FRUSTRATED..ADVICE PLEASE.... I have had problems really connecting w...

34246✽

by camylow 10 Aug 2013 ( edited Aug 11'13 18:24 )

FRUSTRATED..ADVICE PLEASE....

I have had problems really connecting with my stepson...He's 38...I really love his wife..she is gentle and very sweet. (don't know how he got her to marry him)...At this time for almost 2 years he has been a real jerk to his mother hasn't talked to her and doesn't want anything to do with her (we are good friends-the type that would help out whenever needed without question)...She sent him a birthday wish and he replied really nasty.....so I was told today she won't be going to the birth of their baby (our grandchild)..on the register to baby r us, it didn't list either one of us as grandparents,,,i don't really care, but that hurt her badly...SO...my dh wants to go down when the baby is born, however I don't...I don't think it is right the way he treats his mother and I feel I shouldn't go either because of it...I am in the process of making this quilt only to see she has a jungle theme going...

WHAT WOULD YOU DO...

Stick to my gut and do what I think I should do..stay here and not go because of his bad behavior...(they live in another state by the way.,

continue with this quilt anyway or make a jungle theme one instead...

or go and try and enjoy myself...mind you I do not want to go, but my dh does...He doesn't know about the latest letter either.

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Comments (9)

41781✽

by lilylady 10 Aug 2013

+8✽

You said he has a lovely wife, I would think you would be hurting her more then him. She may need support and a good hug! sometimes it not about us and life is really, really short.

1 comment

by camylow 10 Aug 2013

I know this...he just makes life miserable

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41781✽

by lilylady 10 Aug 2013

+7✽

sorry, I very nice quilt, give it with pride. This generation is in a class all their own.

1 comment

by camylow 10 Aug 2013

thank you...I kindof figured I would do my bear theme anyway. just not sure how it will be received

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140717✽

by spendlove 10 Aug 2013

+9✽

Be nice to your step son's wife and take no notice of the rest of them.

1 comment

by camylow 10 Aug 2013

would be better wouldn't it...its just hes the type that would throw a hissy fit if Rose came with me...

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5660✽

by sbott54 10 Aug 2013

+8✽

Every family has one member who doesn't make life easy for the others. I try to treat this individual with utmost kindness with the hope someday this person will wake up and see things around him. It's hard not to want to slap the daylights out of him, but that adds fuel to the fire and makes it more miserable for other family members, who will suffer the most from his reaction. Your quilt is precious and I can imagine the mother will be delighted ar the show of love and support. Think of only her and her new babe and enjoy the arrival of the precious bundle.

1 comment

by camylow 11 Aug 2013

SO wise words..thanks

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463429✽

by sewmom 10 Aug 2013

+8✽

To start with I would finish this quilt. You obviously put a lot of work into it for this baby and maybe someday the baby will appreciate it. If you have the time you could make a jungle quilt too just because its fun to match but really, they will need a lot of blankets and they won't all match.
Try to think of the future, if you stay calm and keep in touch with this family you will be able to be in their lives and maybe even help if needed. However, dont be a doormat. I think you should express your feelings to the stepson in a polite manner: "When you do.....I feel....perhaps you could try ......." Fill in the blanks.
Good luck, I know family issues are very difficult because there are usually underlying historical problems.

1 comment

by camylow 11 Aug 2013

dh talked to him last night some...found out reasons a little but I still thin k there needs to be a lot of respect for parents shown here...ahhh now to get a jungle theme one found while I finish this one.

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16529✽

by vickiannette 11 Aug 2013

+7✽

seems that you must be polite, but ignore the man otherwise. Was he an 'only child' and spoilt? Pehaps he has high blood pressure? Maybe he needs to be told!!

2 comments

by vickiannette 11 Aug 2013

finish your beautiful quilt and too bad if it does fit any theme.

by camylow 11 Aug 2013

Thank you...going to do just that

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4061✽

by smburt 11 Aug 2013

+7✽

I'm sure she will love the quilt, everything doesn't have to be theme oriented. It looks so lovely. Such cute bears.

1 comment

by camylow 11 Aug 2013

thanks they are calle bodacious bears...

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158718✽

by jrob 11 Aug 2013

+4✽

Diana, you must go. If only to support your darling husband upon this joyous birth. The baby doesn't deserve any of this and we can all pray that the birth of this child will began a change in your step son. How does your husband feel about the mother of his son not going? Talk privately with the step-son's wife and let her know your support and love and also that of Rose. His wife will have the most influence on him and maybe she can help, or you may have the job of peacekeeper. Whatever happens, love that sweet innocent baby and give him the beautiful bear quilt you have put so much love and attention into from his grammy camy

1 comment

by camylow 11 Aug 2013

that's cute...grammy camy...oh boy getting older sure gets new names...hehehe

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173695✽

by cfidl 11 Aug 2013

+4✽

I do not understand even my own family. I would trust what jrob has said. It makes sense. Hope all goes well and remember if there is healing to be had, you have to show up to participate and encourage it.

1 comment

by camylow 11 Aug 2013

thanks

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