I would hate to wash it first only to find out that my ss is allergic to the soap that I use?

Hi there, Lots of fabrics should be washed before doing any sewing/embroidery for the shrinking.
Hugs Yvonne

If it's cotton, and expected to be washed if it gets dirty, then I'd definitely wash the fabric to eliminate shrinkage. It would be a shame if you made it and after washing it didn't fit. I don't think I'd worry too much about your detergent. I have some allergies to perfumes, but I sure wouldn't feel bad about washing a present before I used it, especially if there was a note in there to say it had been pre-washed before made anyhow. I'd throw it in the wash, and be grateful to have had somebody make it for me! Hugs, Marji