such a lovely idea to put love into a project and give freely of our time & effort... however, some people see these items as 'homemade' & don't like/appreciate it. Because of that fact, I don't tend to give to all and sundry. Instead I wait until people tell me how much they love what I make & how lucky I am to be able to sew etc etc., (you know how it goes) .. those are the people who receive handmade gifts from me :)

The question is do you want to be her friend, to me the definition of a friend takes all the stuff; sheds the negativity and keeps the good stuff. Sometimes that is really hard to do, time helps heal wounds, and maybe someday you can tell her how this experience made you feel. Hope this helps give you peace of mind.

Oh sweetie, how close this is. I spent weeks searching a design theme for a special friend and all my efforts were shoved aside with a " I don't get a feeling with any of these". The end!!!

Some friends get on very well in this fashion.
I know of two old ladies 87 and 92 that have this 'truthfulness' between them.
And they must have started with taking offence but have grown fonder of each other.
I think sometimes we can overcome these things and still remain friends.
She did better by giving it back to you, the maker.
My daughter told me that she has been hanging onto a huge pile of suit/work clothes that no longer fit her,but they are too smart and she will never be that size again. Should she pass them on? Shame, I said yes.
Honesty is hard, Do we lie all the time just to make others feel good?
Some are proud of their badly constructed ugly, to me, items. But, I say "how nice".
If you can keep a fiend is a challenge we all face.

Sorry you had this happen. It sure wasn't a very nice thing to say and do after all you did. But maybe now with all our comments and advice, you might be able to have a chat with her and let her know how you feel about it and that in future you won't make anything for her so that you don't insult her. You'll have to kind of wait and see what kind of a reaction you get to this and then decide if she is someone you want to keep as a friend. You never know what she may say. Good luck and let us know what happens.

I live in south eastern USA and I don't know any one that would do such a thing. We go out of our way to not me rude that would be just despicable for some one to do that. I am afraid I would be very honest and tell her she was rude and she could find something to do with it even if she puts it in a drawer as a keepsake just to reminder her she had someone who cared enough to make her something.

My friend's quote "never give a 'arty/crafty' item to anyone who doesn't do craft" ....they won't appreciate it!

This is a difficult question to answer, I think it depends on which friend it is. It would be nice to think my friends know me well enough to be honest if they really didn't like something,
but, then again, if they know me that well, they would also know how much it would hurt my feelings if I thought they didn't like a gift I made especially for them.

I guess it's just lucky I don't sew that much so I would rarely give my friends a gift that I didn't go out and buy. Just ask them. LOL!!!

I agree with Vickiannette. A friend of mine told me recently that now she appreciates the FSL doiles I have sent her for her birthday or other occasions in the past couple of years. What has happened is that she has bought a sewing/embroidery machine and when she tried to embroider FSL, had such poor results that she started to understand the time and effort I put into those items, and appreciated those gifts. She never told me these things before, and I loved her for telling me. She made me feel good at the same time!

Last time I met my friend, I brought a few of the items I have embroidered and shown them to her. I told her that she could choose whatever she wanted, and she has selected a crochet-type of FSL doily. Both of us were happy!

Not all the gifts we receive are exactly what we want, but good manners dictate to accept them and thank the gift giver. This is what my mother told me when I was a little girl.

Hugs, Lidia

hello first are you shure that is your friend? in fact when you offer some thing what is important is not if it is expensive or nice or if you love it but if your friend would like it to endurstand why offering a nice painting to a blind man or a nice CD to a man who cannot ear

IT happened to me, i did embroider 5 kitchen holder from Smart needle, they take a lot of time to create, Gave to a very close friend, never saw them on display, I did ask her, she told me it is not her style,it took me many hours to do them, not counting the money spend in kitchen towells, and the designs, No more gifts for her, and, yes, it did hurt in every way.

I think some people sometimes forget what a gift is. A gift is something GIVEN peroid. It wasn't something you HAD to do, it was something you WANTED to do. It is not like a BILL ,that you OWE payment.It was a GIFT that money can't buy. I think she lost a one of a kind GIFT in more ways than one, she lost the gift and part of the love you had for her, I am sure. I am saddened that you have been hurt. In Christian love,Toogie