dennis999 — Cute Embroidery

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+23✽

28 March 2013: THE POWER OF WOMAN. There were eleven people - ten men and one woman - hanging onto a rope from the rescue helicopter. There was a real risk that unless one of these people let go of the rope, it would break under the strain of their com

1 28 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+25✽

28 March 2013: Good morning from the UK. I'm hoping some of you ladies may be able to help me. I am trying to identify any websites which offer a range of realistic and quality designs for motorcycles or motorcycle emblems/logo's, for purchase. I hav

6 28 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+16✽

27 March 2013: This could be my epitaph............................... Q. What's black and blue and found lying in a ditch? A. A man who told too many blonde jokes!

1 27 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+17✽

27 March 2013: What do you call a caring, sharing, considerate and gifted man? A Myth.

4 27 Mar 2013

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by dennis999 in Community

+34✽

27 March 2013: A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full length mirror. "You know dear," she says, "I look in the mirror and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled......my chest sags down to my waist, an

7 27 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+18✽

26.03.2013: Here you are ladies. A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter in his hand. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies" he replied. "Oh, did you manage to kill any?" the wife asked

1 26 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+19✽

26 March 2013 (UK): Matt's father picked him up after school and asked, "So, how did the school play auditions go? Did you get a part?" Matt enthusiastically announced that he indeed did get a part in the play, "I play the part of a man who's

1 26 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+41✽

26 March 2013 (UK): As a oldie newbie here, I thought you might like to know a little of my background. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I just couldn't concentrate. I then tried my hand as a lumberjack but

14 26 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+25✽

26 March 2013 (UK): After much careful research, it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them, were: His dizzy aunt.................Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes......Gotta Gogh The brother wh

7 26 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+39✽

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he preaches for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, however, he preaches for two and a half hou

9 26 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+39✽

A man joke for you ladies: A man walks into a flower shop and says to the lady owner, "I'd like to buy some flowers, please." "Certainly Sir. What do you have in mind?" The man shrugs, "Well, I'm not sure. I uh, I uh, I uh.....

12 25 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+21✽

Now here's a twist on the blonde joke: Two Irish guys were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing. Paddy says: "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole, but we don't ha

1 25 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+29✽

Here's an embroidery joke for you: A blonde had just purchased some lingerie and asked the salesperson if it would be possible to have the sentence, "If you can read this you're too damn close" embroidered on the panties and bra. "Yes M

4 25 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+29✽

A Polish immigrant went to the authorities to apply for a driver's license. Firstly, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: CZWIXNOSTACZ "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it

5 25 Mar 2013

11929✽

by dennis999 in Community

+24✽

I know that I'm risking my neck with this but please don't take offence (No, it's not a blonde joke): What are the three fastest means of communication? 1. Television 2. Telephone and............................wait for it......

6 24 Mar 2013