Oh megs- i read this through tears welling up- so heartbreaking- phone and reassure yourself :)
BIG HUGS
Marie

I agree with Marie, phone and reassure yourself, I don't think they will mind at all.
Hugs, Lidia

Oh Meg. Just a big big hug from me.

I am so sorry to hear this Meganne, she has the easy part, you are the one who will have the memories to either help get you through or keep you sad. As you said, you knew this was coming and you will have to adjust, it is going to be very hard for you. Remember there are all these cuties out here when you need a cyber hug or shoulder to cry on. We all love you. Try not to worry about the things you can not change. Hugs, Debra

Meganne stop blaming yourself! There is a limit to what we can cope with and you have reached it, You earn a rest and your MIL is well cared for. It is always hard to make these decisions but if you became ill because you overdid it the situation would be much worse. Think for a few days about yourself, you deserve that!

My dear, dear Meganne! I know you can't help but worry, but she is where she will be given very good care, where people undertand Alzheimer's and can cope with it probably better than you can. Alzheimer's is a devil of a disease, and it will only get worse. Many years ago a friend had to put her mother in a home because she just couldn't cope any longer with her at her home; it had become downright dangerous for her mother! If she was not watched literally every minute, she'd get into trouble. Several times she took her medicine twice or three times because she said Marion 'forgot' to give it to her (but unbelievably she was still with it enough to find where Marion had hidden it). One time, when Marion went to the basement to put in a load of wash, all of 15 minutes, the neghbours came over with mom in tow; she had gone to the mailbox in just her bra and panties on a rather crisp fall day. Meganne, I KNOW it hurts terribly, but hard as it is, you're the one that hurts, and Ray, but not Mum. The blessing of Alzheimer's is that they live so much in their own world they usually are pretty satisfied with whatever happens. They truly can't remember wanting things to be different, they can't feel 'abandoned' by their children because half the time they don't even remember you exist, sometimes even when you're there beside them, as you found out. Beloved friend, please don't make yourself suffer what she is NOT suffering. You have nothing to be guilty about, you are not God that you could have fixed this, or prevented it from happening. It's so very hard to see loved ones fail like this, especially when it's not the first time, it brings back the hurt of all the other times, I know. But for her, it's truly better to have 24 hour care, and for her to be safe, and for you to know she's safe & cared for. It's still hard, no doubt, but I think better than watching her waste away in a hospital bed from cancer or one of the other incurable, painful diseases our older ones sometimes get. I visited my mother in the hospital 25 miles away every day for a year, watching them cut away more and more of her body, until she finally died. I don't recommend the experience. Nothing I could do about that kind of suffering. Your dear MIL is not suffering like that; please don't take more suffering upon yourself, I think you've had enough, and more than enough. Let be, relax, get a good massage, have a glass of wine, have a good cry. Life is not fair. Guilt & regret won't make it any fairer. Just live each day to your fullest, with all the joy you can muster, and be at peace with this decision. We love you, Marji

It's like taking you child to daycare or the first day of school and having to leave them. The facility sounds like it has a lot of senior oriented activities and she may enjoy being there with the other seniors. Hope you can find some normal in your day to where your not constantly thinking about her. Don't hesitate to call and ask how she is getting along.

Life is so difficult to understand. I feel for you all. *** :)

Meg, dear - I do understand - I went through this too. Just do what you have to do - her quality of life will be fine - the reality of it all is - you did this for her & for you and Ray - take care of you - do whatever it takes to get on with your life - she will be cared for - don't play into the poor me part of this - I have tears running down my face - trying to be strong and tell you what I believe you need more than anything else - is is never easy to see what they go through - when it comes to sort of thing - but to be honest with yourself - that she is where she needs to be for the care that she needs to get. I will be praying for you, your MIL and for Ray. Let me know if there is anything that I can do - to help you get through this - there has been enough time pass - that I believe I could walk through this with you. Love!

Dear Meganne .......................
I have no words to give you comfort.
My thoughts are with you tonight.
Much love,
Alma.

Dear Meganne, just to say I think of you and Ray and to send you a packet full of stars, to brighten your night, lots of hugs and roses to ease the pain. Be at peace within yourself knowing that you did everything for her with a loving heart. God bless you and Ray as well as you dear MIL and the staff caring for her.******

Meganne, I am crying with you. I wish I could really help and sometimes life is NOT fair. Sending a really BIG HUG. DeVon

Lots of love and very big hugs.
Helen

She is OK, and you need to take extra care of yourself, because we are all guilt built, so be good to you, be aware of you and take care of YOU! hugs! Live Laugh Download Stitch!

I will be keeping you and your MIL in my prayers! I do know the hard place you are in right now. But....God is there; He will sustain all of you. Trust Him; He is the all in all! I know this one too!! God Bless and many Hugs, ro

You have made the right choice, but it is a hard choice. I too have been through this and understand your pain. Prayers and hugs

I am so sorry this is so hard.
Big hugs and prayers Bev

It was a hard thing to do but the best thing for all of you. Your MIL will be cared for & have everything done for her. You need to rest & enjoy your time with Ray now. My MIL felt the same as you after putting FIL into resptie & then full time care, due to having Dementia. Getting old isn't much fun. Take care & God bless.

My eldest sister will be 90 next week. She has been in a nursing home for the past 10 years. She has dementia. Was put in the dementia wing of the home and has been going reasonablly well, although she does'nt know who we are. She has had several falls and a few weeks ago fell out of bed. She is now in a wheel chair full time, so what have they done at the home? Took her out of the dementia wing and back into the other part of the home. We feel she will not get the care now that she needs. She is left in the lounge with those who cannot take themselves back to their rooms. She can't ring a bell or call when she needs to go to the bathroom or wants a drink. It is just so sad and frustrating. I feel for her and her children and grand children as well as my brothers and sisters. And the sad thing is we can't do anything about it. Meganne I know what you are going through. Hugs and flowers, Shirley