HIDING YOUR FABRIC

1. Leave fabric in your car. You are probably the only one who cleans it out anyway.
2. When you no longer have room for passengers, move fabric to trunk.
3. When trunk no longer closes, bring fabric into the house, but be sure all bags are sealed. Never bring in a bag with a quilt shop logo. It's a dead giveaway.
4. Get a fabric cupboard with doors that lock. Store fabric inside.
5. When fabric cupboard is full, pack more in, have a friend lean on the door, then lock. Open cautiously to avoid a fabric explosion.
6. Hide fabric in closet behind and in shoes. Men never look at women's shoes unless shapely legs are in them.
7. Hide fabric behind clothes on closet shelves.
8. Use fabric as shelf liner in closets. He won't notice.
9. Put false bottoms in clothes hampers. No one digs deeply in them except you!
10. Lay fabric on dryer as folded clothing.
11. Store it in rubber tub. Mark as women's clothes.
12. Store in plain sight, possibly as a dresser scarf. Say it's a new style.
13. Hang as a shower curtain. He won't know the difference.
14. Use as a curtain for a window on the shady side of the house.
15. Place between sheet and comforter on the bed for extra warmth.
16. Repeat with teenager's beds, but fabric may need to be washed frequently.
17. Layer under cushion on sofa. Explain it's needed because some remote control-punching, chip-munching, sweating couch potato is squishing the cushions. His mind will turn to processing these comments, and he won't remember the fabric is even there.
18. Use as a tablecloth.
19. Use smaller pieces as place mats.
20. Put in closed box under sink marked "Cleaning Supplies." That should keep him out.
21. Fill another box and mark as "Feminine Supplies." For men, worse than cleaning supplies.
22. Fill your cedar chest.